My girlfriend’s anxiety is ruining our relationship

This article will discuss what to do when your girlfriend’s anxiety is ruining your relationship. For that, the article will show what anxiety can cause people to feel, and how to cope with it. Along with that, the article will suggest ways you both can cope with this situation.

How can your girlfriend’s anxiety ruin the relationship? 

When your girlfriend has anxiety it can affect her behavior in many ways. This includes your relationship. She can spend a lot of time worrying and ruminating on everything that could go wrong.

They might get worried you are still in love with them, if you are lying, or if you are hiding something and cheating on them. They might also be worried that their anxiety is ruining the relationship. Not only that, they might be worried about what will happen if you break up, or if you ghost them. 

Having those negative thoughts is normal, but people can put those thoughts in check and not believe in all of them. But people with anxiety can’t disconnect from those thoughts, and this can cause physiological symptoms. The main symptoms of anxiety are:

  • Shortness of breath
  • Insomnia
  • Accelerated heartbeat
  • Sweating
  • Dizziness

When your girlfriend feels anxious, it can be that her reaction comes over too harsh. She can project the fears she has onto you and might become aggressive, angry or irritable, and controlling. She can also become overly critical or show passive-aggressive behavior.

In that, having a safe space where you both can discuss what is going on is extremely important. For that, the first thing you need to know is what anxiety can cause on your girlfriend.

What anxiety does to your girlfriend

If you understand a little better about how anxiety might affect your girlfriend it can be easier for you two to deal with it. It’s important to understand that anxiety is a serious condition, one a person doesn’t choose to have. 

But anxiety is normal, it is what protects us from dangerous situations. It becomes a problem and the person doesn’t know how to control it, instead, anxiety starts to control their life. This makes them scared that they are becoming a burden to people. 

The basis of anxiety is the fight or flight reaction, and when a person has the disorder, they experience this reaction even in situations that are not dangerous. This happens because they are constantly worried about something bad happening.

People that have anxiety disorder can feel its symptoms all the time, or they can come in waves or both. There are even moments when they don’t have any symptoms of anxiety.

Anxiety can be treated with psychotherapy, and sometimes medications are also needed. The anxiety your girlfriend is demonstrating around your relationship can be related to a previous trauma they experienced. It could be that they went through cheating, or a bad breakup, something that impacted them in some way.

Once you realize that her anxiety is causing trouble, you need to think of ways to not let it affect you too much.

How to cope with your girlfriend having anxiety

To try and avoid that anxiety puts your relationship in trouble, you can use these coping strategies.

Encourage them to look for treatment 

If you realize your girlfriend is experiencing intense levels of anxiety, it might be time to talk to them about looking for treatment. You might do that by having an honest conversation with them. Let them know about the symptoms of anxiety you have seen in them, and share your concern.

Let them know you are worried and how you think this might be affecting their health and the relationship.

Improve the communication 

Talking about anxiety is never easy. But you should try to keep this topic open in the relationship. Try to tell each other how you feel and validate it. This will show your girlfriend you accept their anxiety, which will allow them to open up about it. 

With time it might become possible that you can tell when your partner is becoming anxious, and the both of you can address this before it blows up. It will also allow you to set apart what is a personal matter and what in their behavior is coming from anxiety.

This is extremely important because it will create some distance for you, so as do not to feel so upset or attacked by their behavior.

Set your boundaries 

When you are in a relationship with a girlfriend that has anxiety you need to set some boundaries as a way to set a balance between being understanding and trying to have a healthy relationship.

You need to have clear, for you and your girlfriend what types of behaviors are unacceptable. This could involve insults, accusations, or threats. You can also let them know that, although you understand their condition, you expect them to look for help and take steps to improve their mental health.

Take care of yourself

Through all this is important to not let go of yourself. Try to keep your routine, take some time to do things you are passionate about. This will make you feel better, and give you a lot more energy to deal with situations that may arise.

Don’t feel guilty by doing things that can make your girlfriend anxious. If they get anxious when you meet your friends, try to reassure them, but don’t give up on doing things that might be important to you. You should strive for balance in this.

