Narcissistic prayer (A brief guide)

In this guide, we will discuss what a narcissistic prayer is and how to spot narcissists in your life.

Narcissistic prayer: what is it?

The Narcissistic Prayer portraits how a narcissistic thinks. This prayer goes as follows:

“That didn’t happen. And if it did, it wasn’t that bad. And if it was, that’s not a big deal. And if it is, it is not my fault. And if it was, I didn’t mean it. And if I did. You deserved it”. 

Let’s consider a few things, everyone, at some point will meet a narcissist, either a family member, a friend, a colleague, a boss, partner or spouse. Also, let’s consider the fact that spotting a narcissist is not an easy task since someone can actually have narcissistic traits but won’t actually make them meet the full criteria for a Narcissistic personality disorder or any other personality disorder for that matter.

Additionally, when you are caught up on a narcissistic abusive pattern you may not be aware at first and won’t realize at first you have a narcissistic person in your life. You need to be aware of the fact that you don’t need to feel guilty if you are not able to help them since they won’t even recognize they have a problem even if you confront them with scientific facts. 

On the contrary, if they feel they are being criticized or their behavior is being questioned, they will just become defensive and quite aggressive. They can even make you question your sanity and in the end will attempt to make you feel as if you are the one with the problem, not them. Your job is to distance yourself from these types of people since they can cause a lot of harm and pain and not feel any remorse about it. 

Their narcissistic supply is people, using manipulative tactics to get what they want from others at any cost not even caring about your feelings or anyone’s opinion because “they are always right”. This will only boost their ego and make them feel important.

But a question pops up into your mind, How can I know if someone is a narcissist? Getting a narcissist to be evaluated by a licensed mental health professional can be impossible since they won’t admit they need help and simply asking “Are you a narcissist?” can either give you a “yes” or “no” answer, but won’t give you any additional information or understanding of such complex set of behaviors. 

Who can be considered as a Narcissist?

As we discussed so far, narcissism is a complex personality trait that includes myths and misperceptions about this topic. Psychologists and mental health professionals have tried to find ways to measure narcissism through the years but they have had little success on the matter due to the complexity of the behavior. 

Additionally, they have attempted to draw a line between narcissism as a clinical disorder and as a personality trait. 

Sander van der Linden, Ph.D. from psychology Today along with Seth Rosenthal, Ph.D., in experimental Psychopathology from Harvard University, and expert in psychometric measurement and personality assessment have a few a lot to say on the matter. 

According to them, “Narcissism is a complex personality construct that, most scholars believe, is comprised of a number of different dimensions. For example, we all pretty much agree that traits such as grandiosity (believing you are better than almost everyone else), entitlement (believing that you deserve a special treatment that others don’t deserve), and acting in an accordingly arrogant manner are all central facets of narcissism”. 

Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

According to psychology today, Narcissistic personality disorder includes symptoms such as:

  •  Poor self-identity
  • Inability to appreciate others or little to no empathy for how other people feel
  • Entitlement or an exaggerated sense of self-importance, feeling overly special and superior (e.g. exaggerating achievements or talents)
  • Lack of authenticity
  • Need for control or take advantage of others exploiting them for their personal gain
  • Intolerance of the views/opinions of others
  • Emotional detachment
  • Grandiosity: in the form of thoughts related to personal success, power, and attractiveness/sex appeal. 
  • Lack of awareness or concern regarding the impact of their behavior
  • Minimal emotional reciprocity
  • A desperate need for the approval and positive attention of others (admiration and recognition)

People with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder may have difficulties dealing with change, in addition, they may feel depressed or feel insecure and vulnerable reacting in an aggressive way towards others when they don’t seem to admire them or give the attention they feel they deserve or feel entitled to. 

It is important to take into consideration that not every person with narcissism or a narcissistic personality disorder can manifest the condition in the same way. In addition, the severity and intensity of the symptoms may also vary.  

Personality disorders: DSM-5

Personality disorders within the DSM-5 classification include:

Even if the disorders have their own category and symptoms, it is said that someone can manifest more than one personality trait at the same time that does not belong to the same category.

When narcissism+ antisocial personality disorder

They are also known as sociopaths. Antisocial Personality Disorder is primarily characterized by a consistent disregard or inability to acknowledge other people’s feelings, here manipulation and deceit can take place as well as physical or emotional abuse. They tend to be aggressive or violent but there are some cases of people with an antisocial personality disorder that actually do not display this kind of behavior. 

