My partner isn’t ambitious

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If your partner isn’t ambitious , how does it affect your relationship? This is a question not alot of us can answer and even understand. When people aren’t ambitious but they have a partner who is very ambitious, it can cause  conflict at some point in their lives. People who are ambitious have goals that they wish to reach, and they act towards these goals as well. 

In this article we will be looking at why you feel that your partner isn’t ambitious, how this could affect the relationship and what you can do to resolve it. 

Here are the points we will be covering :

  • Why isn’t my partner ambitious?
  • How is this affecting my relationship?
  • What can we do to resolve this? 

Why isn’t my partner ambitious? 

Your partner probably isn’t ambitious , or that’s how you view them because of the following reasons :

  • They aren’t driven in the relationship
  • They don’t have a goal
  • They aren’t focused 
  • They’re too laid-back
  • They seem disinterested

They aren’t driven in the relationship

It’s a possibility that you feel as though your partner isn’t ambitious, because they aren’t invested in the relationship. Being driven in a relationship means that you’re consciously working on it because you see it going somewhere. 

People who are ambitious tend to also be so in their relationships. They have goals and ideas and also work towards achieving them. So in a relationship this would mean that your partner is looking forward to achieving certain milestones with you. 

We all know that we can’t control how our relationships pan out, however if we really want our relationships to work, and we have certain goals for it, then we will strive towards this. It’s human nature to have a drive towards something you need or want. 

When people aren’t showing any drive, or motivation in a relationship it can be assumed that it’s because they don’t want it or need it to go somewhere. They probably don’t see a future for the relationship is often a common conclusion. 

This can either be jumping to a conclusion without having a reasonable conversation, or it can be how you feel about your relationship. Sometimes we assume things about the other person when we ourselves feel that way. If you feel like your partner isn’t driven , is it because you’re doing everything you can for the relationship and they’re not? Or is it because both of you aren’t working towards a particular goal. 

It would be best to evaluate your relationship, and where it stands with a simple conversation with your partner. Ask them how they feel about it and where do you see yourselves going from here. 

These conversations are not just to improve your own clarity regarding the relationship, it’s also to give you an understanding of where your partner stands as well. Based on this you can work towards being on the same page at some point. It can also improve your compatibility when you both know what’s happening in the relationship instead of just assuming. 

They don’t have a goal

Your partner doesn’t have a goal in life or in the relationship and this can be quite frustrating for you. If you’re a driven person who always needs to set tasks and goals for yourself, you might feel alien to a partner who is laid-back and not so motivated. 

If they don’t have a goal in their career and you’re worried to see a future with them, it’s best to discuss this. This is a priority for most people, especially for the ones who are high achievers or believe in always growing in their careers , having a conversation about this can help you prioritise accordingly as well. 

They aren’t focused

Your partner isn’t focused on the relationship. Or they aren’t as much as they should be. This could actually mean that they’re too invested in other parts of their life to focus on your relationship. 

They don’t have the ambition when it comes to your relationship alone. They think and believe that the relationship can just work itself out even if they don’t put in the time for it. It can also mean that every time you’ve had an argument and you’ve explained something to your partner, you don’t see them caring about it. 

It doesn’t translate in their actions and this obviously frustrates you. This shows you that they aren’t focused on making this relationship work. 

They’re too laid-back

You’ve been asking your partner to get something done, it’s been weeks and they still haven’t. This is a recurring pattern in your relationship. This constantly happens and you can’t help but feel horrible about this. 

You feel as though they’re too laid-back for a person like you. They don’t seem to be putting in the efforts that they should and this is bothering you. 

Then why stop yourself from having a conversation with them about this situation? Let them know that you aren’t okay with this behaviour and if they seem as though they can’t change themselves then make a call. 

They seem disinterested

All of the above mentioned reasons obviously makes you feel as though they’re disinterested in the relationship itself. 

But it’s not enough to just feel so and act according to this. You would have to clean the air and speak about how you actually feel. Let them know that this is how it appears to you, give them the opportunity to clarify as well. Hear them out and then proceed further. 

How is this affecting my relationship?

This might be causing you to doubt your future with this relationship. You need to understand that having no ambition in a relationship can show you the lack of interest or future of your relationship. 

A relationship is a two way street, and once you start noticing that your partner isn’t interested, you start reciprocating the same way. You might also start holding back, just to protect your feelings. You are possibly going to hold a lot of resentment for your partner as well. The more you hold this in without having a conversation, the more you’re going to resent your relationship and your partner. 

Another way in which this could be affecting your relationship, is because you don’t feel secure with them. Suppose they are substance users , and don’t have a career or a goal, then you might be afraid of what their future holds for you and your partner. 

What can you do to resolve this?

The only thing you can do to resolve this, you’d have to start having a conversation about this with your partner. It’s best to keep your assumptions aside and discuss the position of your relationship. Assumptions always push you to assume and think of the worst about your partner. Being unambitious could be a problem to you, but your partner might not be seeing it as one. In order to explain to them why it’s important to you, a conversation is the best. 

Keeping things bottled up only prompts resentment and hatred. It can end things for you before it even begins, your partner might just have another reason for being this way, or they might even not know how they’re being. 


If your partner isn’t ambitious, it can have a multitude of reasons. However, if it translates into his actions, it shows that they’re not interested in the relationship, or they’re not working towards the goal you have for yourself and your relationship. It’s best to speak about this openly instead of waiting till you feel resentment and then eventually turning it into a fight. 

FAQs- my partner isn’t ambitious

How important is ambition in a relationship? 

An ambition is very important in a relationship. It helps to have a partner who has goals and wants to achieve something in life. It actually proves to make your relationship a healthy and solid one. 

Is it bad to date someone with no goals? 

Yes it is bad to date someone with no goals because a complete lack of ambition means you might not get too far in life or the relationship. 

Is lack of ambition a deal breaker? 

Yes, for most people lack of ambition can be a deal breaker. 

Why do I have no motivation? 

Sometimes no motivation stems from the fact that you don’t feel like accepting a challenge. You probably avoid difficult or uncomfortable situations and hence there is a lack of motivation. 

What do you call someone with no ambition? 

Someone with no ambition is called unambitious

What was missing from this post which could have made it better?

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