Is my therapist tired of me?

In this blog we will discuss a few signs that could indicate if your therapist is tired of you. 

We will also discuss if therapists get tired of their clients and what you should do if you think your therapist is tired of you.

Is my therapist tired of me?

Let us look at some of the possible signs that could indicate if your therapist is tired of you:

Feeling disappointed

If you end your sessions with a feeling of disappointment- Every. Single. Time.- this could be an sign that something is amiss in the relationship you share with your therapist, 

This is probably a sign that you did not get what you needed from the session nor did you feel supported during the session either- which could be a sign that something is not right.

It is possible that because your therapist is tired of you, they have sort of given up or have begun to pull away from you which is affecting your progress in therapy.

However, you have to assess these feelings of disappointment with caution since your negative feeling could also be because your emotions are all over the place after meeting with your psychologist since therapy sessions can be very good and still elicit painful feelings.

Things are tense and weird in sessions

It is possible that if you have had a tense session with your therapist prior to the sessions that you start feeling like they are tired of you, it could be a sign that something is wrong. 

If you got into a heated exchange and your therapist has not talked it out so that you both can move out of that experince, it is likely that your therapist is not being ethical. 

When things go unresolved and you feel misunderstood or awkward or even more dangerous, your therapist makes you feel guilty, it’s an indicator that your therapist is not being ethical and your therapist is getting tired of you. 

Your gut is telling you something is not right

If the things you discuss and your therapist brings up an issue or a suggestion that does not feel right to you, it is time for you to think critically about your therapists. 

While some of the suggestions that your therapist might not be what you want to hear and some of the things might go against your unhealthy beliefs about yourself, if you’re consistently disagreeing or feeling resentful about the therapist’s opinion, then this could be a sign that your therapist and you are not on the same page. 

A sign that your therapist is tired of you is when this kind of experince comes new- meaning that you did not feel this sort of gut feeling in prior sessions. 

Therapist is being flaky

What this means is that your therapist tends to run late, cancels last minute, takes calls and responds to messages and calls during your session, always reschedules and pushes your sessions back- could all be a sign that your therapist is tired of you and is avoiding you. 

If this happens, this is a sign of unethical behaviour- and they are avoiding you for some reason- in this case it is best that you find someone else. 

Your therapist does not seem to be communicating with you

If you’re experiencing communication issues, and your therapist is talking too much or not at all this could be a sign that they are just not interested because they are tired and fed up of you. 

While your therapist might not talk as much in the initial sessions as the sessions are primarily for you to take centre stage, if your therapist  does not talk to you nor do they seem to be paying attention, then this is not a normal nor ethical behaviour.

You feel judged

If your therapist’s behaviours and words tend to make you feel judged, shamed, and embarrassed about yourself, it could be a sign that your therapist is being unethical and this could stem from the possibility that your therapist is tired of you. 

This could include snide remarks, eye rolls, non attending body language, or they might even accuse you of over exaggerating, saying that you are the problem etc. 

There is no progress

If you have noticed that you are not making any progress in the session irrespective of the work you have been doing for some time, it could be possible that your therapist is not doing a good job at working being attentive to your care and it could be because they are tired of you.

If you have answered yes for all of these signs, it is possible that your therapist is tired of you and it is affecting your relationship and your growth. 

Your therapist being tired of you does not mean that you are doing something wrong, therapists are allowed to feel certain ways about their clients but that does not mean that they bring it to the session and make their clients feel negatively about themselves. 

If you are made to feel guilty and shamed by your therapist for the way the feel about you, they are being unethical. An ethical therapist should never make a client feel like a problem, rather in the case that the therapist is unable to work with the client, it is ethical for the therapist to refer you to someone else gently and kindly.

Let us take a look at what are some of the things you can do if you feel like your therapist is tired of you.

What should you do if your therapist seems to be tired of you?

If you find that your therapist is behaving with disinterest and seems to be tired of you, here are a few things that you can do:

Bring it up in sessions

When you are able to meet the therapist or talk to them, bring up your concerns and let them know that their behaviour has been affecting you.

You have to understand that therapists are people too and they cannot always correct even if they try very hard to be ethical, there are moments that their human side can get the best of them.

Bringing it up in the session can help you and your therapist develop mindfulness as to what is happening in the case of the other person, build empathy, and eventually more trust. 

It is best that you talk to them directly, bringing up your concerns and how you feel when they tend to question your testimony as well as have a discuss about how this makes you feel,

It’s perfectly okay to leave it at that. However, if you’re comfortable you and your therapist can work a way around the issue and discuss what each of your boundaries lie as therapist and client. 

