My girlfriend is pregnant and I don’t want it (7 tips)

In this article, we will look at what to do when your girlfriend is pregnant and you don’t want it. The blog will also look at the different options the couple has for an unwanted pregnancy, with a list of don’ts.

What to do if your girlfriend is pregnant and you don’t want it? 

If your girlfriend is pregnant and you don’t want it, here is a list of things you can do 

  • Confirming the pregnancy 
  • Understand your own feelings
  • Tell her how you feel 
  • Talk to the experts 
  • Think through your decision 

Confirming the pregnancy

The first and foremost thing you do is visit a gynecologist with your girlfriend. Before making any decision or letting your feelings take over you, make sure what you are dealing with. We all know that home pregnancy tests can sometimes be a situation of false positive, Visit a doctor, get your girlfriend a thorough check-up done. It is important to get rid of your doubts and confirm the pregnancy. 

In case this is an unplanned pregnancy your doctor can help you with the further options that are possible. 

Understand your own feelings

After confirming the pregnancy, if you still do not want the child, stop everything, and consider your feelings. Think about the reason why you do not want this child. Oftentimes it all comes down to fear. Men are scared that they are not in the right place in their relationship as well as life to have a child. They fear that may not be a good father. In addition, there are chances you are not happy in your current relationship and were planning to break up. You may not see a future in your relationship. So be it any reason, it is important to identify it before taking any step further. 

Tell her how you feel 

Now that you have gained a thorough insight on why you do not want a baby, you need to tell your girlfriend how you feel. Remember, communication is the key. It is very important to have a difficult task. Better to suffer now for a while, than suffer for a lifetime right? Do not try to be subtle about your feelings. It is essential that the two of you lay your feelings about the relationship as well as the baby outright. This will help you make a better decision, as you know what the other feels. 

Ask her what she is thinking. It may turn out that the two of you are on the same page and do not want the baby. If she decides to keep the baby, know her reason behind it. Try finding a solution to your problem peacefully. 

Think through your decision 

Once you have made a decision, reconsider it hundred times before you actually implement it. Once a deed is done, you cannot go back and change it. If you do not want the child and decide to break up with your girlfriend or abort the child, remember these things are unchangeable. You cannot magically make things right. Try to reason for your decision. If you are making this decision out of fear of not being a good dad or fear of the unknown. Stop yourself. No parent is perfect. You just have to brace the situation in the best way you can. 

Talk to the experts 

After you have the conversation, take some time to cool off. In case you were unable to come to decision by yourself, it is an excellent chance to go to a counselor. Talking to a relationship and marriage expert can open up your horizon. Firstly, they can help you understand each other’s point of view. Secondly, they will certainly help you to come to a solution, without having to destroy your relationship. Having an unbiased outside perspective on your relationship can help you look at the options that you did not know about. 

Side Note: I have tried and tested various products and services to help with my anxiety and depression. See my top recommendations here, as well as a full list of all products and services our team has tested for various mental health conditions and general wellness.

What are the options available? 

At the end of all this, you have to make a decision. A plan where the two of you are together parenting the child, or you go your separate ways.  If you are girlfriend is pregnant, as the father of the child here are a few plans that you can come up with 

Help parent

If you are in a situation where you do not want to marry your current girlfriend but stay in touch with your child, then you adapt to this plan. As the father of the child, you will help your current girlfriend in all the ways possible. You can certainly help your child and her mother with the finances if needed.  You may have an equal share in the decisions made for the child in aspects of education, religion, etc. 

Get married and raise the child together

If you and your girlfriend decide that you want to stay together and have the baby, this is the ideal situation. Pick a date within the next two months and get married. Together you can raise the child as a family. 

Temporary foster care

If you are in a condition where you cannot make the right decision at the moment, the best option is temporary foster care. You can send in your child to a foster family until you get your life together and decide if you want to be a parent or not 

Help place the baby for adoption 

If the two of you are certain that you do not want the baby and it is too late for an abortion, then the adoption can be the best and loving plan to go ahead with, given the circumstances. There are a few types of adoption available. Choose your options wisely. 

Abortion 

Abortion is certainly an option if it is not too late. If you catch the pregnancy at the right time and do not want the baby, then you can certainly abort the child, given you do not have contrary beliefs. Although this is a good option. Remember this is always the decision of the mother. You cannot force your girlfriend to abort the child if she feels otherwise. 

