My Partner Can’t Support Me Emotionally

In a relationship, both partners should support each other holistically. In this article, we will discuss why your partner can’t support you emotionally and what can be done about the same. 

Why can’t your partner support you emotionally?

You should be able to rely on your significant other for all kinds of support, but sometimes that may not happen and you’re left with frustration. Here are some reasons why your partner can’t support you emotionally.

  • Their emotional intelligence is low
  • They support you in their own way
  • They are trying to fix things 
  • They do not take your feelings seriously 
  • They process difficult situations differently than you
  • They do not feel emotionally supported by you
  • Their instinct stems from past experiences
  • They don’t know what you need
  • They seem emotionally distant but are not
  • There was a lack of emotional support in their childhood
  • They do not know what to do

How do I get emotional support from my partner?

When you feel like you are not getting emotional support from your partner, here’s what you can do.

  • Ask them to be vulnerable with you
  • Share your feelings and invite them to share theirs 
  • Exchange thoughtful gifts as a couple
  • Make it a point to say nice things to each other once a day
  • Have disagreements without getting vile
  • Vocalise your love for each other

How do you deal with an emotionless partner?

Dealing with an emotionless partner is never easy. Here are some ways that may help them open up to you. 

  • Don’t force them to be emotional with you
  • Ensure they know that they feel safe with you
  • Invite them to share things with you in non-judgemental way
  • Accept that there may be reasons why they are unemotional
  • Be aware of how you make them feel
  • Learn to accept them for who they are

How do I give myself emotional support?

When reaching out to your partner for emotional support doesn’t work, here is how you can be your own confidant. 

  • Be aware of your emotions by not getting overwhelmed by them
  • Maintain healthy boundaries in all your relationships without any guilt
  • Prioritise your own well-being above everything else
  • Cultivate a healthy support system within your friends and family
  • Seek therapy for a holistic balance 

Many couples find it difficult to meet their partner’s emotional requirements. Often, it isn’t motivated by malice, but rather by a lack of understanding.

In a relationship, having mental and emotional support fosters cohesiveness among the partners. It represents the couples’ level of connection, affection, and care, as well as their long term stability.

When there isn’t enough support, or when it isn’t constant, the relationship is at risk of failing.

When your partner disappoints you, it’s a good idea to let them know so they may try to make things right. If your partner isn’t conscious of their flaws, they can’t be emotionally supportive.

Why can’t your partner support you emotionally?

Their emotional intelligence is low

Let’s face it; some people are just not equipped to handle emotions in a mature manner. They cower and run away from it because it may seem all too overwhelming for them. 

Maybe your partner can’t support you emotionally because they lack the emotional intelligence for it. 

Partners who lack emotional intelligence have a tendency to blame others, avoid accepting personal responsibility and want everything to go their way. Encourage them to feel sympathy for you. 

It is the first step towards developing empathy and relatively easier to do for a partner who is emotionally blind.

They support you in their own way

Emotional support isn’t just needed while you’re going through a difficult time; it’s also something you might want to get when you’re working toward a goal or desire.

Could it be that your partner supports you in other ways and you are blinded to that because they lacked in one particular area? 

If you think your partner can’t support you emotionally, it may help to ponder over and acknowledge the things they have done for you. 

They are trying to fix things 

When you ask for help, a less emotionally expressive partner may respond by offering solutions to the problem you’re dealing with.

This, in their opinion, will assist you in overcoming the problem and feeling better about it. They sincerely feel that this is the best strategy to help you.

Your partner can’t support you emotionally, if they are trying to come up with solutions to solve the problem. Gently let them know that you do not require their assistance in resolving the matter; you only want them to listen. 

They do not take your feelings seriously 

It may appear that your partner is attempting to invalidate how you are feeling if they don’t take your concerns seriously or merely want to remedy them.

They may downplay the issues you’re dealing with by failing to recognise how significant things are to you. It’s critical to let them know that your sentiments are valid whenever you’re experiencing them.

Your partner can’t support you emotionally because they do not share your viewpoint or understand why you are behaving the way you are. 

Let them in to see your perspective and vulnerability, and hopefully they will do better the next time around. 

