If your boyfriend has broken up with you recently, it can lead to a lot of confusion. There might be some residual feelings, it’s possible that closure is yet to be received as well. This is when the doubts and anxieties start trickling down.
In this article we try to make sense of these doubts. Your boyfriend might have broken up with you for reasons known or unknown, but now we aim at helping you cope with the situation at hand.
Here are a few topics we will be covering
- How do I get over my boyfriend?
- How do I cope with the breakup?
- When do I need professional help?
How do I get over my boyfriend?
Once your boyfriend has broken up with you the next obvious question is, how do I get over my boyfriend?
Depending on how serious your relationship was, how it ended, and the kind of person you are, this will have a different set of answers.
- If your relationship was serious
In such a situation it would definitely take you longer to get over your boyfriend. Serious or long-term relationships literally mould you into a different person. So once it ends and your partner leaves, you might feel lost and confused. You probably have a low self-esteem, and are doubting yourself.
One of the biggest issues that happens is that people start doubting themselves. If they had a long-term relationship and gave it their all, and it still didn’t work out, they think that something is wrong with them.
This is a dangerous thought process to step into. Remember that every relationship is a learning process, you’re going to be a part of someone else’s life, and vice versa. This might or might not work, but it will definitely teach you, and if you learn you’re only going to get a step closer to finding the right person.
- If your relationship didn’t last long
When relationships don’t last as long as you thought they would, this again leads to self-doubt. People start to question themselves, they begin to think they’re not made for commitments.
However on the brighter side, try to understand that your boyfriend broke up with you sooner than later. And sooner is much better than expecting your relationship to last, just to find out it’s not going to.
In relationships ripping off the bandage quickly is a better option at most times.
- Did your relationship end well?
Even if your boyfriend has broken up with you, it can still have a good or bad ending. For example if your boyfriend gave you no closure, and broke up with your abruptly, or if he ignored you till you got the picture. These are bad breakups.
If your boyfriend broke up with you by giving you reasons. Letting you know how he feels and all while respecting your boundary and privacy, then it’s a pretty good break up.
People tend to forget that the way someone breaks up with you is as important as the relationship itself.
- Having a lack of closure
A lack of closure is always an issue. We might have questions that have been left unanswered. Answering these questions on our own often means that we need to make assumptions.
It can also leave us in an extremely confused state about all the time and memories from the relationship. This can play on a person’s mental health and they might start having trust issues.
If this is what you’re going through then there’s nothing better other than getting the closure you deserve from your ex. And if this isn’t possible then you need to give yourself closure.
Detox your life, remove the things that remind you of your ex. Stay off social media, practice positive affirmations and focus on giving yourself the closure you need.
When it comes to moving on, time does heal you. But you would have to put in the equal effort as well.
How do I cope with the break up?
- Find a hobby
Throw yourself into a hobby you love doing. Indulge and make it a part of your lifestyle. Hobbies are a great way to keep yourself occupied while going through a break up.
Most of the time , revisiting your ex’s social media, or reading old messages can hold you back from moving on. So it’s always better to keep yourself occupied.
This does not mean you throw yourself into something that’s stressful, such as work. Some people might over do this as well. Remember that the point is to keep you occupied and at the same time it is to help you feel better and heal as well.
- Reach out to friends
Reach out to the ones around you, your support system. This is generally considered to be one of the best coping mechanisms. There’s great strength in being able to ask for help.
It’s alright if you need people around you, this is only natural. So spend time outdoors with your friends, have a sleep over, do things that help you feel better from the inside.
Reaching out to the stronger connections in your life will help in reinforcing your trust in people and relationships on the whole.
- Try to journal
Journaling can be a healing process for many. This is where you begin to jot down your thoughts and the way you feel about these thoughts. Usually post a break up we tend to run into assumptions and intrusive thoughts.
Journaling can help in compartmentalising these thoughts. It can form a clearer picture that you might be able to understand better.
You might even come across certain things that you probably suppressed or tried to not focus on. These things usually help in letting go and moving forward.
- Positive affirmations
If you’ve been feeling low about yourself then maybe it’s time to start with some positive affirmations
Positive affirmations have been proven to help in changing negative thought patterns. They can make you feel stronger and more confident about yourself.
It’s usually good to start your day with positive affirmations and end your day with a gratitude journal. Where you note down the things you’ve felt grateful for in your day. This helps in beginning your days on a positive note, and ending the day on a positive note as well.
When do I need professional help?
Even Though break-ups are common, it can still be extremely difficult for some people. It’s important to understand that just because it’s difficult for you, doesn’t mean you’re weak.
Some people tend to aslo feel the weight of a break up for many months after it’s done. In such a situation it’s best to look out for the signs that tell you it’s time to seek professional help.
- If you’re constantly feeling a low mood.
- If you’re either eating a lot or eating too less.
- If you’re sleeping alot or sleeping too less.
- If you’re feeling hopeless about your present and the future.
- And if all of these symptoms exist for a period of at least 3-4 weeks, then it’s time to consult a counselor.
Consulting a counselor for a breakup is normal. If you do leave it unattended it might lead to much more serious issues and might affect your subsequent relationships as well. It’s always better to prevent this from happening rather than waiting for it to happen.
After your boyfriend breaks up with you, it can be a distressing time but all is not lost. You can always get back on your feet and feel like yourself again. This takes time, patience and a lot of self-love. Self- love is the epitome of healing and moving forward after a breakup.
If you have any questions or queries, please drop them in the comment section below.
FAQs- My boyfriend broke up with me
Is it normal for couples to break up and get back together?
Yea it is normal for couples to break up and get back together. According to research at least 50% of couples break up and get back together again.
Who hurts more after a breakup?
Women hurt more after a breakup is what most researchers say. This is probably because of the extent to which women experience emotions. However they’ve also experienced higher levels of physical pain as well.
Can breaking up save a relationship?
Yes, in some cases breaking up can save a relationship. It provides distance between both individuals which helps in thinking things over and making the right decision.
Do soulmates break up and get back together?
Yes this is a possibility. However it has been found out that you might feel lighter and more energized after breaking up with your soulmate. You might even get back together just to break up again. Most of the time soulmates are seen to weigh people down.
Can you break up and get back together years later?
Yes you can break up and get back together again after years.