Loving someone with depression – a complete guide to understanding how the other person in the relationship feels
In this guide, we will discuss what is like loving someone with depression and what the person can do to not be affected by the illness.
Loving someone with depression
A person who loves another will only want that person to be well.
The person wants their well-being and will worry about everything that happens to them.
When a person is in a love relationship and sees something happening to their partner, they will worry and want to help them in any way they can.
In couple relationships, there are times when one of the parties feels that they can do little or nothing when they see that their partner is being afflicted by a situation that could be of health or any kind.
When a person is loving someone with a mental illness such as depression, it feels it is in a tough battle.
The person who has depression is immersed in a deep sadness that does not allow to carry out its daily activities.
It loses a taste for things it did easily and feels that its life is meaningless.
Loving someone with depression is to understand that there will be difficult and hard days where it can feel that the way the partner, friend or family member acts does it for wanting to provide the other person with some kind of evil.
A person who has depression does not seek to harm anyone, although sometimes some of their behaviours may show that.
The person who has depression does not see beyond, feels stuck, sees no future and feels that no one can help.
A person loving someone with depression should know all the signs and symptoms of depression to understand how the person who has depression lives like this and how to give possible help.
Someone who is loving someone with depression may feel very affected by the disease.
The states of sadness that fill the partner, family or friend make the person next to not know how to cope with this situation.
Depression, although to a lesser extent, affects the people who are around.
Loving someone with depression over days, months and even years make the pain experienced by the person next door more intense.
When a person does not know the symptoms and sees what the person with manifest depression may think of wanting to escape and not being at its side anymore.
In cases where it is a friend who is depressive or one of the parties in the relationship, one of the thoughts that comes to its mind is to move away or escape since, although it hurts to see the person loved suffering from depression, the person does not want to suffer or see the suffering of another and not knowing what to do can end up moving away.
But, when it is a son or a father who suffers it, the pain and the situation, in general, is worse.
It is difficult for a father or a mother to see that his son or daughter is depressed, cannot escape and is not something it would like since it is someone it loves and does not want to see that is in that state.
In cases where teenagers and young adults suffer from depression, suicide death rates are the most marked within the age range of 15-29 years.
Being a friend, a relative or the other person in a relationship that suffers from depression, he or those who are at it side suffer a lot from seeing that person they love.
Sometimes they try to lift their spirits, motivate them to seek help and when they see that this does not work they feel worse.
What is depression?
Depression is an emotional disorder that causes a feeling of constant sadness and a loss of interest in performing different activities.
It affects the feelings, thoughts and behaviour of a person.
The person with depression has difficulty performing daily activities and sometimes feels that it is not worth living.
A person suffering from depression manifests a series of symptoms that occur during much of the day, almost every day and may consist of:
- Feelings of sadness, emptiness or desire to cry.
- Annoyance, irritability or frustration, even for minor issues
- Sleep disturbances, such as insomnia or sleeping too much
- Anxiety, restlessness or agitation
- Loss of interest or pleasure in most of the usual or all activities, such as sexual intercourse, hobbies or sports
- Difficulty thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things
- Physical problems such as headache or back pain
- Frequent or recurring thoughts about death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts or suicide
- Tiredness and lack of energy
- Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
Factors why a person may have depression
Depression is a disease that has multiple causes. Cultural and biological factors come into play. Some people have a tendency to become more depressed to others due to issues related to genetics.
The risk for a person having depression increases if a father/mother or brother/sister has the disease.
In the brain, the amygdala is the main core of control and feelings, also controlling responses of satisfaction or fear.
It has been found that a depressive person the amygdala is decoupled from the emotional network, causing situations that have an emotional impact to be processed with less precision, and, therefore, that they perceive the neutral facts as negative.
On a cultural level, a person can develop depression when it does not handle situations such as dismissal from a job, the death of a loved one or the end of a relationship.
The person has a hard time assuming that everything is over, that person is not there and begins to sink into a state of deep sadness and hopelessness.
How can a person cope with the situation when is loving someone with depression?
Loving someone with depression is difficult since nobody wants to see a person who loves to suffer because of this or another disease.
Loving someone with depression is having to draw strength to be that support of that person who suffers.
