What are the most common signs of jealousy?

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This article will explain what are the most common signs of jealousy. It will also show how it manifests itself in many relationships, and how it is different from envy.

What are the most common signs of jealousy? 

Counseling is Key to a Healthy Marr...
Counseling is Key to a Healthy Marriage

Some signs will show that a person is experiencing jealousy. Here they are.

You have trouble with the other person’s success 

When you feel jealous, it may be difficult for you to feel happy for them when they achieve something good. You can feel annoyed when you see them succeed and get angry when others are complimenting them, or giving them praise for what they have done.

You tend to act passive-aggressive towards them 

Being jealous of someone can also make you act passive-aggressive with them. You can be so scared to lose them, that you keep trying to control yourself to not lash out, but since you are so jealous, you can’t behave normally with them, which causes this type of behavior.

For example, if you are jealous of your romantic partner, you may begin to sulk, or give them the silent treatment when they behave in a way that triggers your jealousy, but once the situation that brings you jealousy ends, you behave normally.

You may begin to not be close to the person 

Dealing with jealousy can be so difficult that sometimes you can begin to avoid them. You may not want to be close to them so the feeling is not triggered on you.

You may start to criticize them too much

Being jealous of someone can make you overly critical of them. In the same way as not being able to celebrate their success, you feel like you need to diminish them, to feel better about yourself.

How does jealousy manifest itself in each relationship? 

When a person is jealous of someone in your life, it can manifest in different ways depending on the relationship you have with the person.

Jealousy in the family 

When you experience jealousy in your family circle, it can be that you try to avoid being with them, since the person that triggers your jealousy will be there. For example, you can be jealous of your brother, for all the praise your parents give them.

This jealousy can make you feel rage, and if it is a child that is experiencing jealousy, they can begin to throw more tantrums, turn clingy, or even have mood swings. In that case, it may be important to set some time aside to spend with the child and show them how praised they are.

And if you are jealous of someone in your family when you are a grown-up, sharing your views with your family, and with a therapist can help you get a deeper understanding of why this is happening, and how you can cope with it.

Jealousy in your workspace 

You can often become jealous of a co-worker if there is a new one that has just arrived. You can begin to fear that they will take away your job, that your boss will praise them more, or even that you will be replaced in your relationship with your other co-workers.

When you feel this sense of threat, it is easy for you to become more isolated, and not have as much contact with people from your work as you had before. It may be difficult for you to recognize the achievements of your colleagues, and often find ways to put them down.

When that is the case, you may want to try and focus on yourself, and what you have been doing in your job, and understand if you need to improve on something. You should also try to understand what is the root of your jealousy. And try to identify what are the things you are good at, and value them.

Jealousy with friends 

Being jealous in a friendship can be similar to being jealous in a romantic relationship. You may feel afraid of losing your friend, and in that fear, you may want to spend as much time as you can with them, so they can’t spend time with the person you are jealous of.

If you feel that the jealousy of your friend is being detrimental to you, it may be important to think about what is triggering it and talk about what you feel. But it is important to keep in mind that a little jealousy can also be good to maintain a relationship.

Jealousy in a romantic relationship

Jealousy can become a problem in a romantic relationship. It can lead you to feel that you can’t trust your partner, and you need to always be with them so they don’t cheat on you, or you don’t lose them.

When you experience jealousy in your relationship, you may want to try to understand what triggers your jealousy and try to identify if there is a reality to this jealousy, if your partner has ever done something wrong, or if it is mostly based on your imagination.

Talking to your partner about what is happening in a non-accusatory way can help you find a way out of jealousy. If your partner has acted badly previously, and you decided to stay in the relationship, it may be important that you try to let go of what happened, and give this a fresh start.

How is jealousy different from envy? 

People may often use envy and jealousy in the same way, but you must learn that there is a difference between one and the other. Jealousy will often address the feeling you have that you will lose your relationship with a person because there is a third party that will be closer to them.

This idea that you will lose the person to someone else can be based on a real situation, or even one connected to your imagination. And this idea can affect your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. 

When you are talking about envy, it is a painful emotion that is experienced regarding the place you occupy in your life. It implies that you don’t want to be in the place you are in, but rather in the place the person you envy is in.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): What are the most common signs of jealousy? 

What causes people to experience jealousy?

Some factors can make a person more susceptible to experiencing jealousy. It can happen more often to people that have low self-esteem, high neuroticism, and people that often feel they are possessive of others, be it friends, family members, or even romantic partners.

It seems that when a person gets jealous easily, it can be related to a deep-seated fear the person has of being abandoned.

What are the stages of jealousy?

There seem to be four stages of jealousy. The first one is identification. In this stage, the person starts to realize how angry they are that there is another person in the person’s life. It can happen to a friend, a family member, or even a romantic partner. And in fear of being left by the person they love, you begin to experience jealousy.

The next stage is called confrontative. This is when the negative thoughts begin to take over, you may constantly see yourself thinking that you love the person, but you are afraid of losing them. After the confrontative stage, comes the stage of redirecting. 

In it, the jealous person may begin to redirect their energy towards other things to not feel so bad about themselves. This happens as a way to try to value themselves, even though their self-esteem can be extremely low, as they fear losing the person they love. To deal with this stage more positively, it may be necessary to look for professional support.

Finally, jealousy reaches the stage called Medea. It is in this stage that jealousy seems like something irreversible, this can lead the person to be tormented by negative thoughts, and it seems jealousy is taking control over their lives. It is not only that they are jealous of the person, it can begin to affect their idea of ever being good at something.

Is jealousy a sign of love?

No, jealousy is not a sign of love. Although some people may often confuse it, and act as if having a jealous partner means that they are extremely loved, it is mostly a sign of insecurity. It is also something extremely unflattering since jealousy can also imply that your partner sees you as a possession, so it can often make you feel like an object. 

Does jealousy show a lack of trust?

Yes, it is possible to say that jealousy comes from a lack of trust, although at first, you can feel that this lack of trust will be directed at the jealous person’s partner.

It is important to highlight that when someone is jealous, they are not experiencing it only because they don’t trust their partner, it can come from a lack of trust in themselves as well. They can have such low self-esteem, that they don’t understand what their partner is doing with them, so they get jealous.

It is also a sign of a lack of trust in the relationship the two people have created. When you are jealous, it leaves the idea that all the two of you have been through is not as valuable.

What are signs my friend is jealous of?

You may realize that your friend is jealous if they start to bring only negative things to all the ideas or thoughts you share with them, or even if they are constantly thinking of ways to do things better than you. A jealous friend will likely have trouble giving you the support you need.

A good sign to be on the lookout for is if this friend is usually leaving you feeling worse about yourself after the two of you meet. It may also be possible that your friend is jealous if you sense they have low self-esteem, and often display insecurities.

Is jealousy a red flag?

Yes, jealousy can be considered a red flag. That is because when someone starts manifesting it in the relationship there is a great chance that it will get worse as time progresses, and it can go to the point of leading the couple to big fights, and a lot of distrust.

Conclusion 

This article explained what are the most common signs of jealousy, and how it manifests itself in your relationships. Aside from that, the article explained how jealousy is different from envy.

If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write them in the section below.

References

https://psychcentral.com/health/signs-of-jealousy

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