My Husband Does Nothing Special For Me(5 Tips)
By
OptimistMinds
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Author bio
The Optimistminds editorial team is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health professionals. Each article is written by a team member with exposure to and experience in the subject matter. The article then gets reviewed by a more senior editorial member. This is someone with extensive knowledge of the subject matter and highly cited published material.
This article will look at reasons why a husband may not do anything special for his wife and what does special exactly mean. Furthermore, the article will provide advice to spouses on how they can improve their relations with their significant other especially in ways unique but effective to what they previously wanted.
My Husband Does Nothing Special For Me – Why
There are a number of reasons why your husband may not do anything special for you such as:
- Does Not Realize Your Need
- Personality Differences
- He Is Too Busy
- His Special Is Different From Yours
- Not Interested In You Anymore
Before we look at these reasons, we will explain what the term ‘special’ could possibly mean. The article will also provide tips to women on how they can make the most out of things.
The Special Things In Life
Special has a different meaning for everyone. However, it can be narrowed down based on one category or segment of the society. The one we will focus on are the women in our life. Women have a different perception of life and what matters as compared to men – well at least most of the time. Generally, women are more caring, sensitive, responsible and good at multitasking because of different reasons such as their upbringing, socialization, gender role and biological characteristics and of course their role as a mother. However there are always exceptions because of these other factors and that too of personality.
Sometimes these traits may result in what women term special as being an integral part of their lives. They will associate different behaviors with this term and hence associate their happiness along with it too not realizing that everyone has their own definition.
Most of the times, we see that what is special to women may include the following:
- Getting her flowers and chocolates
- Taking her out for dinner
- Helping around in the house and kitchen
- Talking to her a lot
- Complimenting her
- Buying her gifts
Although many of these are something every woman expects, they do not always get the treatment they desire. This is not to say women’s needs are limited to such things only. Many women have different desires that may not be limited to or not include the above such as video gaming with her husband, talking about politics and the latest research as well as working together for the betterment of society. So yes all women do not have the same needs. There is variety and what matters is your husband recognizing these needs and fulfilling them.
Why Doesn’t He Get Her The Special Things In Life?
This is exactly what this article will focus on to help women understand what the possible hurdles could be when it comes to dealing with their spouses and getting to experience the ideal relation with their husband they always wanted to have.
Does Not Realize Your Needs
It is possible your husband is oblivious to your desires and needs. He may feel as if he is already doing what you want and does not realize the other special things you want in life.
This could be because of communication issues between you and your husband. It may be as simple as telling him what you want and he will get it done. At times, women may feel shy or hesitant about telling their husband what they want and hence wait or leave clues for him to find. If anything, men want things to be simple and direct! They do not want games. In fact, they cannot play the games women play and this is one reason why there is so much friction between men and women.
Next time you want your husband to take you out on dinner tell him about it and make things possible by ensuring he has enough time to get work done and pick a place to take you too.
Personality Differences
This plays a huge role in what is considered special for a person. It is possible that the things you consider special are actually something your husband does not like or believe in. A good example is of people who desire that perfect life where they and their spouse celebrate every event together in the most perfect way possible and post it online. They write sweet letters to each other and already predict what the other person wants for their birthday. This is not to say that there should be no effort in a relationship. It isn’t necessary to put in some effort for your spouse even if it is something you may not like. However, it should not be to the extent that you feel uncomfortable.
Hence your husband may not be the ‘mushy’ type but more of a serious and straightforward person who has a different definition of special. So before you make any assumptions and feel bad or hold your husband accountable for not loving you right, study his personality and see what type of person he is. Maybe he is someone who prefers staying indoors on special events and spending them only with you in a quiet setting. Cherish the differences and focus on the important things – doing things together in a way comfortable and fulfilling for both of you.
He Is Too Busy
Everyone has that time in life when they are just engaged in too many things and simply do not have time. It is possible this is the time when they are actually choosing what they want to do in life and hence need to juggle many things in order to keep options open and have a better future ahead in terms of their career and quality of life.
You need to understand that your husband has goals that he wants to accomplish. It is also possible he is desperately navigating through his work to avoid potential problems with regards to finances and hence he needs to put in a lot of time. If you start putting your demands in front of him not only will he not be able to meet them but he will feel bad that you are not taking his situation into view!
His Special Is Different From Yours
This is something women need to understand. Your spouse will not always have the same understanding or perception of life. It is possible they consider ‘special’ something else and not what you typically define. It is possible that a morning or evening walk together is way more special than a dinner in a crowded restaurant where the both of you can’t get time alone. It is also possible he enjoys spending time in the kitchen with you.
Why not take a step back and try to understand what he wants in life. It is possible you are so focused on what you want that you have forgotten that he has his needs and expectations too!
He Is Not Interested In You Anymore
A bitter truth that may need to be accepted is that he is no longer interested in you anymore. Maybe the passion has died out or he does not find you interesting anymore. He may even dislike how you behave or talk or manage yourself especially after the both of you started living together. Although it is advised that both partners need to put in effort in making each other feel happy and content with the other person, some cases go out of control.
Other factors may play a part in ruining things between you as well. The third person in the relation is one thing we all are too well aware of. A relationship may be back on its way to becoming how it was but a third person jumps in and ruins everything temporarily. As soon as they are done and leave the drama, your relationship is back to the drawing board with more problems.
Look out for signs that your husband is no longer interested in you and talk to him about the situation. It is important to work on these things first.
Conclusion
This article focused on why your husband does not do anything special for you to keep the passion and spirit alive in the relationship. It pointed out reasons that were relevant to personality, understanding the differences and looking out for problems such as decreased interest in you or a third person. The article also highlighted small tips on how women can better handle the situation.
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