My boyfriend doesn’t compliment me (5 tips)

Worrying about the fact that your boyfriend doesn’t compliment you might sound silly, but we understand that it can be bothersome in the long run. 

In this article we will be looking at why has your boyfriend not been complimenting you, what you can do about it, when is it time to reconsider your relationship, and what are the red flags that you need to look out for in a relationship. 

Here are the topics we would be covering: 

  • Why doesn’t my boyfriend compliment me? 
  • How can I communicate my expectations to him? 
  • Actions speak louder than words
  • Knowing when to move on 
  • Red flags you need to look out for

Why doesn’t my boyfriend compliment me? 

Your boyfriend might not be complimenting you for a varied number of reasons such as: 

  • He’s got a lot on his plate 
  • He’s not paying attention to your relationship
  • He doesn’t think it’s important to compliment you 
  • You have grown distant with each other
  • You could be expecting more than you’re giving
  • He’s not able to express himself
  • He’s got narcissistic traits

If your boyfriend has a lot on his plate 

This might include work, family, social circle and so on. Your boyfriend might be stressed or occupied with other challenges and tasks at hand. If he’s always complimented you and been a positive person, but it has all stopped suddenly, this might be one of the reasons. In such a situation having a heart-to-heart conversation will definitely help you. 

Your boyfriend isn’t paying attention to your relationship

In most relationships after the honeymoon phase is done, everything dies down. The reason being that people tend to forget that a relationship needs constant effort and attention. Both individuals need to keep growing and working on their relationship. As things change in life it’s very easy for your relationship to take a back seat, and that’s eventually how the relationship does down. 

Your boyfriend doesn’t think compliments are important

This is an age-old problem or what we could call ” gender gap.” The things that work for a woman aren’t the same as the things that work for a man. Sometimes men aren’t even aware of the needs of a woman. This is when you need to inform your boyfriend about what you like and expect from him. 

You have grown distant with each other

This is probably one of the most common things that happens in a relationship. We all have lives other than our relationships and life can get in the middle. When this happens most of us end up shutting our partners out. You and your boyfriend might have grown distant unintentionally, but now that you realise it, it’s time to do something about it. Plan a vacation, or even an intimate date, get to talking, track your steps back and see what went wrong. 

You could be expecting more than you are giving

We sometimes fail to introspect and be the better person before we blame the opposite person. If you’ve not been paying attention to your boyfriend’s needs, if you haven’t been making him feel good and loved, then naturally you might be feeling the same way as well. Everytime you feel something is lacking, give it in return. There’s a good chance your boyfriend also has been feeling the lack of the same thing. 

Your boyfriend is not able to express himself

Your boyfriend might be feeling alot internally but he probably is finding it difficult to express himself. If your boyfriend is generally a quiet person, who is shy, then you’d have to make peace with this. If he isn’t but he’s suddenly finding it difficult to express himself, then you’d have to figure out what’s stopping him. Sometimes when the woman is extremely expressive, it might prove to be overwhelming, and men usually take a step back. 

Your boyfriend has narcissistic traits

A narcissistic person is one who thinks very great of himself. To such a person the people around him aren’t up to the mark. 

One common trait is that even if they do appreciate you, they might not express this to you. They’ll rather talk highly of you to other people. 

How can I communicate my expectations to my boyfriend? 

If you want to tell your boyfriend that your expectations aren’t being met, the best way to do it is to start with the positives. Speak about what’s working for you, his positives that make you feel good and so on. 

After doing so you can move on to your expectations. Instead of going in with a fixed mindset, explain to him how you’re feeling. And always give him the room to explain himself. 

He might have a reason for this that is valid, and that you might have missed out on. 

Actions speak louder than words 

It’s a possibility that your boyfriend is complimenting you but you’re expecting more in the form of actions. He might have stopped displaying affection, or doing things you love. 

In such a case, try to look within and see if you’ve also stopped displaying affection. Because sometimes our partners mirror our own behaviour. 

It might be time to spark things up in such a situation. Revisit your favourite romantic restaurant, go on a small vacation, or even stay in bed all day talking and watching your favourite movie. 

Knowing when to move on

Sometimes if your boyfriend doesn’t compliment you, it might be because he’s losing interest, or he’s interested in someone else. These are hurtful situations but they are definitely possible. 

In such a case you need to know when to stop putting in the effort. It can become very taxing to put in effort for two people. You need to know where to draw the line and move on. 

Red flags to look out for 

Here are a few red flags to look out for in your relationship: 

  • If you’ve already expressed these concerns to your boyfriend and wa seehe’s still not tried to make it better. 
  • Incase your boyfriend makes you feel stupid for having expectations. 
  • If you boyfriend makes it look like you’re overthinking.
  • If there is manipulation and gaslighting involved. 
  • When you feel insecure even after letting him know that. 
  • When you’re putting in all the effort and aren’t getting anything from his side. 

Something really important to look for in terms of compliments, is when your boyfriend criticizes you more than complimenting you. This is a big red flag that you shouldn’t ignore. 

Always maintain a boundary in every relationship. And if you feel someone is crossing the line and putting you down, it’s time to speak up and let them know that you’re not comfortable with this. 


At the end of the day, if your boyfriend isn’t complimenting you, you can always let him know about how it’s making you feel. But you need to keep in mind that there’s only this much one can do in a relationship. It is a two way street at the end of the day and requires effort from both ends. 

If you have any comments or queries please feel free to drop them in the comment section below. 

FAQs – My boyfriend doesn’t compliment me 

Are compliments important in a relationship?

Yes, Compliments play an important role in case you want a relationship to work in the long run. Complimenting your partner on not just their looks, but on other aspects as well shows that you value them on the whole. Giving your partner sincere compliments often can really help sustain your relationship. 

What are backhanded compliments?

A backhanded compliment is when someone tells you that your work was ” surprisingly good,” then that’s a backhanded compliment. It is a compliment that implies more of the opposite.

Do guys like it when you compliment them?

Yes guys do like it when you compliment them. They like hearing compliments. They appreciate admiration and because of our stereotypical societal thinking, men aren’t going to fish for compliments and they sometimes might not even encourage it. However they definitely do appreciate compliments. 

Do guys like compliments on their smile? 

Yes, guys do like it when you compliment their smile. Making eye contact while complimenting a guy on his smile is much more impactful and also well appreciated.  

Do guys remember compliments?

Yes, guys do remember compliments when they receive them. Sadly guys don’t receive compliments regularly, it’s rare for them to receive one. This means that they not only will remember the compliment but also your name. 


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