My Partner Doesn’t Want To Get Married Again (5 ways to solve this problem)

This blog responds to the issue “My Partner Doesn’t Want To Get Married Again” and covers topics like reasons why your partner doesn’t want to get married again, signs that show that and solutions to the problem. 

Why Doesn’t Your Partner Want To Get Married Again?

Your partner probably doesn’t want to get married again because a divorced person has a different perception about marriage as compared to people who have never been married before. 

Your partner might not be in favour of marriage because of its implications or they might simply have a fear of losing their individual identity. 

However, there are a lot of other possibilities why your partner doesn’t want to get married again and they are discussed as following: 

They don’t see the benefits of marrying again

Nowadays, marriage in general makes no sense for both men and women. Over the past years the number of married couples have decreased by 8%, studies suggest. 

Hence, for a person who already has had a failed marriage probably doesn’t see a point in marrying again because they can’t see any benefits of such a thing. They have already experienced the downsides of marriage and now they might want to enjoy their freedom. 

They are afraid of divorce

Your partner might have had a messy divorce before which increases the chances of them developing  a fear of divorce if they get married again. It is likely that as they have gone through it once, they are afraid to experience it again.

Divorce can have adverse effects on a person and if your partner has gone through it you must keep in mind their emotional trauma and give them some time to recover from it. 

They cannot support a new family

Is your partner financially stable enough to start a new family? A person’s financial status has a lot to do with the decisions they make in life and marriage is a substantial one. So this could be the reason your partner is hesitant to get married again

Moreover, if your partner has children from their previous marriage it might be more difficult for them to start a new family and afford any new children.

They haven’t recovered from the previous relationship

Oftentimes the first relationship after divorce is a rebound, people get into affairs to cope up with the pain and trauma they’ve gone through and don’t take the relationship seriously.

Make sure that is not the situation in your case as their feelings could be temporary and this could be a reason why they don’t want to get married again.

If they are still hooked up to their previous relationship, it is best that you give them some time to recover but if they are firm on their decision even after you’ve given them time, it is for you to decide whether you still want to stay in this relationship or not.

They are afraid to lose their freedom

Generally, in the case of men, they have a fear of losing their independence and the thought that someone might restrict their freedom scares them. 

However, this fear plays a part in them not wanting to get married even for the first time, let alone the second or third. 

They believe that marriage would ruin love

Again, their failed marriage might have led them to believe that marriage ruins love. Divorce takes a great toll on a person’s well-being; it’s a long process that involves emotional trauma, self-doubt, and many disagreements.  

Hence, as a result, people end up having a misconception about marriage due to their own bad experience and they start believing it ruins love.

A marriage has no bearing on the collapse of a relationship, in reality. It all comes down to the couple’s initial expectations and their efforts to strengthen their bonds. 

Every relationship needs effort and dedication. They will fade like flowers without water if we do not devote enough time to nurture them.

Their feelings for a new partner are not deep enough

Some relationships are doomed to remain stagnant and never develop to the next level. If both partners agree, it’s not a negative thing. It becomes a problem, though, if your partner does not believe in marriage and you want to start a family.

What Are The Signs That Show Your Partner Doesn’t Want To Get Married Again?

You can determine from your partner’s behavior whether they’re interested in marrying you or not. There are a few significant things in a relationship that show how strong the bond between two partners is. 

Following are some signs that will help you figure out your partner doesn’t want to get married:

They Leave You Out Of Family Events

You shouldn’t expect them to take you along to family reunions or holiday parties in the beginning of your relationship but there comes a time where you feel like attending such events as a couple.

Hence, if you feel left behind constantly you should take note and communicate it to your partner. Twine says, “People who think long-term look forward to introducing you to their family, they want their family and loved ones to get a sense of who you are and if you are right for them.”

They Don’t Snag The Chance To Move In With You

The next step in a relationship after you’ve been together for a while is to move in together but if your partner avoids the chance of moving in with you, you should take note. 

However, you should directly ask your partner what’s on their mind. 

They Keep Missing The Perfect Opportunities To Commit

If you’ve been in this relationship for a while now and your partner knows that you want to get married they should give you a commitment ring on your birthday or Valentine’s Day or New Year’s. 

If they don’t, they’re probably not taking this relationship as seriously as you are as these events give them a good chance to take the relationship to the next level.

When You Ask About The Future, They Make Excuses

A major red flag and sign that your partner doesn’t want to get married is when they start making excuses when it comes to the future of your relationship.

If your partner knows that you want to be together long-term and if they overlook your demand in situations where they can make the most of it, they probably don’t want to get married.

This also shows you both are clearly not on the same page. However, you must be able to communicate what you’re feeling and come to a middle ground.

They Told You So Early On

Did you and your partner have a conversation about marriage at the beginning of your relationship? A lot of times, people are not up for marriage in the early days of dating but eventually end up in a long-term relationship. 

However, some people stick to their decision and choose to stay unmarried. So if they’ve mentioned such a thing earlier, it is unlikely that they’ll suddenly change their mind because you’ve been together for years.

