Love vs Infatuation: Understanding the difference

This article will focus on comparing and contrasting love and infatuation. It will explain how each of them makes you feel, what are the signs that you are experiencing one, or the other, and how infatuation can affect you.

Love vs Infatuation: Understanding the difference

There are differences when it comes to love and infatuation. Let’s discuss them.

They mean different things

Love is perceived as a sense of attachment, devotion, or even enthusiasm towards the person you are going out with. While infatuation may be what most call the honeymoon phase, known as that moment when the relationship is based on euphoria, fun dates, lust, and even an idealized view of your partner 

They make you see your partner differently

When you are in love with someone you likely see them for who they are. There are no more games, or fantasies about who your partner is, and how they will behave. In infatuation, because you have this idealized view of your partner, you may not know them deeply, and in their vulnerable self.

Forming these bonds happen at different timing

Infatuation is often related to the lust, and attraction you have for the person, so it is something that can be formed faster. But love is often something that is built over a long period.

The connection is different

When you are in love you feel deeply connected to the person in your life. And you have a sense that the connection with this person is based on reality, not on the fantasy you have about them. But with infatuation, it is possible to say that this connection will be different from love in the sense that it is more shallow.

How you feel changes

Love will often allow you to be at ease, even when you and your partner are not together. There is no need to keep tabs on one another, and you feel safe with how you feel, and with what your partner feels for you. 

When you are in love and have a healthy relationship, it is possible that you have emotional safety, and feel at peace with it, which allows you to show yourself vulnerable to the other person.

Different from infatuation, in which you may feel a little insecure since it is all so new. It can make you constantly think about where your partner is, and it can go to a point of making you obsessed with it, and cause you to think about your partner all the time. And this can put you on a roller coaster of emotions.

The commitment is different

When you are infatuated with someone, there is no deep commitment to this person, or even to building a life together. But when you are in love with someone, it is common for the two of you to begin to think about having a life together and start to work towards that.

Can infatuation turn into love?

Yes, infatuation can turn into love, and cause the two people to have a long, and stable relationship. But there is no timetable or rule to how this can happen. Since infatuation is often connected to the honeymoon phase, which often goes on from a few weeks, up until a few years, infatuation may go on for this long.

But instead of paying attention to how long it takes for infatuation to turn into love, you may want to try and understand if the two of you are close to committing, and at some may stop looking for other people, because they want to see what will happen in this relationship the two of you are building, or simply because others may not seem so interesting.

And even though there is no rule about how infatuation will turn into love, going through things that strengthen your relationship can make it easier for that to happen. Having a sense of commitment to the person you are with, taking the time to get to know them, and being able to compromise may help that process.

What are the signs I am experiencing infatuation?

If you are still wondering if you are experiencing infatuation, know that when that is the case, apart from all that has been said before, you may feel that you have feelings for this person, even if the two of you haven’t had too many interactions yet.

You can feel like this person is perfect for you, showing that you have an idealized view of your partner. Because the physical and sexual attraction is so strong at this moment, you may focus more on that rather than learning deeper things about your partner.

And because you have more of a shallow knowledge of this person, you may know them as well as other acquaintances do. You may learn more about them from their social media interactions, or from interacting with their friends rather than learning from them sharing their deepest feelings with you.

Since infatuation is often connected to the fantasy, and idea you have of the person, if at any moment you come across something that puts those ideas into question, you may just choose to overlook it, which later can become a problem.

When infatuated, you are often trying to impress the person you are with, and the idea that they have chosen you, or that you have them in your life is something that brings you joy.

What are the downsides of infatuation?

As said before, infatuation can be a part of the process of falling in love with someone. It all depends on how each person deals with it. 

Because it is still the moment you are getting to know the person, there is a lot of insecurity in it. You can be constantly worried about where this relationship is going, what your partner is doing if they are dating other people, or where they are.

This tends to affect everyone, and people that already suffer from anxiety can have an even harder time. Infatuation can also be a problem if you begin to obsess over the person. This may be a common effect of insecurity, and that can be extremely detrimental to your mental health.

Infatuation can also be a problem when you can only see the fantasy, and the idealized version of the person you are with. That prevents you from getting to know them deeply but also doesn’t give you the chance to know who you are in a relationship with.

In that, you may disregard red flags, and keep on going in a relationship even when, in other cases, you would have moved past it.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): What is the difference between love and infatuation? 

What are the first signs I am falling in love? 

As you are starting a new relationship, there may be some signs that you are falling in love. When that is happening, you may feel adventurous, and constantly curious about your partner. When they are dealing with something difficult, you may be affected by it too.

You may also be having a lot of fun, and new ideas of things the two of you could do together, and for some time they will become your priority. The sext between the two of you is great, and you behave more affectionately with the other.

The two of you may start to discuss your future together, and you may often daydream about them. When you are in love, you may have the perception that this relationship will last forever, and you feel completely safe around them.

When should I say I love you?

There is no timetable as to when you should tell someone you love them. What you should know is that saying that is a big step in the relationship, and you should only say it when you are completely sure about how you are feeling.

With that said, there has been research done concerning that question, and most people assume you should say it as soon as you feel it, others think you should wait a few months before saying it, and some people, you should wait a year.

It is also known that men will say “I love you” before women do. Most men will often say it within 3 months, while women will wait 6 months for it.

How can I make a guy like me?

If you want to make a guy likes you, there are some things you can do. You can ask them for favors, and compliment them, just remember to not do it all the time. When you are talking to them, or closer to them, make sure to keep your eye contact for a little longer than usual, and use his name when you are talking to them.

Mirroring his gestures can also be a way to do that, and let them see all aspects of you. Letting him talk about himself can also show them you are interested and make them like you. But you should also focus on having a life besides them, and make sure to show them that you have similar interests.

Asking for his opening, or even his advice on something can make them like you, as well as being inviting, or warm when they get close to you. At that moment, physical posture is important, so be sure to smile, and touch him casually. Having a sense of humor, and showing yourself as vulnerable will also allow them to like you.

Do I like them or am I just lonely?

You may like them if you are always hoping, and wishing the two of you could be together, and if you feel good about yourself when you are around them. When you are lonely, likely, you will just take any loan they make, without considering your needs.

You may also try to ask yourself what you like about them. If it is just about how available, or attentive they are, it is probably a sign that you are lonely. But if you can identify traits and ideas you can admire about them, it may mean that you like them.

Aside from that, if you are more concerned about the title and status of the relationship than the connection the two of you are forming, it may be that you are in this relationship just because you want someone so you can tell people, or even yourself that you have a person in your life.

What makes men infatuated?

Men will most likely be infatuated due to physical attraction at first. It can be a smile during a conversation that will call to their attention, for example.

Conclusion

This article focused on discussing the difference between love and infatuation. It explained how each of them will often make you feel, and what are the signs from each of them. Aside from that, the article explained the downsides of infatuation.

If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write them in the section below.

References

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-flux/202106/5-ways-tell-its-love-and-not-just-infatuation?amp

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/is-it-love-or-infatuation-how-to-know-when-youre-infatuated/

https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a27914966/difference-between-love-and-infatuation/