Explore your feelings

When your therapist seems tired of you or behaves in ways that shows that they are not interested, you might feel anxious and also a sense of alienation and loneliness. The feeling that you are alone in your struggle can be very scary and heartbreaking. 

What you can do is that you take this chance to deal directly with all these feelings either with the same therapist, provided that the therapist has been ethical and has corrected their orientation or clarified the situation or with a new therapist.

It is important that you work on these feelings because not believing your struggles can be an extremely traumatic experience and it can hinder your healing and therapeutic journey as well.

Do therapists get tired of their clients?

Yes, therapists do get tired of their clients. Therapists are humans too and they might have certain opinions and feelings about their clients because of how their clients behave in sessions; however, these opinions and feelings should never affect the relationship or the session. 

If it is affecting the sessions and the relationship, it is unethical and dangerous as the client will eventually pick up on it and eventually hurt the client,

Usually therapists tend to develop negative feelings-like being tired of the client or bored in sessions-for their clients due to the following reasons:

They are picking up on how the client is avoiding vulnerability.

They are able to pick up on the patient’s disconnection, boredom or avoidance of their emotions in the session,

This usually happens because the therapist mirrors the client’s attitudes as the client behaviors will activate the therapist’s mirror neurons, leading the therapist to feel disconnected, bored, as well as they might begin to avoid talking about important things in session all because the client is also doing the same. 

When therapists get bored or emotionally disconnected, they tend to feel tired and this can further make them behave in ways that might appear to be of disinterest to the client. 

Is your therapist being ethical?

If you start noticing that your therapist appears to be tired and bored and they tend to have a blank stare when you are pouring your heart out, or they seem distracted and uninterested, that is a dangerous sign. 

An ethical therapist knows how to listen to you and is attentive to the conversation to find an underlying message, if this is not what they are doing- it could be a sign that they are unethical. 

It is important that you make sure that your therapist is being ethical and some of the ways you can discern that for yourself includes:

An unethical therapist is that they judge you or shame you for what you might have said or decisions you have made etc. 

An unempathetic therapist is an unethical one, so if you feel like your therapist is judging you, you should consider moving on from this therapist. 

When you are working with a therapist, and you notice your therapist is starting to take advantage of your vulnerability, you need to find yourself a new therapist immediately. 

This could manifest in ways such as, they ask you out for dinner or they tend to make sexual suggestions or romantic propositons etc. 

If you find that your therapist has not been mindful in their responses via email, chat, or calls nor have they helped you feel safe, heard, and supported and the non responses continue- it is possible that your therapist is breaching ethicality and it is best for you to move on to someone else. 

Therapist confidentiality is a major ethical aspect of the mental health professional field. 

This means that your therapist should not be sharing any information about you unless they think you are an immediate danger to yourself or someone else. 

If you have any reason to believe that they have broken confidentiality, for example your details with someone else who they are not supposed to consult with, you have the right to terminate and move on. 

In such a case where your therapist is exhibiting unethical behaviours, it is very likely that they are being unethical. It is best that you choose to change therapists and that you find someone else to work with.

Should you change your therapist?

If you find that your therapist has not been mindful and have made changes after you have confronted them, and they have not made effort to help you feel safe, heard, and supported after you have addressed the issue to them, it is possible that your therapist is breaching ethicality and it is best for you to move on to someone else. 

In such a case, you can let them know that you would like to terminate the sessions with them and be direct in your feedback while doing so. 

You have every right to change therapists if you find that the way this therapist works is not the kind of support you need or require. 

For every therapist, there is a certain ethical guideline that one has to follow. Therapists that are unethical pose the threat of harming a client. 

So once you have had the conversation, pay attention to how they are accommodating of your needs while you also respect their boundaries as your therapist. 

Pay attention to how they are dealing with your crisis needs and your anxieties, make sure that you feel safe and that you trust your gut. 

Conclusion

In this blog we have discussed a few signs that could indicate if your therapist is tired of you. 

We have also discussed if therapists get tired of their clients and what you should do if you think your therapist is tired of you.

References

11 Signs It’s Time to Break Up with Your Therapist. Shape. https://www.shape.com/lifestyle/mind-and-body/signs-its-time-break-your-therapist

Do Therapists Ever Get Bored Of Their Job? Sail. https://sailemagazine.com/2020/03/do-therapists-ever-get-bored-of-their-job/#:~:text=There%20are%20different%20reasons%20for,assuming%20that%20they%20know%20enough.

Tired or Bored: When Your Therapist Yawns. Mentalhelpnet. https://www.mentalhelp.net/blogs/tired-or-bored-when-your-therapist-yawns/