If you love something, can you set it free?

This post will answer questions: If you love something, can you set it free? How to set something you love free?

If you love something, can you set it free?

Every individual possesses something or someone that is very dear to them, that empowers them and gives them the strength to make it through life successfully. 

However, sometimes things don’t go the way that one planned them to and start becoming what’s called as toxic, that’s when you have to take a call if you want to live with the toxicity or set it free.

In some cases, the decision to let something or someone free does not follow from a negative experience with an object or a person rather it is taken considering the present situation and the demands of two people and their environment.

 As psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith states “We all have people in our lives whom we stay friends with, out of loyalty. But real life sometimes creates or uncovers things about a person that you just can’t live with. If you have known someone for more than twenty years and want to move on from the relationship, it can be hard to get that person, or what they did, out of your psyche.”

How to set something you love free?

Decide whether it is worth keeping it

Behavior psychologists usually push people to think whether they feel an object or a person is worth the trouble or consequences that one is going through.

Clearly, every kind of relationship is different with different ups and downs do it. If you feel gaslighting is in play it’s always better to have a check-in.

For instance, if a friend is gaslighting you it might be an indication to distance yourself from that friendship the same holds with a romantic relationship, workplace, family members.

Cut off contact

It’s more difficult to distance yourself or heal from distancing from an object or a person when you are in constant touch with it. The best way to let something free is to cut off all possible contacts that you have between yourself and the entity.

This step usually comes in handy when an individual is experiencing a weak moment and is craving for the support or the strength that they initially received from the person.

Acceptance of control of one’s own actions

There are chances that the person or the object that you’re trying to set free might be an integral part of your own life and you might feel a lack of control distancing yourself from them.

However, it is important to remind oneself that one has the most control over one’s own thoughts emotions, and actions than any other external entity.

Take the support of friends and family

When someone finds an object or a person that they truly depend upon they usually tend to forget that they do have other sources of support and strength like their friends and family.

 However when an individual is trying to set free something that they love they can always take the support of these primary sources of strength.

Leaning on friends and family for the support and strength required to set something free also helps in gathering the courage to pick oneself up from a difficult position and move on in life.

Maintain trust and patience with the process

No human likes the feeling of discomfort or negative thoughts and feelings. When one makes up their mind to distance themselves or set free something or someone that they love it accompanies with a set of discomforting and distressing emotions and feelings.

 In order to stop feeling miserable that individual usually lose patience and trust in the process and tries to bounce back on or reverse their decision.

An individual needs to understand that if they do not maintain patience or trust with the process it might lead to a vicious cycle.

 In that, they make temporary changes, and even with a little bit of discomfort that is caused due to it makes way for them to bounce back to something that they decided to set free which in turn might cause feelings of discomfort or distress. 

The best possible way to deal with this is to make oneself aware that things don’t always go as planned and one must take control of their decisions and their actions in order to stabilize their own life.

Prioritize self-care

Distancing oneself or setting free something that was an integral part of an individual’s life might take a huge toll on one’s health. In such a situation one must place focus on self-care. This helps them to deal with the challenges that come their way due to the decision of letting someone they love free.

Seek professional help

The decision of letting someone you love free might be forced or might be well thought and intentional. In anyways this decision is going to be very difficult and might take a toll on an individual’s mental health.

Some individuals are able to cope with the separation on their own while others adopt unhealthy ways to deal with the situation which leads to many severe circumstances.

In such cases, people must seek professional help in order to adapt to the situation and deal with it effectively in such a way that they are able to get control of their own lives within a short period of time.


There is a very well-known phrase which states “If you love something let it go. If it returns, it’s yours if it doesn’t it wasn’t. If you love someone set them free. If they come back, they’re yours if they don’t they never were”. -Richard Bach

It can be painful to let go of something that one has a strong bond with and share a feeling of love even if a person realizes that it is for the better. However, being able to understand the importance of setting something free can help that individual in many ways to cope with the discomfort that comes along with the separation.

Psychologists indicate that giving and being loved are very important for humans. Some researchers have also placed this need for love on the topmost in a hierarchy of needs.

One reason why love has been so important for humanity is it has created a path for survival among various species.

An individual is a master of their own life. It is they who have to understand if they want to set something free or keep it with them regardless of the consequences that will follow.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs):


What is the phrase if you love something set it free means?

This phrase indicates that one must not force anyone into staying in a relationship with another. If things are truly meant to happen between the two individuals, then there is no need to force it will happen over the course of time.

Is it true when you love someone you have to let them go?

It is believed that when you let go of someone that you are closely attached to it definitely causes a sense of pain and a need to bounce back and fix things. however, it is advisable to go with the flow and let things pass in order to give you a clear perspective that comes with some space.

How do you let someone go even though you love them?

  • It is important to recognize when it is time to let things settle down and let it pass for a peace of Mind
  • One must identify their limiting beliefs that make the process hard
  • Try and change their story in a way that makes it easier to let go of things
  • Stopping the blame game brings a sense of relief
  • Try and master your own emotions where you have control over them when required
  • Practicing empathy is suggestible in order to understand what the other person feels and wants
  • Adopting an attitude of gratitude is helpful for both personal development and growth

Can love fade away and come back?

The answer to this can be both yes and no depending on the back story of the individuals involved and the circumstances in the past as well as in the present.

It is believed that as love is a very strong emotion it may have a tendency to fade away with time however this does not indicate that an individual cannot experience this emotion again over time with another person.

How do you know a relationship is over?

Some signs that an individual can consider in order to understand if they feel the same about a person or a relationship that was very dear to them once are:

  • Lack of emotional connection
  • Lack of physical intimacy
  • Increased arguments and disagreements
  • Attraction towards another entity
  • Difficulty in trusting
  • Different goals.



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