My partner won’t get vaccinated (what to do)

If your partner won’t get vaccinated, it can be a stressful time for you and your family. In this article we would be looking into how to reach a middle ground, or how to make your partner understand the importance of getting vaccinated. This usually takes time, and patience. 

We also need to keep in mind to converse while being respectful of your partner’s reservations. It might help to understand why this happens in the first place and how to have a well informed discussion. 

Here are the topics we will be covering :

  • How to communicate respectfully regarding the vaccination?
  • Why doesn’t your partner want the vaccination? 
  • Things to avoid in the conversation

How to communicate respectfully regarding the vaccination? 

If your partner isn’t willing to get vaccinated, then it’s necessary to have a respectful channel of communication regarding this. 

Here are the points you’d like to keep in mind : 

  • Make room for your partner’s concerns
  • Speak about facts 
  • Share your concerns 
  • Be communicative till you reach a middle ground

Make room for your partner’s concerns 

If your partner has concerns regarding the vaccine, then you will have to hear them out. Even if you believe in the vaccination and see no reason against it, it’s important to be respectful of your partner’s concerns.

It’s important for your partner to know that even when you don’t agree with them, you’re still a team. Try to be empathetic and hear out their concerns. This itself will put their worries at ease. 

They might be more receptive to your explanation once they know thay you’ve heard them out and have taken their concerns into consideration. 

Speak about facts 

In a relationship there can usually be a clash when it comes to personal choices and opinions.  Something that is a debate all around the world is vaccination. 

People consider vaccination to be a personal choice. However , the repercussions of not taking the vaccine, in the case of a pandemic, can be highly dangerous and even impactful to everyone’s life around you. 

Sometimes you can try and reach the middle ground, and if that isn’t possible agreeing to disagree can work too. Speak about facts from sources that are trustworthy. 

What do I do if my partner is into conspiracies? 

In case your partner is not willing to take the vaccine due to conspiracy theories, then this can be difficult to handle. Most of the time people believe in conspiracies because it helps to know that everything has a reason. 

For some people it can act as a coping mechanism when they receive news that is hard to accept. This can include a celebrity’s death, a global disaster or even something like a pandemic. 

In such a situation you need to let your partner know that conspiracy theories might or might not be true, but nobody can base their life decisions on a conspiracy. They need to look out for themselves and their families. 

Share your concerns

After listening to your partner’s concerns, you need to speak about your own concerns as well. It can be difficult to do so without blaming, getting emotional, or even pointing fingers. 

However it’s important to take this opportunity to really connect and find a way to respect eachother while being subjective. There is a middle ground where couples can have their own values and yet work together as a team. 

But this obviously requires compromise from either one person alone, or an adjustment from both people in the relationship.

Be communicative till you reach a middle ground

What usually happens when it comes to topics such as vaccination is that after a point, it’s not spoken about. 

Either one or both parties understand that it may trigger an argument, because of which they avoid the topic completely. This eventually doesn’t turn into resentment or might warrant a cold war. 

It’s never healthy to leave an issue or conversation unresolved, this usually turns into anger or resentment and soon starts building tension in your relationship. It also gives room to distance and eventually let’s your drift apart. 

Why doesn’t your partner want the vaccination?

If your partner doesn’t want the vaccination, here are a few reasons for it: 

  • Your partner has a fear of needles
  • Your partner has different beliefs
  • Your partner thinks it’s unnecessary
  • Your partner has health concerns 
  • Your partner is anxious

Your partner has a fear of needles

We’re starting with the simpler reasons because this can usually be solved with a little bit of understanding and lots of support. 

A fear of needles can be serious and stop people from a spectrum of things including health check-ups. If your partner has a serious fear or phobia of needles, you can consult a therapist who specialises in phobias. 

This will help not only when it comes to the vaccination, but also with the general fear as well. 

Your partner has different beliefs

If your partner has a different belief system, such that they think vaccinations aren’t necessary, they think it’s all driven by an agenda, or they have other belief systems. 

This might be a point of concern in the relationship. A difference in belief systems affects couples in varied ways. If incase this difference exists only when it comes to vaccination, then it can be resolved with compromise, and understanding. 

However if your partner’s belief systems are completely different from your own, it can be difficult to reach a common ground on the bigger things in life such as, health care, politics, parenting and so on. 

Such varied beliefs often cause alot of friction when it comes to decisions such as parenting or work-life balance. It’s therefore important to assess the situation before you jump into it. 

When your partner has a different belief when it comes to vaccinations, dig deep into it, understand it first and make note if this is just one area of difference before you proceed.

Your partner thinks it’s unnecessary

This might just be a lack of understanding of the situation at hand. It might be frustrating for you to educate your partner regarding the same, but try to always remember your intentions. 

It is because you are concerned, not because you want to prove your partner wrong. Try not to make it a debate with two sides, remember the intention is to safeguard your partner and the ones who are close to the both of you. 

Your partner has health concerns

Incase your partner has health concerns,then it would be better to involve a trusted health professional. 

This might be your family doctor who knows your partner’s history, or anyone else who is experienced in such situations. A community health professional would also be a good idea. 

Having a trusted source can be beneficial for your partner and their concerns, also try to be with them when they interact with a professional. 

Your partner is anxious

It is normal to have anxiety regarding the vaccination. Alot of people are too engrossed in the news, and naturally they pick up on the negative news, more than the positive. 

There can be side effects but if a person is informed, and has had medical advice then that should not be a problem. 

It can also help to step aside from the news, and focus on information from your surrounding medical professionals. Try to focus on the anxiety as well, controlled breathing is a great way to calm the nerves at any given time. 

Things to avoid in the conversation

 Here are a few points to avoid while having a conversation about the vaccine: 

  • Don’t belittle your partner’s views.
  • Try not to make it a debate competition.
  • Don’t focus on proving them wrong, you’re concerned about their health, that’s the important factor. 
  • Don’t indulge in this conversation all day, have time for your relationship. 
  • Don’t involve a third person without consulting your partner first. 
  • Always make time for their concerns, don’t ignore them. 


It can be frustrating and even confusing when your partner won’t get vaccinated.  But always remember that this is a concern about the health of your partner and the ones around them. Keep in mind that there are things you can do to help make your partner understand, but at the end of the day they are their own person.

If you have any questions or queries, please feel free to drop it in the comment section below.  

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