They process difficult situations differently than you

People exhibit emotion in a variety of ways, as well as how they respond to emotion.

Some people have a sombre demeanour. They are unwilling to express their feelings. Others are so compassionate and empathetic that their deepest thoughts and emotions are visible on their faces or in their nonverbal cues.

Asking your partner to respond to you in a certain manner like you may respond to their cry for help is a recipe for disaster.

Your partner can’t support you emotionally because you want them to do so in the same way that you would in this scenario.

They do not feel emotionally supported by you

Setting expectations for emotional support by demonstrating is a smart approach to initiate.

If you isolate yourself from your partner and fail to help them, you’ll just set the precedent for them to emulate. In the long term, this will only make matters worse.

Your partner can’t support you emotionally, if they feel neglected by you in their times of need. 

When you need help, you should convey your needs. Similarly,  when your partner is struggling with a difficult circumstance, you should ask them what they need.

Their instinct stems from past experiences

Your partner’s instincts about how to behave when you require emotional support are likely to be based on their previous experiences and relationships. This is not an instinct that can be easily modified.

Perhaps they believe that giving you time and space to deal with your problems on your own is the best strategy, or they cope by acting as if everything is okay.

Your partner can’t support you emotionally if they are stuck in their ways. 

Maintaining communication is important to ensure that they understand what you want from them and to thank them when they do support you in that way.

They don’t know what you need

Always keep in mind that your partner can’t read your thoughts. They have no idea what you require in a certain circumstance.

Consider that offering emotional support may not come easy to your partner before you dismiss them as indifferent or insensitive.

If they don’t have the inherent ability to be present with their feelings, your partner can’t support you emotionally. 

You must express how you are feeling as well as what you would like them to do for you. It’s the quickest and most convenient method to obtain the support you want and need.

They seem emotionally distant but are not

If you believe that your partner can’t support you emotionally, go ahead and seek it out on your own. Just make it obvious to them that it’s about a personal problem you’re facing.

If you need a hug, approach them and embrace them, or just ask if you may talk to them. 

The possibility is that they may seem emotionally distant but are not. When you see their help, it may make them happy that they were able to make you feel good.

There was a lack of emotional support in their childhood

Men and women in adult relationships are likely to be affected by a lack of emotional support in childhood. It’s very likely that your partner suffers from low self-esteem if they didn’t receive appropriate emotional support as a youngster. 

If this were indeed the case, providing emotional support to others (including you) might prove to be quite difficult.

Your partner can’t support you emotionally when they themselves are utterly unfamiliar with the idea of emotional support.

They do not know what to do

When someone else is openly expressing their feelings, these individuals have a hard time.

Your partner is unlikely to be able to provide emotional support since they may not fully understand what to do or say when you are in distress.It doesn’t mean you have to accept a refusal to put in more effort.

Help your partner understand what you require since they are likely to want to help you in any way they can.

Conclusion: 

While we want our partners to support us, we must manage our own emotions as mature adults.

If you’re feeling particularly agitated, consider how you might assess your situation before addressing your partner.

In order to stay connected in a romantic relationship, you must learn how to ask for help and how to be an emotionally supportive partner yourself.

Whatever activity helps you de-escalate your tumultuous emotions, do it. You’ll be in a better position to seek the help you need from your partner once you’ve calmed down.

FAQs: My partner can’t support me emotionally 

Should your partner support you emotionally?

Emotional support is essentially about giving love, encouragement, sense of security, understanding, and confidence to someone in a relationship. It’s integral in stressful situations or despair seeing as it helps stabilise the relationship and provide both partners a healthy premise.

What is emotional neglect in a relationship?

Emotional neglect is characterised by a lack of action on the part of one partner in a relationship, and it can be difficult to spot. Lack of emotional support and failure to satisfy your partner’s needs are both signs of emotional neglect in a relationship.

Can a relationship survive without emotional intimacy?

A romantic relationship without emotional connection is unsustainable in the long run. You may experience a lack of safety, love, support, and general connection if emotional intimacy is absent, and it will most likely impair the physical connection in a romantic relationship.

References: 

https://www.bustle.com/wellness/signs-your-partner-isnt-as-supportive-in-your-relationship-as-they-should-be
https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/emotional-support

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