Another key feature is a lack of remorse for wrongdoing or the inability to recognize they did something wrong or made a mistake. In addition, people with an antisocial personality disorder most likely started to show symptoms of conduct disorder during childhood. 

Some of the displayed behaviors can include being violent towards other people and animals, vandalism, or theft. They don’t tend to think about the consequences of their actions or simply don’t really care.

Why is this blog about narcissistic prayer important?

As we discussed, the narcissistic prayer helps us understand a little bit how a narcissist thinks, how they justify the lying, manipulation, lack of empathy and self-awareness of having a problem. 

Additionally, it is important to take into consideration that there is a fine line that divides someone with narcissistic personality traits and someone with a narcissistic personality disorder but still there is an ongoing debate on where we should draw that line. 

Still, having met or currently having a narcissistic person in your life such a narcissistic husband or narcissistic mother. will only diminish your confidence and self-esteem sustaining toxic and abusive relationships that will in turn only harm you. 

It is necessary, once you have identified a narcissist in your life to either learn how to manage it or distance yourself because in the end it will just exhaust and drain you from interacting with them. 

Please feel free to comment in the comments section below!

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Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about narcissistic prayer

What is a narcissistic man like?

A narcissistic man will have a behavioral pattern that includes being self-centered, arrogant thinking and behavior, a marked lack of empathy towards your feeling or anyone’s feelings and they will require an excessive amount of attention and appraisal. They can also be described as cocky, manipulative, selfish and patronizing.

What is narcissistic Behaviour?

Narcissistic behavior within the Narcissistic Personality Disorder spectrum will include an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, toxic relationships and a lack of empathy for others (Mayo Clinic).

What is a covert narcissist?

A covert narcissist can be described as someone that doesn’t mind being a team player but secretly dreams of being a team leader in belief they are better than everyone, is capable of an apology but tend to fake to preserve their reputation, are prone to feeling fragile and disappointed of themselves, believes the world is “ostracizing” them because they are superior, fake being nice to cover their mistakes and like making their friends and partner feel guilty in their relationship.

Can a narcissist have a healthy relationship?

It is very unlikely for narcissists to have healthy relationships due to the nature of their behavior and their lack of feedback. However,  it has been suggested that they can get away with sustaining healthy relationships but their partners tend to feel very isolated and trapped. 

How do you communicate with a narcissist?

When you communicate with a narcissist about being narcissistic, according to Preston Ni M.S.B.A from Psychology Today it is advised to: 

Ask clarifying questions: a good way to diplomatically call someone’s attention to his or her narcissistic behavior is to ask clarifying questions, this way you can see if they have enough self-awareness to recognize the inequity of the scheme.
Use humor and wit: this is considered a powerful communication tool that, when used appropriately, can shed some light on the truth and disarm them from engaging in difficult behavior. 
Separate the behavior from the person: is not what you say it is how you say it. If you imply someone is “being” narcissistic try to replace the word for “acting” narcissistic. This implies the person has the ability to change instead of implying that it is all they are. 
Ask directly whether they are narcissistic or not: asking them “Are you narcissistic?” may seem a blunt question but for many narcissists, they will not only openly admit it but also will take pride in it. This way you appeal to a “distracting” factor and make them become “reasonable” about their behavior. 

Recommended reading

  • How To Kill A Narcissist: Debunking The Myth Of Narcissism And Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse
  • Divorcing and Healing from a Narcissist: Emotional and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery. Co-parenting after an Emotionally destructive Marriage and Splitting up with with a toxic ex
  • The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse
  • Narcissist: The Ultimate Guide: This Book Includes: Narcissistic Abuse & Dealing with a Narcissist. Healing after emotional/psychological abuse. Disarming the narcissist and understanding Narcissism
  • How to Handle a Narcissist: Understanding and Dealing with a Range of Narcissistic Personalities (Narcissism Books)

What we recommend for personality disorders

Professional counselling

  • If you are suffering from a personality disorder then ongoing professional counselling may be your ideal first point of call. Counselling will utilize theories such as Cognitive behavioural therapy which will help you live a more fulfilling life.

References

Psychology Today: How to Profile a Narcissist with one simple question

Psychology Today: Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Narcissism

Narcissisticsociopath.net

Psychology Today: How to Tell You’re Dealing with a Malignant Narcissist

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