My Partner Can’t Make Decisions (5 Key reasons)
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The Optimistminds editorial team is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health professionals. Each article is written by a team member with exposure to and experience in the subject matter. The article then gets reviewed by a more senior editorial member. This is someone with extensive knowledge of the…
Many people struggle with making decisions. In this article we will take a look at the factors that cause a person to be indecisive.
Why can’t your partner make decisions?
People struggle to make decisions all the time, some more than others. There could be countless reasons why your partner can’t make decisions. Let us take a look at a few of them.
- They fear making the wrong decision
- They strive for perfection
- They hate failing
- They are overthinkers
- They feel guilty
- They can’t see the bigger picture
- They lack confidence
- They want to optimise every decision
- Things have not gone right in the past for them
- They have Dependent Personality Disorder
How do you deal with an indecisive person?
The best way to deal with an indecisive person is to give them the right tools to make their decisions. Here are some that may help.
- Help them use a decision-making tool
- Ask them to set reasonable deadlines for making decisions
- They should strive to limit your choices to just two
- They should avoid being concerned about others
- They can seek guidance from someone they can rely on
How do you conquer indecisiveness?
Not being able to make decisions can cause minute irritations and major issues in life. Here are some ways a person can conquer indecisiveness once and for all.
- Please take your time.
- Consider the big picture.
- Compromise with the idea of perfection
- Allow yourself to let go of bad decisions.
- Visualise prospective outcomes
How do you make a decision when you can’t decide?
We’ve all at the crossroads of making decisions that may seem impossible. Here’s what you can do to make those tough decisions a little easier.
- Look past the present.
- Compare and contrast a “head” and a “heart” decision.
- Consider how you would cope if you were disappointed.
- Others’ impact and influence should be respected.
- Stick to what you’re familiar with.
Dealing with indecision is like getting mired in the mud. Being indecisive isn’t merely a natural personality attribute; it’s usually a sign that things aren’t quite right.
If one gives it enough time and communicates all of their thoughts and feelings, they may come to a choice. The issue is that many people have no idea what they’re experiencing or thinking.
Indecision, however, can sometimes become a decision by default. If your partner refuses to make a decision, they relinquish their power of choice.
Making decisions might be tough, but like any other activity, it can be improved with practice.
Why can’t your partner make decisions?
They fear making the wrong decision
Decidophobia is the dread of making the wrong decision. When there are too many options, it can lead to uncertainty and a high level of reliance on others to make decisions. Such people frequently lack control over the course of their lives.
If your partner is terrified of what will happen if they don’t make the appropriate decision, they will be unable to make decisions. As a result, they may try to avoid making any decisions at all.
Your partner can’t make decisions for the fear of making the wrong ones.
They strive for perfection
Perfectionism can lead to indecisiveness, since some people strive to make the best decision possible. Since every decision is a weighted average of advantages and disadvantages, no option can be perfect.
For perfectionists, however, such inconsistencies just won’t do. As a result, making a decision for them is a meticulous procedure in which they must precisely follow each step.
Your partner can’t make decisions if they need every outcome of that choice to be perfect.
They hate failing
Fear of failing is the most typical reason for indecisiveness. Making a decision implies that your spouse may be wrong, and no one likes being wrong.
Failure has no fear in a vacuum. Everyone would be far more bold if we could fail in a world with no witnesses and no consequences. The true worry is the fallout, namely humiliation and remorse.
Your partner can’t make a decision because the very thought of failing cripples them.
They are overthinkers
We’re all prone to pondering a problem excessively or for an extended period of time. Overthinking increases negative self-talk, impaired judgement, and poor decision-making, as well as compromises general health and well-being.
If your partner is stuck in cyclical ideas or analytical paralysis, they can’t make a decision. They may be unable to distinguish between what they know for certain based on the fear fiction they have created in their minds.
This is not only a big drain on their energy, but it can also obstruct their capacity to address problems effectively in the long run.
They feel guilty
Choices elicit guilt because people need to pick what they want, which may or may not be the same as what a loved one desires.
Your partner may know exactly what they want to do, but then get swayed by what other people want. Your partner can’t make decisions because they are worried about the opinions of others.
They would know exactly what they want if other individuals aren’t a factor. They should learn to bear guilt so that they are not avoiding it by pleasing others.
They can’t see the bigger picture
When people don’t know what to do next, it’s usually because they’ve lost sight of the bigger picture that could guide them towards the proper direction.
It may seem like your partner can’t make decisions because they find it difficult to see where they want to be. Recognising their ultimate vision will make it much easier for them to navigate those choices that lead them to it.
Having long-term goals and then taking the path to it can help nullify the indecision.
They lack confidence
It’s likely that your partner can’t make decisions because they doubt their own ability to think for themselves, believing that others are better equipped to make the best decision for them.
When this is the case, they delegate little and significant decisions to others in order to gain confidence in their choices. The issue with this is that it cedes control to others.
If your partner entrusted decision-making to you or others, it means they don’t trust themselves to make the right choices.
They want to optimise every decision
Your partner may attempt to maximise every decision if they have something called lack mentality. In the bid to multitask as much as possible, every decision is weighed and calculated dearly to save time, save money and calories.
What they actually desire becomes secondary or is not even taken into account.
The need to optimise every decision makes it seem like your partner can’t make decisions at all.
Things have not gone right in the past for them
The worry of doing something that they may come to regret later is why your partner can’t make decisions. It’s a direct result of having a vivid imagination for all the things that could go wrong, as well as previous experiences to back it up.
Your partner may instinctively conjure up dreadful scenarios and find it difficult to bear. They most likely believe they will never be able to recover from a wrong decision.
As a result, they try everything possible to put a stop to the pain (before it has even happened). The fear of possible regret has stopped them right in their tracks.
They have Dependent Personality Disorder
Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD) is characterised by dependent, docile, and clingy conduct, as well as a fear of separation.
Other prevalent symptoms of this personality disorder include the inability to make decisions on their own, even simple ones like what to wear, without the help and comfort of others.
Your partner can’t make decisions if they have DPD. The best way to go about this is to get professional help to manage the disorder.
Conclusion:
Whether it’s sadness, anxiety, obsessive tendencies, or a one-time traumatic event that causes ambivalence and retreat, insight into why your partner can’t make decisions is always beneficial.
Finding the source of the issue is the first step toward giving your partner the support they need. When problems are understood or resolved, optimism, motivation, and the will to take action return.
FAQs: My partner can’t make decisions
What is wrong with someone who can’t make decisions?
Aboulomania is a mental illness characterised by a person’s compulsive indecisiveness. It is often linked to anxiety, stress, sadness, and mental suffering. This can make it difficult for a person to operate socially.
Who should make decisions in a relationship?
Each partner must consider their significant other when making decisions in order to preserve a healthy relationship. There are few decisions that an individual should make fully on their own, but they can also actively make decisions together or at least take the advice of their partner before they decide.
Why is being indecisive bad?
If one spends too much time thinking about things rather than making decisions, they will miss out on life. Indecisiveness just wastes opportunity and time. It’s wise to quit procrastinating and start acting. People, however, should make their own choices and do what feels right for them.
However, indecision isn’t always a bad thing. When you pause for a moment, you get crucial time to consider the situation. The most essential thing is to avoid allowing indecision to keep you stranded indefinitely.
References:
https://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/dependent-personality-disorder
https://www.quora.com/Is-being-indecisive-and-a-perfectionist-a-huge-problem-If-so-how-do-I-fix-it
