This article will look at the reasons why we end up yelling at our moms and why we feel bad. Furthermore, the article will also point out how we can deal with such situations and what we can do to prevent them from happening again.
I Yelled At My Mom But Feel Bad – What To Do
Yelling at your mom can happen for a number of reasons such as:
- An Unresolved Fight
- She Is Not Fulfilling Your Expectations
- You Are Cranky
- She Keeps Invading Your Space
- You Differ With Her A Lot
Let us take a look at the above reasons as to why you may end up yelling at your mom and of course feeling bad about it!
An Unresolved Fight
It is better to say unresolved feelings here because those are what get you upset or angry again at someone when even the smallest of triggers comes about! Having an unresolved issue with your mom can become a huge problem later one. This is because she is one of the closest figures in your life and you need to be on one page with her.
It is possible that you both exchanged unpleasant words but for the sake of getting along or going through daily tasks together you guys made up without any real apology or explaining that what you guys had said was not what you really meant! Hence, the thoughts keep popping up in your mind about her and how she feels about things. This can turn into a negative cycle of thoughts that push you against her and make you doubt her support for your dreams and your life. It is natural to feel upset when you expect a lot from someone but you think or feel they will not support you because of a few immature exchanges that you had with them earlier on.
Hence, because of unresolved fights or issues, it is possible that the hurt in you is slowly turning into anger and that is what comes out when you get even the tiniest bit upset with your mom. The best thing to do is to make sure you resolve whatever issues you have with her so that neither of you has any hard feelings for the other and such unpleasant exchanges can be avoided. Afterall, she is your mother and you need to give her a break! She has done enough for you!
She Is Not Fulfilling Your Expectations
It is natural to want your parents to support you in everything you do. You might make a lot of different choices in your life that are aligned with your happiness and peace as well as the goals you had always wanted to achieve. However, at some point in your life, you see your parents move back from the decisions you make. It is possible they outwardly disagree with what you choose to do.
Although this can be the start of something where both you and your mother have differences – it does not have to be that way. Your parents are your parents and although they do have certain rights over you, you are in your ownself an individual who has a free will and a life to lead. You are accountable for yourself. Hence, the last say should be with you. That does not mean you do not take your parents into confidence when taking decisions or seek their advice or opinions or try to incorporate their happiness into yours if possible. It is all about showing them that you care about them even if it means you guys go your separate ways.
Hence, one of the reasons why you may end up shouting at your mother and feeling bad about it is because she wants something different for you and you do not agree. You may actually be disappointed that she does not even understand what your happiness means. This is a good opportunity to sit down and help your mother understand what it is you want in life and why it will give you the peace or happiness you need.
You Are Cranky
Yes, being cranky is a good excuse to take your anger out on someone – especially our mom whom you consider a soft and safe target. As humans, we prefer to take out our anger or our feelings on the easier targets. These targets are unlikely to strike back at us or yield any long term effects of the attack we make on them. They are our mothers and we expect them to absorb all our pain, tantrums and shouting episodes because they understand us.
This unconscious awareness allows us to become ‘comfortable’ in the fights we have with our moms but nonetheless they are our parents and we do feel bad about it.
It is important to recognize that this is not a healthy behaviour. This time it is your mom but the next time it could be your friend, spouse or child and they may not be as understanding as your mother is. Also, this is a poor way of handling issues. Instead of resolving the root cause we ignore it and take out the anger or frustration on others.
It is important that we monitor our feelings and question ourselves when we engage in irresponsible or irrational behaviour. So next time you get into an issue with someone, resolve it with that someone and do not make others suffer.
She Keeps Invading Your Space
It is possible your mom does not realize you are growing up and you now need more space to yourself. You can’t blame her because she has been in your ‘business’ your entire life and now that you don’t need her you just can’t push her aside just like that! It takes time for parents especially mothers to realize their little kids are growing up and need more room for themselves to explore their surroundings and their own selves as well!
It is possible your mom does not realize that and when you feel she is invading your space you get all angry and end up shouting at her instead of taking the time out to sit down and explain to her what it is that she does which makes you angry.
Next time this happens, take this as an opportunity to sit her down and talk to her about how you feel and how you need her to give you more space.
You Differ With Her A Lot
It does happen that we turn out to be complete opposites of our parents even though we may look exactly like them – the irony right? However, this can lead to some serious issues between children and parents if they are quite different. Why? It happens because parents have certain expectations from their children and want them to take up certain paths in their life – especially those that they wanted to but could not!
However, the son or daughter may have a totally different take on life and want to take up life choices the parents could never imagine. In this case, this could be a very good reason as to why you end up shouting at your mom because you guys disagree too much and have different understandings of how things should be or what one person should do in life. However, you do feel bad because you can see the sincerity in their eyes.
It is important to bring these differences to the table. If the differences cannot be resolved it is better to be aware of them so both parties can be aware of and prepared to tackle whatever comes their way.
Parents – What They Need To Know
It is important that parents realize that their children are separate, individual beings who have their own desires and pursuits in life and that they cannot reflect what it is their parents want. As children, we have many rights to fulfill towards our parents such as caring for them in their older age and ensuring they live a comfortable and happy life. However, it is necessary to establish healthy boundaries where both parties know that each person has the right to do what they want in life and the other party can only guide or advise.
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This article took a look at the many reasons why someone could end up yelling at their mo and hence feel bad about it. The article also pointed out how individuals can make these situations better by explaining how they should talk to their mothers about any matter bothering them or causing rifts between them. Furthermore, the article advised parents on what they should realize when it comes to them and their children.