When your partner doesn’t respect you, it can translate in different ways. It would also be difficult to spot these patterns in your relationship. In this article we look at the common patterns of disrespect, and how to draw healthy boundaries. Along with this we also look at toxic relationships and how to let go and move on from such relationships.
Here are the topics that we would be covering :
- Why doesn’t your partner respect you?
- Signs showing your partner disrespects you
- How to set healthy boundaries?
- What is a toxic relationship?
Why doesn’t your partner respect you?
Your partner might not respect you for the following reasons :
- Your partner is a narcissist
- Your partner isn’t aware about your boundaries
- There hasn’t been enough communication
- Your partner has unresolved issues
- Your partner is insecure
Your partner is a narcissist
A narcissistic partner is one who constantly criticises you and belittles you. They might even speak very highly off themselves and always tend to put others on a level lower.
This might be the reason why we find alot of people dating narcissistic personalities. They portray themselves to be flawless, and perfect for you. It takes a while for most people to understand how toxic this trait can be.
Your partner isn’t aware of your boundaries
This can be an honest mistake in most relationships. But you need to understand that this might be a red flag in case it means that your partner isn’t even paying attention to you.
Even if this is the case, the best and first thing to do is let your partner know. Make sure you make it clear that there are certain boundaries you cannot compromise on. Remember that as much as you love a person, you need to stay true to yourself.
There hasn’t been enough communication
Not giving each other the time or space to understand boundaries is dangerous. We can only true bond and know eachother when you spend time together and communicate your dislikes and likes.
You need to be able to be candid and honest with your partner and your partner has to feel the same. If there are reservations and roadblocks, give each other the time and space to address these issues. They might be traumatic or stressful.
Your partner has unresolved issues
Sometimes people who have gone emotionally abusive relationships might have defective skills of coping.
One of these could be projection, where your partner projects their own issues and shortcomings onto you. This could include calling you names, or insulting you even when there is company.
In such a case you are required to confront your partner. If they agree and decide to work on it, let them know that counselling is a necessity. It’s important to understand that you can be their support system but you can’t provide professional help as well.
Your partner is insecure
Most of the time when we feel insecure about something we tend to project this onto the other person. This can happen through humour or even direct pricks.
Your partner could be insecure and thus has the need to feel like the bigger person. In order to do this, they might be belittling you as well.
Signs showing that your partner disrespects you
- Your partner often cuts you off while speaking, they don’t let you get involved in conversations.
- They don’t include you when it comes to decision making.
- Your partner belittles you in front of others.
- They don’t apologise even when they are in the wrong.
- They have habits that are inconsiderate or insensitive towards you.
- They don’t like prioritising your interests.
- They seem to always blame you for everything wrong in the relationship.
- They don’t respect your boundaries even after you’ve clearly mentioned them.
Its important to remember that these are only few signs. As each relationship is unique the signs might translate differently in your relationship.
But one thing to always remember is that, when you feel small, unloved and ignored, it might be time to take a serious look at your relationship.
One main issue is that disrespect is usually followed by overwhelming love and affection. This usually confuses a person and can make you believe that it was just an honest mistake.
However, patterns are what you should look for. Anything that has been recurring for too long, and that you don’t feel good about, is probably a red flag.
How to set healthy boundaries?
Here’s how you can set healthy boundaries
- Make sure you explain the reason behind a particular boundary.
While it is understandable that you shouldn’t have to explain boundaries, it’s always a good thing when you can be completely transparent with your partner.
It might also help your partner understand the situations that could possibly trigger you, or cause you to feel uncomfortable. Thus, it’s important to understand the emotions and the cause of a particular boundary.
- Make it apparent when you’re uncomfortable
Do not hold your feelings back when someone or your partner has crossed a boundary. It’s very important to stand your ground and show that you don’t appreciate this.
When you do so even with other friends or family, it helps in setting a common boundary in all your circles without having to do this individually with each person.
- Don’t accept disrespect as love
We often make this mistake when it comes to our partner. Sometimes when we want to make a relationship work, we might be tempted to ignore the signs and strive to make it till the end.
This is dangerous not only for your relationship but also for your mental health.
What is a toxic relationship?
A toxic relationship is one that makes you feel disrespected, does not give you the effort and attention you deserve, and that proves to be harmful to your mental, emotional, and physical health.
Problems you might face in a toxic relationship:
- You might feel like you’re constantly struggling
- You might feel drained out
- It can become emotionally painful
- You’ve cut off from your friends
You might feel like you’re constantly struggling
Although relationships aren’t easy, it shouldn’t be extremely difficult everyday. If you feel like you’re fighting everyday to fix something, or make something better, or to just be normal and happy, that’s a sign.
You might feel drained out
You’re probably feeling tired everyday in the relationship. You feel exhausted band nothing seems to make you feel better. This can be because of all the one sided effort from you. Always remember that a relationship is a two-way street.
It can become emotionally painfully
After a point you might feel emotionally low all the time. You might even have moments where you feel like crying. For some people this could translate into anger. If you don’t see the reason why you chose to be with your partner in the first place, then this is the end of your relationship.
You’ve cut off from your friends
If your partner doesn’t like certain friends of yours and you’ve cut off from them. Or even if you partner is generally an introvert and has an issue with you being out and socializing. This is not a healthy relationship to be in.
Keep in mind that you shouldn’t have to let go of your life just for the sake of your relationship.
At the end of the day, remember that you need to be confident and respectful towards yourself. Stand up for yourself when you feel like you’re being let down. And make sure to notice the signs that tell you so as well.
If you have any comments or questions please do drop them in the comment section below.
FAQs- My partner doesn’t respect me
What do you do when your partner doesn’t respect you?
When your partner doesn’t respect you, you should try to re-establish your boundaries. Your partner might demonstrating disrespect if they don’t allow you time or space alone, and expect you to explain everything you’ve done in a day.
Can a relationship work with no respect?
No a relationship cannot work with no respect. Without respect there cannot be real love at all. Respect is far more important than love inna relationship and they both are two sides of the same coin.
What is lack of respect in a relationship?
Lack of respect in a relationship can be when your partner embarrasses you in public. Even if you’re with friends or family they might constantly do this without any hesitation.
What causes disrespect in a relationship?
The causes of disrespect can be vaired however extreme forms of disrespect are physical or verbal abuse, and infidelity.
How do you know when a guy doesn’t care about you?
You can know a guy doesn’t care about you when he disrespects you.