How to support your girlfriend 

There are some ways you can support your girlfriend. And doing that is not giving up on yourself. These are the ways you can support them:

Recognize their improvements 

If you notice they are trying to get better and have been demonstrating improvements in their behavior, be supportive and let you know you noticed it. This will not only motivate them to stick to their treatment, but it will also show how attentive you are.

People with anxiety can get so nervous, and think they are such a burden to everyone around them that listening to positive feedback can be extremely rewarding.

Be open to listen 

Sometimes they might have something to say and you are tired or had a hard day at work. Although it is hard, try to listen to what they are saying. It might be that they are communicating about something that has been on their mind for a long time. This will reassure them that you are open and caring.

Include their care in your routine

If your girlfriend is in therapy or has taken up meditation as a way to deal with anxiety, be supportive and make this a part of your routine. Ask them how therapy went, how meditation is going. You may even find something to do together. 

For example, exercising is great to cope with anxiety. You can invite her to do a workout with you, and make this a routine. This will let them know how much you want them to feel better. 

BetterHelp: A Better Alternative

Those who are seeking therapy online may also be interested in BetterHelp. BetterHelp offers plenty of formats of therapy, ranging from live chats, live audio sessions and live video sessions. In addition, unlimited messaging through texting, audio messages and even video messages are available here.

BetterHelp also offers couples therapy and therapy for teenagers in its platform. Furthermore, group sessions can also be found in this platform, covering more than twenty different topics related to mental health and mental illness. The pricing of BetterHelp is also pretty cost-effective, especially considering the fact that the platform offers financial aid to most users.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): How is my girlfriend’s anxiety ruining our relationship?  

Can anxiety destroy a relationship?

It can be that if both parties don’t find a way to care for the relationship, it might end. When a partner has an anxiety disorder, they tend to fantasize a lot about what might happen. They are constantly waiting for the worst, and if you both don’t talk about it, it can turn into a bigger thing than it is. 

Try to keep in mind that you both need to improve your communication, and as you put it into practice, maybe your relationship won’t have to end because of anxiety. 

Should I break up with my boyfriend that has anxiety? 

You don’t need to break up with your boyfriend because they have anxiety. A person that has anxiety, although might have some difficult moments, is capable of being in a relationship. What you should be aware of is if they acknowledge their condition and if they are looking or in treatment.

Having a relationship with someone that has an anxiety disorder can have its troubles the same way any other relationship can. Try to communicate with your boyfriend and maybe you will both figure out a way to deal with this.

What should I not do to my girlfriend that has anxiety?

If your girlfriend has anxiety, you should avoid doing things that can make them more anxious. You should avoid criticizing them, or not recognize that they have anxiety. you shouldn’t be overprotective, since this will not allow them to look for ways to get better.

You should never try to be their therapist, or try to fix everything. This can only make them feel more anxious. Don’t take everything they do personally, and try to prevent them from lashing out at them. 

Is anxiety contagious?

Anxiety is not contagious. But what can happen is that by being too close to someone anxious, and if you don’t take proper care of yourself, and of your mental health, you can develop anxiety as well.

For example, if your girlfriend has anxiety, and she gets extremely anxious if you get home late, she starts to wonder if you got in an accident. If you don’t take care of yourself, you might start to get anxious to get home in time to not cause them to get anxious.

This is why it is so important to get some distance, and have your perspective on this. By that, you can discover ways to better communicate with them if you are going to get home late and try to not make them more anxious.

Does anxiety have a cure?

Anxiety, like most mental illnesses, doesn’t have a cure. Professionals avoid talking about a cure when speaking of mental health issues because it is impossible to affirm that people will never experience it again.

What is possible, through treatment, be it medication or therapy, is to improve the person’s well-being, and restore their ability to do things the condition took from them. For example, if a person lost the ability to be in a crowded place, through treatments, it might become possible for them to go back to such places.


The article explained how your girlfriend’s anxiety can harm your relationship. For that, it explained what can be going on with your girlfriend since she has anxiety disorder. 

Along with that, the article showed how you can cope with this situation, and what are things you can do to support her, as a way to create a safe environment to maintain the relationship.

If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write it in the section below.


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