My husband hit me, what should I do?

This article will show what you should do if your husband has hit you. It will explain why you shouldn’t take it, even if it just happened once, and what are the procedures to do when it happens.

My husband hit me, what should I do? 

If your husband hits you, even if it is the first time after long years of marriage, here are some things you should do.

Start to look at your relationship from a different perspective

If your husband hit you, even if it has never happened before, you should still start to consider that you are a part of an abusive relationship. It may be difficult to get in touch with that idea. You may feel that a relationship is only abusive when hitting turns into a habit.

You may even begin to create some excuses as to why they hit you. Maybe they were nervous, they drank too much, or they were dealing with too much pressure. 

But if at any moment your husband decided to hit you, it implies that they understood that it is okay to treat you in that way and that they think they have such power over you that they can do anything they wish with you, even harm you.

And this is a clear sign of an abusive relationship. So as it happens, it may be important to look for signs of abuse, not only of hitting, but of other forms of abuse, since it can also happen verbally, and even emotionally.

As you do that, you may come to realize that your relationship has been an abusive one for quite some time. In that time your husband may have felt like they could constantly scream at you, or call you names. They could also be abusive by demeaning you and discouraging you to do things.

Coming to terms that you are in an abusive relationship is difficult, but it is better to face this than keep yourself in a relationship that will put you in even more danger.

Look for law enforcement 

If your husband hits you, it may be important to know how to reach the law enforcement in your town. In recent years the laws to protect people that are going through domestic violence have become stronger.

They have been put to use to make the person that is going through violence feel safer. And it is understood that deciding to let the authorities know what happened is not always easy. It is not only about coming forward and saying that you have been hit by your husband, there is so much more than entails that situation.

There is, as said before, the matter that you will be saying that your husband hit you. That implies that you have accepted that you went through an abusive situation and that you decided to get out. But calling law enforcement can also make you fear what will happen to your husband.

This is not a simple matter, as you know the relationship isn’t great, there is always some hope that they will change or even a fear of what will happen to them if they get arrested. So a lot of women will usually hold off calling law enforcement as much as they can.

But even though it is difficult to do it, you must find the courage to get help. Even if it is the first time he hits you, as said before, there could have been many signs of an abusive relationship, and hitting you just came as the last straw. And once it happens, it can easily happen again.

Think about leaving

When your husband hits you, people will often say that you should just leave. There are a lot of people that will blame you if you can’t find the courage to leave as it happens the first time.

And even though you should try to leave the first time it happens, we know that it is not always easy. There are many reasons why you may stay with your partner. One of the ones that people may find harder to understand is that the person that is hit can feel like they are to blame.

An abusive relationship can go to an extent that the person can feel like they did something wrong, and their husband should have hit them. Maybe they begin to think they should have been a better partner. 

It can be about something as simple as not making the dinner properly, or even having an affair. All of this can lead the person to believe that they deserved to be hit.

In other cases, it can be hard to leave because both partners are aggressive, and the one that got hit can stay in hopes that at some point they will be able to even the score. In those cases, the violent offenses can go on to such an extent that it can end with one of the partners killing the other.

In other cases, it may be hard to leave because you are emotionally or financially attached to your partner. In those cases, when your husband hits you, you can think of staying because you feel like you have no other option but to endure what is happening since you have no perspective of a life without them.

Some other people may have trouble leaving their husbands when they hit them because they have the idea that no one will believe them. 

It can be that they are in a relationship with someone powerful or occupy a place of respect in their community, and you assume that coming forward will only lead to people questioning you.

What is important to keep in mind is that even though it may be hard to leave your husband when they leave you, staying can often mean that you are putting yourself into an even more dangerous situation. 

It may not be something that you will do from one moment to the next, but when your husband hits you, try to begin to look at what your options are. Talk with a friend you trust, and begin to create an escape plan for yourself.

Learn if there is a safe house in your community

As you are beginning to think about leaving, one thing that can help you is learning if there is a safe house in your community. They have become more and more common, and it is a place in which women can go as they leave their abusive husbands.

There they will be given all the government structure to help them rebuild their life. They will not only receive psychological support, but the institution will often help them find a job, and they can live in a safe house until they find themselves a new place to go.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): My husband hit me, what should I do? 

Is it my fault that my husband hit me? 

No, it is never your fault that your husband hits you. It may have just happened for the first time, but don’t ever believe that this is your fault. When you have an abusive husband, it can be that they tell you that they are doing that because you deserve it, and tell you that you did something wrong.

But you should never believe that. There is not one action that you can do wrong that would justify someone hitting you. And if he is trying to cause you to believe that you are to blame, it is just one more sign of how abusive this relationship is, and that is why you should begin to consider leaving it if you haven’t thought about it yet.

What are the signs of a toxic relationship?

If you have been thinking that you are in a toxic relationship, there are some signs you should keep an eye for. First, when you are in a toxic relationship, you will notice that you and your partner will not respect each other.

And you may also begin to notice that the two of you don’t feel like a couple anymore. It seems that neither of you is willing to put the effort into making this relationship work. You feel like you are just going through the motions, and there isn’t anything special anymore about this marriage.

When you are in a toxic relationship you may realize that the two of you are always saying the other one is to blame for what happens. Neither of you is willing to admit that you did something wrong, so you just say the other person did it worse.

Aside from that, you may realize that there is no intimacy in your marriage anymore, and the two of you are not the priority in each other’s life. 

But not only that, when someone is extremely controlling of the other, it can be a clear sign that you are in a toxic relationship, especially when they are not willing to adapt, or make compromises. And finally, it is a clear sign of a toxic relationship if there is any abuse in it, be it physical, or emotional.

Can my husband change?

When you go through an abusive situation, you may have in mind that your husband can change, they may even say so themselves, as they try to convince you to stay. But it is important to keep in mind that in most cases abusers don’t change.

Saying they will is just a way to keep you around, so they can keep abusing you. Of course, it is sad to leave a relationship, but sometimes, when we are in real danger, it is better to leave than to wait for things to get worse.

Will the police believe me if I tell my husband hits me?

Yes, the police will believe you if you tell them your husband hit you. The laws have become stronger to make sure that the person that was abused is not put through more abuse as they are trying to get out of their marriage. They are trained to offer you their full support at this troubling time.

Can I tell my therapist my husband hit me?

Yes, you can, and you should tell your therapist that your husband hit you. Your therapist may be important to help you assess what your options are, and think about how you can leave this abusive relationship.


This article discussed what you should do if your husband hit you. It explained how this can be just one more sign of an abusive relationship, and what are the steps to get out of this situation.

If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write them in the section below.


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