What To Do When Your Partner Doesn’t Want To Get Married Again?

Balance Your Needs

Always remember that effort and compromise is required from both sides of the relationship. Firstly, you need to determine what compromises you’re willing to make on certain problems.

For instance, if your partner doesn’t believe in getting married but is willing to change their decision for you this means they’re committed to you and are ready to compromise.

On the contrary, if they strongly oppose marriage, you might need to consider that the relationship probably won’t work out.

If you both are not on the same page, this is a major sign that you both shouldn’t get married regardless of whether you can agree on what to do.

Process Your Feelings

Prioritise yourself and instead of trying to change your partner’s decision, utilise this time to process your own feelings.

Consider what you want in a spouse and whether or not your current partner is the proper fit. 

Simply because you want various things out of life, your relationship may not be as solid as it appeared when it began. 

While love and attraction are important components of a successful relationship, compatibility in long-term goals is what makes it last.

Hear Their Perspective

You need to understand first that everyone has a different approach to life and your partner can have a different perspective than you.

So in order to learn their perspective you two must have this conversation where you discuss each other’s point of views and then decide whether they’re acceptable for both of you or not.

Listen to your partner empathetically so that they feel that they have that space with you where they can look into their deepest thoughts safely without being judged. 

Understand Their Fear

You should look at all the cons along with the pros once you’ve decided to commit yourself to one person all your life, this includes all the risks as well as not always getting what you want. 

Some people are so frightened of being hurt again that they build up a wall in their lives that prevents them from making commitments. 

They’re afraid of the notion and reject it because it’s too difficult for them right now, or possibly ever. Others, on the other hand, may be tempted but wary of making a commitment. 

This could be due to previous experiences that made them hesitant of entrusting all elements of themselves to others.

Consider Couples Counseling

You don’t have to end your relationship right away if your partner isn’t interested in marriage. There are several things you can both do to improve your relationship’s harmony. 

Waiting indefinitely isn’t a good idea; instead, speaking with someone who knows what they’re talking about can assist bridge the gap. 

Couples counselling may be an option in this case to assist you both get on a better road, whether that path leads to a breakup or a marriage.

If your partner isn’t comfortable in taking therapy with you then you should let them take individual therapy so that they’re able to let their emotions out that they probably cannot do in front of you.

Know When to Leave

Lastly, you might need to realise that if you both can’t come to a middle ground and can’t read a compromise on marriage then it’s best to leave.

Of course this decision will take a huge toll on you as you’ll experience a variety of emotions, like sadness at the loss to anger at the time wasted. 

It may be difficult for your spouse to be upfront and honest about the reasons for their reluctance, but if you can’t understand more, there’s a good possibility you won’t be able to move forward. 

It’s crucial not to get caught up in “what may have been.” When you’ve tried all other alternatives for making things work, it’s best to leave. 

At that time, you may rest assured that you gave it your all. And once you’ve given it your all, there’s no reason to be upset about the circumstance. If you can, try to concentrate on the brighter future that awaits you.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs): My Partner Doesn’t Want To Get Married Again

My boyfriend doesn’t believe in marriage, but it’s something I need. Should I give him an ultimatum?

He will most likely become defensive and leave if you give an ultimatum to him. Instead, start a conversation about marriage and kids, and frame these two topics as important beliefs. 

Even if he doesn’t agree, he can’t deny your desire for the things that make you happy.You’ll have a better grasp of where you stand in your relationship and if you can be compatible in the long run after you’ve both expressed your essential principles. 

It’s not worth continuing the relationship if your values are too dissimilar.

My divorced boyfriend doesn’t want to get married again. What should I do?

You can opt for any of the following three options: 

Keep the relationship going because he might change his mind. People do get married again, after all, and he may decide to do so in the future.

Continue the relationship, knowing that it will not lead to marriage. After all, there’s no rule that says everyone has to marry.

End the relationship and look for someone with whom you’d like to marry. If you are so passionate about the issue, this may be your only option.

References

Cullins, W. (2020). 5 Possible Reasons Your Partner Doesn’t Want To Get Married & What To Do. Retrieved from https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-18716/how-i-accepted-being-with-someone-who-doesnt-believe-in-marriage.html

Steber, C. (2018). 11 Unexpected Signs Your Partner Isn’t Interested In Marriage. Retrieved from https://www.bustle.com/p/11-unexpected-signs-your-partner-isnt-interested-in-marriage-8422914

Cuncic, A. (2021). What to Do If Your Partner Doesn’t Want to Get Married. Retrieved from https://www.verywellmind.com/what-to-do-if-your-partner-doesn-t-want-to-get-married-5191476

Villines, Z. (2013). What to Do If Your Partner Doesn’t Want to Get Married. Retrieved from https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/what-to-do-if-your-partner-doesnt-want-to-get-married-0703137

Maximets, N. (2021). 7 Reasons Why He Doesn’t Want to Get Married Again. Retrieved from https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/he-does-not-want-to-get-married-again/