Is it normal to feel lonely and sexually frustrated?

This article will discuss what is common and what are warning signs when people feel sexually frustrated. In that, the article will explain how this can make a person feel lonely and why it can, in some cases, even cause a person to get depressed.

The article will also offer a guideline about how people can deal with that situation and improve their quality of life.

Is it normal to feel lonely and sexually frustrated?

Yes, going through periods of being sexually frustrated and lonely might happen in everyone’s life. But let’s understand first what it means to be sexually frustrated.

To be sexually frustrated means you are not having your sexual needs are not getting satisfied as you desired or needed. It can be because you are not aroused enough, or you are both experimenting with orgasms in your relationships. 

People can also get frustrated if they feel ashamed by the type of sexual relations or encounters they are having, as well as not having sex the way you wanted to.

It can happen also because a person wants to have sex and their partner doesn’t, or because a person wants to have sex and doesn’t have someone to do it with. To understand if you are feeling sexually frustrated, in case it is not clear to you yet, one might ask themselves how their sexual experienced have been going.

If their sex drive has changed, if there is something, like a medical condition or medication impacting on it, or if it is something about the moment they are living. For example, a person dealing with work-related stress might be less open to sexual rations. Or is it something related to the relationship they are in, or desires they have to explore.

If you understand you are sexually frustrated, how to act on it depends on each person. Feeling sexually frustrated, being single or in a couple can be extremely hard. In both scenarios, it can cause a person to feel disconnected and lonely. 

If a person is feeling sexually frustrated and doesn’t find a way to deal with that, it can come to impact their work and financial life, as well as how you will treat your partner, and in all that, the person might start to show impulsive behaviors. They can cheat, or start skipping work.

So the person doesn’t feel so frustrated and alone, some things can be done to cope with the situation. Let’s discuss what they are. 

What are ways that I can feel more satisfied and less alone?

If a person is looking to deal with how sexually frustrated and lonely they feel, there are some ways to do so. If a person is single, or their partner is far away, so sex with another person is not a possibility, masturbating can be something to help you explore your desires. 

But to some people, this might be a hard thing to do. People can have a sex-negative upbringing, which will make it difficult for them to experiment. If that is the case, maybe exercising can help you release the energy while also bringing a sense of well-being from the endorphins.

You can also redirect your energy to other matters, maybe work, or volunteering, this can help you not to feel so frustrated and ruminating on the fact. It might also be that you are in the need of physical contact, not sex, so having someone to hug can, sometimes, relief your frustration. And when it gets too hard, try to remember this is a moment in time, it will pass.

But if a person is single and open to sexual experiences, along with masturbating, they might benefit from having a one-night stand. Just remember that people should consent to it, and practice it safely.

Another way to deal with sexual frustration is maybe by trying a friend with benefits situation. You might have a friend that you are attracted to, it might be good to talk about it, and if they are also open to it, you can have a sexual relationship without dating.

Opening yourself sexually to someone you date is also a way to deal with it. It can be someone you met on a dating app or someone your friends set you up with, but it might be a chance to have sex and also meet someone new. And who knows what else can come out of this.

But if a person is in a relationship, and feels sexually frustrated, you might want to try and initiate sex, it can be inviting your partner to do something different, and maybe you both needed something new.

Communicating is a must in this case. It might be a hard task to start, but after you understand why you are sexually frustrated, you can share with them and tell them what are your needs. And if you are both open to trying and improving the sexual relationship, take your usual moves off the table.

But if through all these attempts you still feel frustrated, it might be time to look for professional help. It might be good to look for a therapist and discuss what is going on, or even a sex therapist do discuss other ways to improve your sexual life.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): Is it common to feel lonely and sexually frustrated?

Can relationships end because of sexual frustration?

Yes, being sexually frustrated can have an impact on the relationship. If a person is feeling like their sexual needs are not being met in a relationship, they might start resenting their partners, which can cause them to distant themselves.

Of course not all sexual frustration is connected to the relationship, sexual frustration can also be related to a person’s difficulty in exploring their sexual desires. So if the person doesn’t allow themselves to try, this frustration will only get higher. 

But when in a relationship, although it seems hard, having a partner that you can share your desires, might make you feel validated and more comfortable to explore with them.

On the other hand, if they don’t communicate about what they want, it might feel like a wall is being built in between the couple, and not talking about their sex life, can turn into not talking about other important things. So as a way to not let sexual frustration end the relationship, people should be open to communicating about it.

Can I get depressed from sexual frustration?

When a person feels sexually frustrated it might be that they distance themselves from their partners, and have a hard time finding a release for the energy they have inside them.

This isolation, the feeling of not being understood, and the loneliness that comes with it can cause a person to experience sadness, maybe lose pleasure in things they used to enjoy. It might not be depression, but if this goes on for a prolonged period, it can be that the person gets depressed.

What can I do if I feel lonely?

When a person is feeling lonely it might be good to first understand what type of loneliness it is. If it is a need for a sexual companion, a need for emotional connection, or even a physical need.

If a person feels lonely and in need of a sexual companion, they might want to look for a sexual partner. If they are single, there are many ways to do that. If they are in a relationship and want to explore new things, they might need to communicate with their partners.

If they need emotional connection, it might be good to consider what are the relationships they have in their life. It might be that they feel disconnected from their group of friends, their partners, and other people they have in their lives. If that is the case, it might be important to think if there is a possibility to change that relationship.

If that is not the case, a person might want to open themselves up for new opportunities and possibilities to connect with other people. It might be by starting a new hobby, participating in new activities. Things that might help you connect to new people.

What are signs someone is sexually frustrated? 

When a person is feeling sexually frustrated, it can be that they start showing some signs of it. The first thing is that they will start to overreact negatively about things. 

This is because they will be more irritated, it can also make you hypersensitive, which can make it hard to even make jokes with you. If you are in a relationship, you might start to become overly jealous of your partner, becoming enraged at any sign of affection they show to others.

It can also be that they completely give up having sex in their lives. When a person goes a long time without sex, they can stop taking good care of themselves, and surrender to the idea it will never happen again. 

And all your sexual satisfaction can come through what your friends tell you. Living vicariously through their experience can be a sign that you are having trouble even looking for it.

And finally, when you are sexually frustrated you might replace that life stimulus with another. It can be work, exercising, and most people turn to food as a replacement, especially sweets. Those will give you a momentaneous sense of well-being.

Can a long relationship cause someone to become sexually frustrated?

When a person is in a long-term relationship, it might be common to have some sexual matters during that period. People can grow complacent, and the routine can take over, making people forget to invest time and energy in their sex life.

If that is going on in your relationship, try to communicate with your partner and understand what has happened. This should be a talk without any accusations, but with honesty, compassion, and care. Tell them how it has been for you, and listen to what they have to say.

Hopefully, through that, you will find new ways to explore and improve your sex life.


This article discussed how common it is for people to feel sexually frustrated, how it can make a person feel more alone, as well as how, at times, can make a person depressed. 

Aside from that, the article offered some tips on ways to deal with your loneliness and your sexual life as a way to improve your perception of well-being.

If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write it in the section below.


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