When your boyfriend doesn’t trust you it can cause a lot of problems in the relationship.
In this article we aim at helping you make sense of this situation. We’ll be looking at the possible causes for this lack of trust, how to overcome it, and tips on making the right decision for you, as well as your partner.
Here are the topics we’ll be looking at :
- Why doesn’t my boyfriend trust me?
- How can I overcome this situation?
- Tips to improve a relationship
- Red flags in the relationship
Why doesn’t my boyfriend trust me?
Your boyfriend might not trust you for the following reasons:
- He’s been cheated on in the past
- He has experienced a traumatic relationship
- You have been unfaithful
- He’s not comfortable with certain things
- He’s not comfortable with someone you’re close to
- He’s insecure about himself
- He’s feeling unloved
- You both have grown distant
Your boyfriend has been cheated on
If your boyfriend has been cheated on in the past, then it’s a possibility that he hasn’t been able to get over that event.
In such cases your boyfriend might have had a really bad time trying to cope with being cheated on. He might have felt like he isn’t enough and he can’t fulfill a woman. This will definitely prove to be a hurdle in your relationship.
It’s important to give your boyfriend the time to understand that this relationship will not prove to be the same.
Let him know that you’re here to build a relationship with him.
Your boyfriend has experienced a traumatic relationship
Having a traumatic relationship can really break your hopes for a new relationship. It can be difficult to overcome the memories of a traumatic relationship while being in a completely new relationship.
It’s completely upto you to make your boyfriend feel safe. The ones thing that a traumatic relationship lacks is the feeling of safety, and assurance.
You have been unfaithful in your relationship
If you’ve been unfaithful to your current boyfriend, it might explain why he isn’t able to trust you anymore.
Trust is a difficult thing to earn, once it has been broken nobody feels secure. That’s why the only thing that helps is assurance. Also, more than words, actions make a difference. If you have done something to affect your boyfriend, show him that you’re working on regaining his trust.
Your boyfriend isn’t comfortable with certain things
It’s a possibility that your boyfriend isn’t okay with things such as your social circle, the job you do, the people you work with or so on.
It’s obviously something that your partner has to work on. However if he thinks that these are things he probably will never be able to understand and be in accordance with, then it’s time to reconsider the relationship.
Your boyfriend isn’t comfortable with someone in your friend circle
It’s a possibility that there is a certain someone who your boyfriend is feeling differently about. This can be a close friend or an acquaintance.
In such a situation, it’s important to have an open conversation with your boyfriend. Understand how he’s feeling and what you can do for this.
Your boyfriend is insecure
Your boyfriend could be insecure for a number of things.
Look into your relationship and notice if you’ve always criticized him for certain things. Or if you have made him feel conscious about his looks, behaviour and financial status.
It’s also possible that you have compared your boyfriend with friends or family. Nobody likes being compared because this automatically makes them pay attention to their shortcomings.
It might have been painful for you boyfriend to feel bad about himself that too because of the one person whom he truly loves.
He’s feelings unloved
This is related to the previous point. If you have been criticizing your boyfriend way more than complimenting him, it might have resulted in him feeling unloved.
You don’t have to compliment your boyfriend all the time. Or make him feel important and special. You need to make him feel appreciated and “seen”.
One of the biggest reasons why people feel unloved is because they feel like a burden or that they’re not providing enough in the relationship.
If you feel like your boyfriend isn’t doing as much as he should, and if you have already spoken about this and still not seen any chance, then maybe you aren’t as compatible.
You both have grown distant
It’s a possibility that you and you boyfriend have grown distant due to work, or other emergencies.
Getting caught up with work and not prioritising one’s relationship is a common mistake. You might think that there’s not much you can do , but always remember, this is a relationship and maybe it’s no so easy to adapt for the other person.
The other person might need more time, or alternatives that work for them. Try to widen your perspective and look at the bigger picture.
How can I overcome this situation?
You can overcome this situation by being direct about your feelings with your boyfriend.
Don’t try to leave him hints or signs when it comes to your relationship. It’s always best to be straightforward and direct instead of waiting for a miracle to happen.
- Have quality time with eachother.
- Speak or write about your feelings
- Share a hobby that requires you to work together. This builds trust and compatibility.
- Do not involve another person to sort this issue out.
- Be aware of whom you share your problems with, especially when it comes to your relationship.
- Do not assume ahead of knowing what has happened.
- Don’t try to poke your boyfriend and tease him about the trust issues.
- Don’t let ego get in the middle of your communication with your boyfriend.
Tips to improve the relationship
Do understand that every relationship is unique and works well as long as both parties are willing to make it work.
- Always communicate your feelings.
Dont give room to assumptions and doubts.
- Be transparent about your needs and expectations.
- Don’t manipulate your partner into compromising, instead speak to them about what’s not working for you.
- Always apologize after a fight, don’t expect things to go back to normal with time.
- Even if it does go back to normal, it does not mean things are fine.
- Don’t leave issues unaddressed.
- Don’t leave issues unresolved by pushing them underneath the carpet.
- Remember to work as a team instead of working against eachother.
Red flags in a relationship
If you’ve explained everything you possibly could, but your boyfriend is still not able to trust you. Then this can be a red flag. It’s extremely difficult for relationships to survive without trust.
Even if they do survive it can be painful and complicated. It’s important to know your boundaries in a relationship.
If your boyfriend is pushing these boundaries and expecting you to compromise and make him feel more secure, then this is a red flag.
Even in a relationship each one has their own capacities. It’s important to recognise this before it gets too late, and eventually turns into a toxic relationship.
Every relationship is difficult, but it’s upto both parties to decide if they want to be a part of it and work on it. As long as you both are on the same page in this sense, it will all eventually be fine. Try to look at the brighter side and believe in your bond with your partner
If you have any questions or queries, drop them in the comment section below.
FAQs- My boyfriend doesn’t trust me
What can I do when my boyfriend doesn’t trust me?
When your boyfriend doesn’t trust you, try to be patient and give him time, it can be difficult to understand but it’s necessary to respect his feelings. Try to also find ways to help him relax along the way. Be there for him by showing him you care for him and you won’t hurt him as someone might have in the past.
Can a relationship last without trust?
No, a relationship will not last without trust. The relationship will definitely lack stability without trust and no two people can be comfortable in it.
Why does my boyfriend have bad trust issues?
Your boyfriend might have bad trust issues due to bad experiences from last relationships, painful experiences with a certain someone or even childhood ttuama.
Can you love someone and cheat on them?
Yes, you can love someone and still cheat on them. However you cannot expect them to understand this just because you’re in love with them.
Can you love without trust?
No, trust precedes love. You can only love someone when you truly trust them and everything that they are.