In this article, we will be discussing the topic: long-distance relationship depression. We will be taking a look at the psychological effects, and effective coping strategies to maintain personal health as well the relationship, in a long-distance relationship.
Long-distance relationship depression
There are certainly healthy ways through which you can maintain your long-distance relationship. Managing a long-distance relationship with your work life and social life can be challenging and overwhelming at times. Also, you might feel occasionally sad and distressed for not being able to meet your partner, on a consistent basis.
Below given are some ways through which you can deal with long-distance relationship depression:
Build your hobbies
Having a life outside the relationship is very important. Try to invest time in activities and hobbies that bring you joy and excitement. Dig out your old hobbies and amusements which you used to indulge in, when you were single.
Find something that you are truly passionate about and work on it, whenever you find the time. It could be painting, dancing, oration, or anything under the sun!.
Also, you can try doing something new with your friends and family or plan on making mini-trips with them to your favourite hangouts or other destinations. Try not to isolate yourself from the rest of the world when you are in a relationship.
Talk out your feelings
Communication is an indispensable tool in any relationship. Talking and discussing, even the uncomfortable matters that bother either of you, form an integral part of keeping your relationship steady and hassle-free. Never develop the habit of bottling up your feelings and letting them loose, during an argument or at other inappropriate times.
It’s bound tobe taxing on your partner as well as on your well-being. So, make it a point to let out your genuine thoughts and feelings to your most comfortable sources that could be a diary, a close friend, your therapist, or your colleague.
Besides, matters that have to be discussed with your partner should not be moved aside constantly, or discussed with a third person. It’s sure to complicate things in the future and lead to a strained relationship.
consider your other relationships equally important
The best advantage of a long-distance relationship is the ample time you get to spend with the rest of your loved ones, besides your partner. You are rewarded with the perks of extra time to plan and hang out with your close friends, family, or work buddies, at your leisure. Use this time judiciously and foster healthy relationships with other people in your life that are important.
These people are those who are always going to be by your side, through thick and thin, most of the times.
Keep the expectations real
Time and space are two most compromised factors in regular relationships where two partners are living together. However, this is not the case in long-distance relationships. You cannot always expect to meet or be on a call with your partner, be it a phone call or video call.
You both have your own lives, outside the relationship and expecting your partner to communicate with you throughout the day is a far-fetched and unrealistic expectation, especially if you both live in different time zones.
Communicate about the end goal of your relationship with your partner and have a mutual, peaceful discussion about what you want the future to hold for you both. Reevaluate and reflect upon your personal expectations and hopes and see if it is compatible with your current relationship.
Take part in support groups
Feeling isolated and left out can take a quick toll on you, when in a long-distance relationship. In such instances, try joining groups or communities with people who are in the same position as you. This will help you to open up and share your personal experiences with others in the group and vice versa.
You could also make new friends from the group and plan regular hang out sessions with them, if needed.
Indulge in solo time
Take yourself out for a dinner date or beach date. Go out for long, slow walks or splurge some money on shopping for your favorite goodies. Romancing and going out for dates need not always be with your partner alone. Some self-love is not bound to bring any harm. Loving and pampering yourself is just as important as loving and caring for your partner.
Tending to your mental and physical needs regularly will naturally increase the strength and joy of your partner and the relationship over time.
Don’t be hard on yourself
Long-distance relationships can be emotional rollercoasters and its not going to help if you are going to be extra hard on yourself for every other guilty feeling or though you experience. Maintaining your good spirits and your well being is the best you ca do for you and your partner.
So pat yourself on the back for trying your best and keep going without compromising on your well being and happiness.
Psychological effects of long-distance relationships
Fear of missing out
Fear of missing out can be defined as a type of anxiety of missing an important or joyful event in the absence of your presence and where your partner might be present. It is a real phenomenon and rather, a painful one. The feeling of being missed out is an extremely disappointing feeling and especially, in long-distance relationships. Sometimes, you might begin to feel that your partner is ignoring you or not paying enough attention to you in times of need.
You might also feel as if they are changing and finding their happiness without involving you in the process. It is a very taxing emotion and needs a lot of acceptance from the self to be able to deal with it.
Insecurities arise in relationships and can be difficult to overcome, in a jiffy. You would constantly want to know your partner’s whereabouts and what they are up to. This constant urge to be on the radar all the time can be extremely harmful and destructive to the sanity of your relationship.