The person needs to be able to give a smile to the depressed one and tell that everything will work out.
The person who has depression does not see it that way, but understanding and empathy are one of the keys to helping that person take the first step.
The person has to understand that someone who has depression doesn’t want to be like this, it wants help, but it doesn’t know and the person next to must give it unconditional support so the depressed one can get out of there.
It is a process, the depressive person will not stop being like this overnight.
The person who is loving someone with depression should investigate the disease and seek professional help.
The words of encouragement and motivation are not enough for someone depressed, and since each person has different causes for which they are depressed, the mental health professional will help them discover why they are depressed and the right treatment.
If the person with depression accepts the help of an area professional, the best thing that the person next to can do is to continue supporting him so that he can continue with his treatment and have a speedy recovery.
The person who loves someone with depression should not feel bad, although it is difficult to not feel in certain cases.
No-fault should be attributed as it is not the cause of the disease.
The person must understand that their reasons for helping are good and even if it feels it is doing it a little.
Being there next to the depressive person can help them know that they are not alone.
The person who loves someone with depression should not force or create a negative conversation about the subject, the depressive person already has enough with what is happening.
Maintaining a positive attitude is the best but not an exaggerated positivity since the depressive person will not believe it and can be more depressed.
Loving someone with depression is not trying to fix that person, it is simply being by its side, showing that it is not alone and giving all possible support so that the person can get ahead.
FAQs about loving someone with depression
Is it right for someone to get away from a person they love even having depression?
It is not right to abandon someone who needs help, but there are times when the person does not know what to do and prefers to walk away since it understands that it could cause more damage to the other person and also.
It is not right to judge someone who moves away from someone they love and has depression since each person has their ideas and internal struggles.
It may be that the person who moves away has gone through a depressive period and feels that being next to someone who loves and has depression can cause it to fall into that state.
What can a person do if the person with depression refuses their help?
The best thing a person can do is stay a little out of the way, not move away, but if the person has been pressing and insisting for the person with depression to seek help, they may feel that they are forcing them to do something they do not want.
Sometimes it’s not that the person with depression doesn’t want help, but the way it is being told maybe is the wrong one.
What happens if a person with depression does not receive treatment?
Studies have indicated that a person with untreated depression can influence structures such as the prefrontal cortex, affecting the ability to make decisions, solve problems, reflect, etc.
Changes in the size of various brain areas and inflammations occur and the amount of oxygen that reaches the brain is reduced.
These changes affecting the brain end up affecting the functionality of a person in their daily lives and is going to be less able to do everyday things.
It can also lead the person to death since suicidal thoughts are in their mind until they reach the point of committing the act.
Does a person decide to have depression?
No, a person does not decide to have depression.
The depressive person wants to get out of that state, but sees everything grey and negative and doesn’t know what to do.
It lacks the tools to get out of that dark path.
Who is more likely to get depressed, men or women?
Women are approximately twice as likely as men to suffer depression.
Many factors such as puberty, menstrual problems, pregnancy, postpartum depression, menopause and culture can increase the risk of depression in women.
Loving someone with depression is hard for a person.
Seeing the loved one go through this mental disorder that afflicts a large part of the world’s population shows their seriousness and the importance of their awareness.
Someone who has not experienced depression directly, loving someone with depression makes them understand that the disease does not have a type of person whom it affects, anyone can have it.
The best thing a person who loves someone with depression can do is show empathy and understanding.
Listening to the depressive person when they decide to speak and be their support will help the depressive person not feel so alone and move forward in the search for professional help.
Side Note: I have tried and tested various products and services to help with my anxiety and depression. See my top recommendations here, as well as a full list of all products and services our team has tested for various mental health conditions and general wellness.
- When Someone You Love is Depressed: How to Help Your Loved One Without Losing Yourself
- Living with Depression: How to cope when your partner is depressed
- How You Can Survive When They’re Depressed: Living and Coping with Depression Fallout
- Depression Fallout
- Love Someone Who Has Depression? This is What You Need to Know
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What we recommend for depression
If you are suffering from depression then ongoing professional counselling may be your ideal first point of call. Counselling will utilize theories such as Cognitive behavioural therapy which will help you live a more fulfilling life.