Abandon the child and the mother 

This may certainly be the easiest option. But i hope you do not go ahead with it.  It is easy yes, but it is also the cruelest option. Remember this is not only your girlfriend’s headache. Knowingly or unknowingly, the two of you have made this baby together. Think about how you might feel 10 years down the line. So take responsibility and stick with your girlfriend during tough times, whether you love her or not, whether you want the baby or not. 

What not to do?

While we are trying to do things right, we only focus on what to do. Like in the above section we have seen what to do when your girlfriend is pregnant and you don’t want it. In this part of the guide, we will have a look at what not to do when you realize your girlfriend is pregnant. Because to get things right, you need to be aware of the things not to be done. 

  • Don’t bail. Do not try to escape the situation. Looking for a quick fix will not solve your problem. The more you run away from it now, the harder it gets,  both now and down the road. Keep patient and stay there for your girlfriend, remember she did not end up there all by herself. 
  • Don’t pressure her. Do not try to impose your decision or feelings on her. Let her make her own decision. This does not mean that you cannot voice your opinion. You need to keep in mind that it is you vs the problem. Not you vs your girlfriend. Work as a team, it will all be okay in the end. 
  • Don’t play the blame game. However upsetting the situation might be, remember no one is at fault here. Unwanted pregnancies happen all the time. You are not a unique couple. Do not get mad at each other for having sex. It was not something you both could have controlled.
  • Don’t rush. Whatever decision you make, remember that there is no rush. Take your own sweet time, (of course before the baby is born) to make the decision. Think through from all the angles possible. You may not want to make a decision that you will regret for the rest of your life. 
  • Don’t shut down. Ignoring each other or the situation is going to do no good. Listen to her and her feelings, and tell her about your feelings. Ignoring will only n=lead to poor decision making, and also jeopardize your relationship. 

To get things right, you must know the wrong things first. Keep in mind these Don’ts and then deal with your situation. 

When one learns about an unplanned pregnancy there is aflow of complex and paradox emotions. You are confused if you want the baby or not. I mean wouldn’t it be wonderful to have your own cute doll at home? Imagine when you come back from work stressed, and their little simple can make you the happiest person on planet earth. On the other hand, it is the same stress buster, that causes you the stress. The stress of parenting, the stress of finance, the toll it might take on your relationship, etc. you are not alone to feel these things. Just complex feelings are normal when it comes to unwanted pregnancy.

However, remember that this isn’t your girlfriend’s problem alone. Fathers have a huge role in pregnancy. I am pretty sure your girlfriend is not pregnant magically. So it is your responsibility whether you want the child or not to stick with your girlfriend and take a wise decision. 

Conclusion 

In this article, we have looked at what to do when your girlfriend is pregnant and you don’t want it. The blog has also looked at the different options the couple has for an unwanted pregnancy, with a list of don’ts.

If you’ve enjoyed the ”My girlfriend is pregnant and I don’t want it” mentioned above, I would recommend you to take a look at ”Wife really wants a daughter” too.

FAQs: My girlfriend is pregnant and I don’t want it

How do you help your girlfriend when she’s pregnant?

There are various ways you can help your girlfriend who is pregnant. Although these may be subjective in nature, the experience of pregnancy varies among individuals. 
 
You can be there for your girlfriend when she feels emotional due to the hormones
Help her satisfy her cravings 
Visit the doctor with her 
Help her with the daily activities 
Massage her 
Go to yoga with her 
Respect her boundaries 

Why is my pregnant girlfriend always mad at me?

The most common cause of unreasonable mood swings during pregnancy is hormones. During the first trimester, your body tries to create an environment that is safe for the fetus. This leads to the fluctuation in the hormonal balance, leading to various intense feelings of hate, anger, and resentment. 

Can your baby feel your emotions?

Yes, when you are pregnant your baby is exposed to everything you are experiencing. The air you breathe, the food you eat, the feelings you feel. If you are distressed and uncomfortable, your baby may feel fussy and irritated too. 

What we recommend for Relationship & LGBTQ issues

Relationship counselling

  • If you are having relationship issues or maybe you are in an abusive relationship then relationship counselling could be your first point of call. Relationship counselling could be undertaken by just you, it does not require more than one person.

LGBTQ issues

If you are dealing with LGBTQ issues then LGBTQ counselling may be a great option for you. Maybe you are confused as to your role and identity or simply need someone to speak to. LGBTQ counsellors are specially trained to assist you in this regard.

References 

https://www.scprc.com/my-girlfriend-is-pregnant/
https://www.firstplaceoptions.ca/just-for-the-guys/

Was this post helpful?

[Sassy_Social_Share type="standard"]