My Partner Can’t Kiss(Top 3 tips)

In this article we’re going to discuss the potential barriers behind why your partner can’t kiss and what you can do to help them overcome these obstacles. 

Why can’t your partner kiss?

Kissing is an important part of romance, especially at the infancy of a relationship. Let’s delve into the reasons why your partner can’t kiss.

  • They are inexperienced
  • They are in over their head 
  • They carry baggage from the past
  • They have anxiety about it 
  • Their style of kissing is not suited to yours
  • They don’t like kissing you 
  • They don’t like kissing at all 
  • They are not in the mood
  • They want more 
  • They’re just not into you

What makes someone a bad kisser?

This can differ from person to person, but here are few general rules to distinguish a good kisser from a bad one: 

  • They slobber all over you 
  • Excessive biting 
  • There is no passion in their kissing

How can you make your partner kiss better? 

Here are some of the things you can try to make your partner kiss better: 

  • Talk it out and tell them what’s not working for you
  • Try new techniques with them
  • Show them how you like to be kissed

What makes a great kiss?

There are many things that make a stellar kiss. Here are a few: 

  • Consent
  • Being aware of each other’s body language
  • Being open to different techniques

Kissing boosts your happy hormones by igniting the pleasure centres of the brain. However, the art of kissing does not come naturally to everyone.

 It’s a skill like most that is learnt over time and may work differently for different people.

While everyone has their own kissing technique, if you’re not feeling it, there are chances that your partner hasn’t got theirs right. 

There’s no need to worry though because it can evolve to an act of intimacy that you both grow to enjoy.

Why can’t your partner kiss?

They are inexperienced

The reason why your partner can’t kiss could be as simple as their lack of experience in the department. 

If this is the first time they are kissing someone, they may have learnt how to kiss by watching it on screen or reading about it without the practical experience. 

If they have kissed people before, but have been in a few relationships, they may have picked up their kissing style from previous partners and decided to stick with it. 

The good news is that it can definitely get better to suit your liking and theirs by discussing it. 

Let them know what works for you and find out what works for them.

They are in over their head 

Not everyone is a self-proclaimed good kisser. If your partner is an overthinker, it may be why they can’t kiss. 

Kissing is enjoyed when you surrender to the moment entirely and go with the flow. Continuously thinking about the act rather than actually enjoying it can be holding them back. 

This can be avoided by making your partner feel as comfortable as possible to get them into the mood. 

Once they know that there is nothing to worry about, it will help them relax and enjoy kissing you.

They carry baggage from the past

If your partner carries emotional baggage from their past relationships, it could be why they can’t kiss. 

Right from being told condescendingly that they are bad kissers, or even if they 

They have anxiety about it 

Kissing can be nerve-wracking in a new relationship. If your partner deals with anxiety, it could be why they can’t kiss.

There may be a spark between the two of you, but when it comes down to getting to it, it fizzles out because they are stressed about it.

If someone is anxious about kissing, it’s best to go slow and take your time to be intimate with them. 

Their style of kissing is not suited to yours

Not everyone’s style of kissing is going to be suited to yours. What turns someone on may not work on you. This could be why you think your partner can’t kiss. 

Each person is different and maybe your partner’s previous partner liked how they kiss, but you don’t. 

In this case, you should tell them what it is about their style of kissing you specifically don’t like. 

Be honest but not brutal in your feedback. Remember, this is something that can definitely be fixed. 

They don’t like kissing you 

If your partner doesn’t like kissing you, it may be the reason why they can’t kiss. 

Maybe it’s your breath or your technique that is putting them off, and they can’t bring themselves to tell you. 

This could be because they don’t want to hurt your feelings or find it awkward to talk about it. Kissing in this case becomes an act they have to endure and nobody wants that.

It’s best to open the lines of communication going forward for a great experience for both. 

They don’t like kissing at all 

It may shock you at first, but there are a lot of people that don’t like kissing at all. If your partner is one of those, it is likely why they can’t kiss. 

Some people find it gross, others are just indifferent to it in a way that it doesn’t do anything for them.

This may sound like a bummer, especially if you are someone that finds great pleasure in kissing, but there are plenty alternatives to explore. 

Get to know what you both like and do that instead. You may be pleasantly surprised.

They are not in the mood

Consent is everything. Make sure you unequivocally know that they want to kiss you.

You can try your best to set the mood and prepare yourself with breath mints and the like all you want, but if your partner is not up for kissing, it just won’t work. 

Them not being in the mood could be why they can’t kiss. In fact, the harder you try, the more it may backfire. 

It’s important to read the signs. Body language is a big indicator and you will be able to tell whether they are feeling it or not. 

They want more 

It’s quite possible that your partner wants to get straight to sex and kissing seems like a pointless task to linger on. This could be why they can’t kiss or rather do not want to.

There may be a number of reasons for this. Maybe they find kissing too intimate or cumbersome for their liking. 

For some people, kissing may not be as passionate as it is for you. It may just be a form of foreplay that they need to get through to get to the main act. 

If they seem to be rushing to get done with it, you know.

They’re just not into you

Does your partner look bored while kissing you? Do they restrict themselves to quick pecks or smooches?

These could be signs that they are not into you and if this is true, it makes sense that they can’t kiss. 

Losing a sense of ease and showing less enthusiasm while kissing should tell you enough to at least have a conversation about it. 

Be upfront and ask them. You have every right to know. 


Not being able to kiss is not permanent, neither should it be a difficult subject to breach. With some gentle nudging in the right direction, this could be a teachable moment and can even evolve to something great. Here’s hoping!

FAQs: My partner can’t kiss 

Is it normal for your partner not to kiss you?

It is completely normal to stop kissing in a relationship as much as you did when you first started dating. 

It doesn’t mean that your partner is bored with you or any less into you. Unless they seem uninterested in almost any type of intimacy, there is nothing to be worried about.

What does it mean when couples don’t kiss?

If partners in a long-term relationship don’t kiss that often, it could be because they don’t really have to. 

What do you do when your partner is bad at kissing?

There are only three things you can do in this situation. Walk away from the relationship, have a conversation about it or help nudge the kissing in the right direction. 

Can a relationship work without kissing?

Kissing is not the only act of intimacy. Not every couple feels so passionate about sharing a kiss. Your relationship can definitely work, if you want it to.

Is kissing necessary in a relationship?

Sure kissing can bring a couple closer together. It is how many partners bond, but is it necessary in a relationship? No. Whatever works for everyone involved is what’s important. 

How do I teach my partner to kiss?

Lead the way with your lips, literally. Show them what you like and explore different techniques together. Use words where direction fails. Eventually you will get there. 


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