My Partner Can’t Afford To Buy Me Out (What to do next)
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OptimistMinds
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The Optimistminds editorial team is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health professionals. Each article is written by a team member with exposure to and experience in the subject matter. The article then gets reviewed by a more senior editorial member. This is someone with extensive knowledge of the subject matter and highly cited published material.
In this brief article we will talk about why your partner can’t buy you out and what you can do to deal with the unfortunate situation.
Why can’t your partner afford to buy you out?
While it may not seem like a big deal on the surface, it’s important to be on the same page with your partner when it comes to finances. If you want to sustain the relationship, the sooner you have that conversation with your partner, the better.
- They can’t retain a job for too long
- They are spendthrifts
- They have loans to repay
- They are living from paycheck to paycheck
- They are bogged down by responsibilities
- They have addictions
- They have expensive tastes
- They do not want to offer support
- They are saving up for a rainy day
- They are looking for financial assistance
What do you do when your partner is financially unstable?
Here are some things you can do when your partner is financially unstable.
- Remind yourself that your partner is not necessarily irresponsible
- Come up with alternatives that can work for the both of you
- Stay true to yourself, but be open to compromise
- Contribute towards shared goals
- Try to cut unnecessary expenses out
- Lead by example
How do you handle finances in a relationship?
- Set some money aside together as a couple
- Keep your own finances separate
- Split shared bills equitably
- Live within your means
How do you know if your partner is financially stable?
- They are organised about money and purchases.
- They are careful about not leaving overdrafts
- They are willing to discuss their finances with you
- Their financial goals are set in motion
When it comes to relationships, money can be a sore spot, if you let it. Given that a bad financial situation between partners has evidence to be cause for separation, it is best to get it sorted and out of the way.
However, when seeking a romantic partnership, people rarely get around to having this tough conversation. This is probably why you have to now deal with the fact that your partner can’t buy you out.
There may be many reasons for this. Let’s take a look into what they might be.
Why can’t your partner afford to buy you out?
They can’t retain a job for too long
Does your partner move around from job to job, seemingly not being able to hold one to one for too long?
Looking into why that may be. Some people can be the least bit interested in any hard work, let alone being focused on holding a job.
If your partner is one of those people, it makes sense that their finances are all over the place and why they can’t afford to buy you out.
Getting their act together and working for their living is not only important for the money that it will give them, but to teach them some sort of responsibility.
They are spendthrifts
We all indulge in retail therapy every now and again, but some people can go overboard with their spending habits.
Expenses almost too close to the income is a disaster nearing the doorstep and it needs to be reined in right away.
If your partner is a spendthrift, it may be why they can’t afford to buy you out. They are spending more money than they should.
They have loans to repay
Taking loans sometimes is inevitable and repaying them with the added interest is a difficult situation to be in.
Maybe your partner can’t afford to buy you out because they have heavy debts to clear.
This may take a while to overcome and a little empathy may go a long way, if this is indeed their plight.
They are living from paycheck to paycheck
Having a job does not always signal that everything is okay on the financial front of an individual. It is safe to assume that low-level jobs come with low pay.
Your partner can’t afford to buy you out if they are barely getting by from month to the next on the salary that they are receiving. Could it be that they work multiple jobs and it still is not enough?
Have a conversation with them, assess their financial situation and together maybe you can come up with a plan to make things better.
They are bogged down by responsibilities
If a person has responsibilities like caring for sick parents, looking after children or running a business, their finances are going to be focused on those things.
Your partner can’t buy afford to you out if they are financially frantic and occupied with fulfilling their obligations.
They are walking a tightrope, especially if their finances are wearing thin.
They have addictions
One of the biggest hits to financial stability is having an addiction. If your partner is an addict, you already know where their money is being spent.
Such a person definitely needs help to get back on their feet before they can even begin to come out of the monetary hole they have dug themselves in.
Your partner can’t afford to buy you out if they are knee-deep in addictions because they are already probably in debt because of it.
They have expensive tastes
Having expensive tastes can come from one of two things: One, this person is used to a certain lifestyle or two, they are trying to elevate themselves to that lifestyle.
Whatever the reason behind it may be, it can be detrimental to their finances.
If your partner is more concerned with keeping up appearances and enjoying the finer things in life, they can’t afford to buy you out.
They do not want to offer support
If your partner does not want to financially support you, it is obvious why they can’t afford to or rather will not buy you out.
This can be frustrating, especially if you have responsibilities that you need to shoulder without any other help.
A partner that will not offer monetary support at all while expecting you to put in the emotional and financial labour is not worth having around.
They are saving up for a rainy day
While it is prudent to have some savings and investments, some people get so caught up in saving up for a rainy day that they forget to live in the present.
It may be that your partner can’t afford to buy you out because they are too focused on storing money away for the future.
Make them see how this excessive fear of what could happen is affecting both of you right now.
But if they are saving up for something they have eyes on, for instance to buy a house, there may be better ways to see it into fruition. Have the conversation and see where it leads.
They are looking for financial assistance
Your partner can’t afford to buy you out if they themselves are looking for financial assistance. They may be seeking monetary help from you and others.
Expectations will need to take a backseat here till they can get back on their own feet.
Once they are financially sound, you can ask them to make their contributions wherever required.
Conclusion:
Follies with money in the hope of romance should and can easily be avoided. Finding common financial ground is pivotal to cultivate a healthy relationship.
This can save both partners from potential risk of heartbreak because of money problems. Set the standard for the same outlook on finance, savings, spending habits as well as investments.
FAQ: My partner can’t afford to buy me out
What is a financial bully?
A financial bully is someone that holds power and control over another. Such a person is intimidating when it comes to matters of finance. These people may be financially bullying someone to get out of their own money problems. A bad financial decision may have then led them here.
Should 50/50 relationships be financed?
According to some experts, it is not necessary that the 50/50 relationships should be financed. If one partner is earning significantly more than the other, but their expenses are quite similar, the split can be closer.
However, partners should aim to be more equitable when it comes to their finances based on their income.
Who should pay the bills in a relationship?
There needs to be a fair system that works for the people in the relationship.
Some partners contribute to a joint account and have their household bills divided through that sum, For others, division of the bills itself seems to work.
Whichever way you go, being equitable should be the approach to pay the bills in a relationship.
Can money break up a relationship?
Unfortunately, yes money can break up a relationship. There is a lot of evidence of romantic partnerships falling out because of it. A financial imbalance in relationships often causes people to separate and can even result in divorce in a marriage.
Dealing with money problems tend to magnify or reduce the levels of power and trust between couples.
Should one person pay for everything in a relationship?
No, absolutely not. There is no reason why one person ‘should’ pay for everything in a relationship. Partners need to work out what works best for them without the financial burden lying on one person’s shoulder alone.
Relationships work when there is balance and compromise. In order for things to run smoothly, everything — including money — needs to be taken into account.
Should your partner tell you how much they have?
No one can make anyone tell you anything, but it is essential to have that honesty and transparency in a relationship. Your partner should want to tell you how much they have.
When one partner spends money or has debt without telling the other, it can become a source of conflict and can be looked at as a breach of trust.
On the other hand, being truthful about each other’s financial situation and spending habits is vital to a healthy relationship.
References:
https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-deal-with-a-partner-who-cant-afford-to-do-anything-for-you
