My Partner Doesn’t Respect Me (5 solutions)

This blog post will discuss the statement “My partner doesn’t respect me” and cover topics like signs that your partner doesn’t respect you, reasons why they disrespect you, and things you should do right away when this happens. 

Why Doesn’t Your Partner Respect You?

Your partner likely disrespects you because they may be selfish, reactive, and manipulative. They might be self-centered due to such an upbringing as this is a learned trait and is not innate.

Manipulation is a major red flag in a relationship, if your partner is gaslighting this means they would try to control you and if a problem occurs they would blame you. 

A manipulative partner can never be respectful. If your partner overreacts to even the irrelevant things then it is likely that they will disregard you every chance they get.

Why Is Respect An Important Factor In A Relationship?

Partners often end up disrespecting one another in a relationship without realising how important it is to give respect to each other in order to maintain a healthy relationship. 

Following are some reasons why respect is an important factor in a relationship:

  • Respect helps a person to accept their partner’s beauty as well as their flaws
  • By giving respect, a person becomes patient
  • Respect helps a person to become more tolerant even when things are bad 
  • You take your relationship more seriously when you have respect for your partner
  • Respects leads to true love

People usually don’t respect their partner because they don’t really love them because otherwise, respect is one of the core foundations in a relationship. 

It is important to respect your partner because that is how you make them feel safe and it helps them to express themselves truly in front of you. All in all, respect in a relationship contributes to the wellbeing, safety, and trust of the partner.

What Are The Signsthat Show Disrespect in a Relationship?

People tend to manifest disrespect in different ways and a person should always be able to identify the red flags in a relationship. Hence, following are some signs that show a partner’s disrespect:

They don’t pay attention to you

Listening to your partner and paying attention to them is very important in every relationship. 

If they’re actively listening to you it means that they are fully interested and invested in the relationship. If not, this can become a huge problem in the long run.

For example, if you’re talking about something that matters to you and they don’t participate or show interest in that conversation; they’re not listening. 

They don’t talk to you properly

When your partner doesn’t engage actively with you in conversations and give you a silent treatment you end up getting hurt and feelings of frustration, helplessness and invisibility occur. One shouldn’t be feeling this way when they are in a relationship. 

An example of this includes partners coming back home from work who say that they cannot talk because they are too tired or overloaded with work.

They lie to you

One of the most important signs is lying to your partner. Be it big or small, a lie is a lie and it breaks the trust of the other person and when there is no trust, respect in the relationship is automatically lost. 

This could be a lie as big as cheating or a lie as small as deceiving your partner. In both cases, a person will lose respect for their partner. 

You’re not their priority 

If they don’t prioritize you they won’t take out time to talk to you or change plans for you. Instead, they would change plans with you to go somewhere else. If they don’t respect your time they will never respect you. 

For example, if they cancel their plans with you to meet some other friends. 

They hurt you intentionally 

We often end up hurting our partners accidentally but to hurt them on purpose by saying stuff that you know will make them feel bad or targeting their insecurities during arguments is a major sign of disrespect. 

They don’t take time out for your family and friends

A relationship becomes healthy when you involve each other’s family and friends. It gives the other person a sense of commitment and warmth. Not meeting your partner’s family or friends for the sake of their happiness is also a sign of disrespect.

They don’t respect your boundaries 

Not respecting your partner’s boundaries does not only involve sexual assault, it also involves boundaries that are emotional, physical, or spiritual. If you want to show respect to your partner you must respect their boundaries. 

You’re not getting the support you need from them 

If your partner is not there for you at your lowest moments, they do not respect you. There are certain expectations that naturally develop during a relationship and this is one of them that also determines the level of respect a person has towards their partner. 

They have discourteous personal habits

If your partner has habits that are inconsiderate and bother you, it is a sign of disrespect. 

These habits include the other person leaving the dishes dirty or being unhygienic. 

They flirt with others 

If your partner flirts around with others when you’re there they’re showing a huge sign of disrespect. 

How To Deal With Disrespect 

Live a life above reproach

In almost every relationship that a human being has with other people, mutual respect is the most important aspect for the relationship to succeed. 

A partner wouldn’t love their significant other if they have no respect for each other, respect for what they do for a living, and for what their values are. 

As such, it is almost impossible for an individual to expect people to respect them, if they have no respect for others in the first place. 

Living a life with your utmost effort to become the best version of yourself is the best way to live above reproach. Because when a person improves the faults in themselves, others would not be able to find any fault in them or blame them. 

That is the essence of living above reproach. If such a person is ever blamed for something, then that blame could never be proven against them, because they would not have committed that act in the first place. 

Coming to such personal growth requires a person to take up an attitude that would push them to minimize behavior that would degrade or dishonor another human being. 

Hence, showing others respect is a very vital part of becoming the best version of yourself. It takes a whole lot of commitment and honesty with our own selves to come to such a point, but only then will a person be worthy of, and be able to earn, the respect of the society that they live in.

Practice equanimity

Composure, regardless of the scenario, stands remarkable and helps in making better decisions. While confronting ill-mannered people, one should always remain calm and not let any discourteous statement get to their head.

Even if there seems to be no resolution to the case/argument at hand, it is essentially valuable to preserve your energy and let go of the thoughts in your head.

