There is a time when all introverted personality types feel like outcasts to society. But there is the only introvert type that might feel more of an outsider than any other type and that is INTJ female personality type.
While most of the INTJ men can fit inside the company of other men or groups somehow, INTJ females are not that much comfortable and might not fit in with other females or even with anyone else.
They are not easily understood and more reserved in the way they approach others which might end up in other people feeling distanced from them without even trying to understand their situation.
It is hard for them to hold a conversation on their own as their immediate response is a blunt, no-nonsense statement that left the other person not much to talk about as a result of ending the conversation.
In this article INFJ female.
Side Note: I grew this blog to over 500,000 monthly pageviews and it now finances our charitable missions. If you are looking to start a blog as a source of income or to help your community then view our how to start a blog guide.
Portrait of an INTJ Woman
INTJ females don’t generally fit in with other people in general as they are more to themselves and are not easy to approach.
Also, they are one of the rarest types of personality present, maybe rivaled only by INFJ men making approximately 0.5 percent of the population only.
This also means that as an INTJ female, one can go through their whole life without ever meeting another one or very few of the same type.
Some of the main characteristics or personality trends for INTJ female are:
- INTJ females have a kind of a black or gray dress code and usually are found wearing this color, they also are not fond of makeup much and only do a minimal amount of it. They have a preference for function over fashion and several of them have a systematic way of when to wear what so they don’t have to think about it later.
- Several INTJ females are not fond of typical female activities including shopping, dining out or bargaining for price. They have a tendency to shop according to a checklist and finish it quickly and alone.
- INTJ females keep professional and personal lives separate, for the school and work are not social activities and will focus solely on the purpose of accomplishing their goals and getting their targets. They are often found sitting alone, alienated from the bond of a work environment or classroom in their own space thinking about the work they have to do.
- Some people think that they show attitude by the no-nonsense response and it will drop with time or some INTJ females are told off they are intimidating because of their attitude but that is who they are and will be so people might put in more effort to understand them better.
- INTJ females are mostly against the typical gender stereotypes and are more open to careers in the field of information systems, sciences, management, etc.
The biggest difference between other women and INTJ females might be their temperament as most INTJ females are not emotional or warm towards their partners or in a general way as women are typically understood to be but they do have deep emotional feelings and needs, like everyone else, but they like most introverts try to keep them hidden and to themselves.
This might be one of the reasons that make INTJ females more successful and competent in the workplace as they make more rational decisions than emotional ones and will try to do things in an efficient way.
The Biggest Obstacle for INTJ Women
The biggest obstacle for INTJ females is no doubt the question from others why they can’t fit in with other women.
Rather than asking that question, it should be better to try and understand the situation for INTJ females and make things better for them.
As they are asked again and again about the same thing that left them with little friends or made them more of a tomboy when they were children.
They considered the girl stuff as a foreign language that they are expected to speak but are never taught how they can do it.
Many INTJ females are often wondering with their rational thinking and decision making what could they have accomplished if they would have born a man rather than a woman.
Instead of being understood for who they are, they are always questioned for their no-nonsense, blunt approach, and attitude.
Several INTJ females have raised this question over time that if they were males rather than females, will their workplace and families will still care about their personality and demeanors.
It is not only their workplace but it is also hard for them in their daily life and a relationship as INTJ females don’t need most of the things out of a relationship as in a typical one.
As they are more financially independent and goal-oriented, they might not be able to take care of all of the emotional needs of their partners but they still try their best, in return all they need is support and love.
In most cases, INTJ females feel to be at their best when working and it is hard for them to do other things for fun when working with considerate breaks is all they need to have a healthy balance.
Here, is the biggest mistake some INTJ females make, to make their families feel better they try to do other things for fun which might result in them faking happiness and joy and will try to lower their competence which in turn will make them feel outcast but without brilliance.
In case, if they still go on with their work and in their own way they will still feel outcast but with brilliance and with respect in the eyes of others but without having to settle in.
How to Be Happy as an INTJ Woman
It is not impossible to be happy as an INTJ female, whether you find acceptance or not, if you are able to fit in or not, there will always be ways for you to have a better opportunity in accepting the norms or fitting in. Some of the ways that an INTJ female can try are:
1. Seek out other women with big goals.
INTJ females are more focused and inspired so it does not shock one if their goals are big and not in relation to the typical female roles.
It is best to surround oneself with other females with bigger goals which will help you push towards your ambitions with more passion and you will fit right in.
Professional associations, education classes, women’s leadership programs are right up there for an INTJ female to go and meet other ambitious females.
2. Give yourself permission to be you.
It is better not to fake someone who you are not but rather to be the one you are.
Many INTJ females try to act like typical women when they are not drawn to typical women’s traditions so it’s best to be the one you are and do things in a way in which you are comfortable.
As you become more comfortable with who you are, with time others will start seeing you in a new light and start respecting you for who you are and not for who you are not.
3. Seek a partner who understands your emotional needs.
As INTJ females are mostly introverted and keep their feelings and inner self to themselves that does not mean that they don’t have emotional needs and are robots.
They also want to be cared for and want to feel the love of a dear one just like everyone else.
As usually emotional matters are not a strong point for INTJ females so its best to look for a companion who understands you best and can do the emotional heavy lifting for you too and cover up for you in your relationship.
4. Try meeting friends at work.
As it is mostly hard for INTJ females to find acceptance at home or with family members, it is still better for them to look for acceptance at work.
Even though INTJ females are introverted, the feeling of being understood and accepted feels good to them and the feeling of being appreciated seems nice especially for your hard work and passion.
In this matter, colleagues are the best to admire you for your hard work and respect you for your personality and natural competence.
Relationships for the Female INTJ
INTJ females defy the norm typical female stereotype and hate being stereotyped as one into a mundane gender role.
Although they are introverted by nature, they still look for fulfilling personal relationships with another person who can fully understand them and can be there for in the moment of need and will support them through different situations.
INTJ females will mostly look for partners with the same interests in mind, they will prefer to form a relationship with a person who will respect them and will take them as an equal in the relationship.
INTJ females love the care and support of their partner and will do the same for them in both personal and professional life, they will and will also want their partner to support and help each other to achieve their professional and personal goals.
A person who wants to form a relationship with an INTJ female and a close one first have to pass the emotional/mental defenses that an INTJ female has made over a period of time because of being misunderstood and cast aside.
Due to this misunderstanding, the first item in a relationship is to talk with each other and understand each other through conversation.
INTJ females believe that a relationship should not be based on physical interaction but it should be preferred if it is found on emotional and intellectual acceptance and compatibility.
INTJ females have inspired individuals and love challenges so they will also seek a partner who is not only gifted intellectually but is always open to learning new stuff and is able to support them emotionally.
They will also love it if the person bases his arguments on logic and rational thinking rather than emotions which will rather drive them away than keeping them in a relationship.
If an INTJ female does not like a relationship or think it is not working at all, they will end it right away and will like to be rather alone than in a nonfunctional relationship.
You should check the INTJ Male too.
Side Note: I have tried and tested various products and services to help with my anxiety and depression. See my top recommendations here, as well as a full list of all products and services our team has tested for various mental health conditions and general
FAQ about INFJ female
What is an Intj female like?
An INTJ female personality type is typically confident, independent, and happy in solitude.
They are constantly working towards their professional and personal goals and are more career-oriented than any other personality type.
Who are INTJs most compatible with?