Distance makes trusting a very difficult process and leads to possessiveness. You start to overthink for every other sign that comes your way and begin to obsess over them. It is very important to keep your insecure thoughts away from making judgments about your partner.
Extreme possessiveness in relationships, especially long-distance relationships, lead to jealousy and unwanted thoughts about your partner’s loyalty. It creates a negative impact on your relationship. Besides, constantly being jealous and picking up arguments with your partner about the same may end up ruining a perfectly good relationship.
The important thing to keep in mind is that there is nothing to lose by trusting your partner. If someone is planning to cheat on you, there is particularly nothing you can do to stop it. So overthink and developing ill thoughts about the same do more harm than good.
Stress is a part of long-distance relationships. When you and your partner is stressed out, conflicts and misunderstandings will occur. Annoyance and hurt feelings follow, inevitably.
It leads to you and your partner being at each other’s throats and could even lead to the ending of a relationship.
Anxiety occurs mostly out of dreading over hypothetical situations that might occur, which could possibly harm your relationship. Giving time and space for such thoughts leads you to be overly anxious and panicky for no good reasons. It affects you, your partner, as well as your close friends and family.
The distance makes it much harder that you tend to get in a loop of what if or maybe thoughts, constantly putting yourself on the edge.
There are girls who worry because their depressed boyfriend wants to break up.
Side Note: I have tried and tested various products and services to help with my anxiety and depression. See my top recommendations here, as well as a full list of all products and services our team has tested for various mental health conditions and general wellness.
BetterHelp: A Better Alternative
Those who are seeking therapy online may also be interested in BetterHelp. BetterHelp offers plenty of formats of therapy, ranging from live chats, live audio sessions and live video sessions. In addition, unlimited messaging through texting, audio messages and even video messages are available here.
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In this article, we discussed about: long-distance relationship depression. We examined the ways to deal with long-distance relationship depression and the psychological effects of being in a long-distance relationship.
What we recommend for Depression
If you are suffering from depression then ongoing professional counselling could be your ideal first point of call. Counselling will utilize theories such as Cognitive behavioural therapy which will help you live a more fulfilling life.
FAQs: long-distance relationship depression
How do I stop overthinking in a long-distance relationship?
Try to focus on the good aspects of your relationship such as the time you both get for yourself and for your personal growth. Communicate in abundance. Talk about everything that bothers you with your partner and seek out solutions, together after mutual discussions and contemplations.
Do not listen to your inner-critic voice. Try to avoid it as much as you can and keep yourself hydrated and rejuvenated at all times possible.
When should you give up on a long-distance relationship?
You can think of reevaluating or ending your long-distance relationship if the following things are being observed:
There is no clear communication between you and your partner
Your partner is hesitant and unwilling to introduce you to their close friend circle
Mutual trust is not being maintained or being compromised frequently
You are never able to see each other, even after consistent planning
Dissatisfaction with your sex life
You and your partner do not share the same expectations about the future of the relationship
Your partner ends up cheating more than once, deliberately.
How do I stop being paranoid about my boyfriend?
If you feel insecurities and constant doubts about your partner are ruining your peace and your equation with your partner, try developing the following aspects
Work on building and maintaining your self-esteem
Try to identify the root cause of your insecurity and why is it persistent
Learn to trust yourself and your partner for the better
While overthinking, gently remind yourself that its okay to be overwhelmed and try to shift your attention to something more relevant or productive
Make enough mental space for yourself and your partner
Talk to your partner about your concerns in a non-judgemental and non-condemning manner.
Do not compare your relationship with your peer relationships or your previous relationships.
Is worrying a sign of love?
Worry should be viewed as a by-product of your relationship. It is quite natural and normal to worry about your partner during difficult times or when they are not around you for a long time. When you love someone and worry about them, you are loving them in spite of your worry and not because of it.
What is a toxic relationship?
Toxic relationship is the one where your partner doe snot support you or accept you for who you are genuinely. There will be constant conflicts and misunderstandings which goes uncleared for long periods in the relationship. In a toxic relationship, your partner also seeks to undermine you or compete with you frequently. It is unhealthy, mentally exhausting, and detrimental to one’s overall growth as a human being.
What are the red flags in a relationship?
One major red flag in a relationship is when everyday conversations, interactions, and events become solely about your partner and you feel excluded. Also, lookout for constant manipulation and abuse of power over your freedom as an individual. Frequent avoidance of important conversations and ignorance is also a clear, red flag to be considered.