Disengaging is equally important as engaging in any discussion to avoid unnecessary disdain. It is human nature to go through all sets of emotions through the course of life but it is up to each respective individual whether they want to keep their cool or burst out of those emotions. 

The concept of Equanimity comes handy if you practice it by trying to analyze situations with the benefit of space. 

Be kind and ask questions

Listening is a key component in all relations, even the people who are disrespectful want to be heard more than anything else. To get to the root cause of the disrespect, one must open up possibilities of the circumstances that could have led to this state. 

And the best way to that is asking questions to yourself and at the same time be open to the other person’s point of view.

Make them feel like you are here for them as much as you are for yourself. Both the voices should equally matter and once the other party realizes that they are being heard, it will eventually put them in a soft spot where they will be willing to let go of the disrespect and anger. 

Ask questions instead of imposing your thoughts in statements which will only worsen the case, be kind even if it seems difficult or unjust, and try extracting an outcome which is beneficial to both the parties. 

Be the bigger person if need be, it won’t take a toll on you but will definitely have a good impact on the person being disrespectful.

Take the initiative

Avoiding confrontations with people you are not fond of takes a special tenacity and consideration. It is always better to take the initiative of resolving the issues that are developing between you and the person being disrespectful, instead of waiting for the bad faith to grow to a point, it becomes too noxious. 

Be at the front foot, muster up the courage and ask the other party for a meet up where the issues can be rationally addressed. 

This will not only make the other person think about where they are wrong but will also develop a mutual respect between the two people since they are taking out time to settle the unease between them. 

And at the time of confrontation, welcome their opinion, be ambiguous and do not be passive aggressive. 

When two parties take time out for each other to resolve the matters among them, the bond gets strengthened as open communication leads to healthy relations. Misunderstandings fade away and positivity prevails through reasonable dialogue.

Practice empathy

No person in this world is born and lives perfectly. The majority of the people aren’t really bad people, they’re normal people having bad days or going through a rough patch in their lives. 

When a certain rude or disrespectful person comes across, one should try to understand their perspective, and try to apply some empathy to the situation. 

It has been seen in schools that bullies are mostly children who face abusive behaviors at home or witness such abuse as a third person. 

Just like a wounded animal lashes out when it is hurt, humans, with their animal instincts, lash out at their fellow human beings when they are hurt psychologically, and the best medicine for that would be kindness and empathy. 

The best thing that one can do when faced with someone who is being rude to you, is to not let it affect you too much nor take it as a personal insult, so that you don’t continue this cycle of disrespect and forgive the person who is being disrespectful to you. 

Saying some kind words to them or trying to talk to them about why they are showing such behavior might even have a positive impact on said person. 

It most possibly can be the thing that could help them come out of their own cycle of hatred and rudeness. As such, a little selfless kindness when applied alongside empathy, can mend even the most rigid of hearts.

Conclusion

This blog addressed the problem, “My partner doesn’t respect me.” We understood why partners tend to disrespect one another in a relationship. We looked into the reasons why they end up disrespecting each other. Lastly, ways were explored in which a person can deal with someone who doesn’t respect them. 

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs): My partner doesn’t respect me. 

How do I deal with the feeling that my boyfriend doesn’t respect my feelings or opinions?

You need to figure out the extent to which your boyfriend does not respect your feelings or opinions and whether it is acceptable for you or not. 

If the problem occurs oftenly, you need to make a decision for yourself. If you still think ending the relationship is not an option then talk it out. 

Talking to your partner and voicing your concerns is essential to come to a solution of the problem. If the problem occurs even after you have talked to them then you must make the right decision for yourself. It is important to know that respect is a core foundation of a relationship and every person should earn the respect they deserve so choose wisely. 

How do you live with a selfish husband?

If your husband doesn’t care about you and doesn’t pay attention to you then he is not the right person for you. If a relationship is not making you happy you shouldn’t be in it. 

One thing you can do is talk to them about the issue you are facing but if things don’t change even after that you may need to let go of that person. 

References

S.L. Finlay. (2020). 10 Signs of Disrespect You Shouldn’t Allow in Your Relationship. Retrieved from https://medium.com/aha-intimate/10-signs-of-disrespect-you-shouldnt-allow-in-your-relationship-2765336765bd

Schwartz, S. (2019). Husband Doesn’t Respect You? (7 Things You Should Do Right Away). Retrieved from https://hernorm.com/husband-doesnt-respect-me/

Johnson, E.B. (2019). How to deal with disrespect the right way. Retrieved from https://medium.com/lady-vivra/dealing-with-disrespect-e1630c320ae8

Howard, L. & Steber, C. (2021). 9 Signs Your Partner Doesn’t Respect You Enough. Retrieved from https://www.bustle.com/wellness/9-signs-your-partner-doesnt-respect-you-enough-7664412

Brown, A. (2021). Signs Of Disrespect In Marriage: When To Draw The Line. Retrieved from https://www.regain.us/advice/marriage/20-signs-of-disrespect-in-marriage-when-to-draw-the-line/

Archer, S. (2017). How do I deal with the feeling that my boyfriend doesn’t respect my feelings or opinions? Retrieved from 

https://www.7cups.com/qa-relationship-stress-43/how-do-i-deal-with-the-feeling-that-my-boyfriend-doesnt-respect-my-feelings-or-opinions-6995/

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