I Want To Talk To Someone About My Feelings
By
OptimistMinds
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Author bio
The Optimistminds editorial team is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health professionals. Each article is written by a team member with exposure to and experience in the subject matter. The article then gets reviewed by a more senior editorial member. This is someone with extensive knowledge of the subject matter and highly cited published material.
In this article, we will talk about why it is important to talk about your feelings and acknowledge them instead and why ignoring your feelings is not the best thing you can do for yourself. This article also looks at how you can talk to someone about your feelings and get help.
Talking About Your Feelings
It is not easy for everyone to express their feelings or talk about them. If you can connect, you may find it unsettling to hear other people talk about their feelings. Perhaps you’re perplexed as to why they’re being so sensitive or emotional, and why they can’t simply “get over it.”
Maybe you’ve thought if you’re just “another of those folks” who really doesn’t experience a lot of emotions. However, the reality is that we all feel feelings. Our emotions are always with us. They motivate us to act, shape our decisions, and allow us to build deeper relationships with others around us.
Our diseased society has fostered the practice of invalidating and suppressing our emotions. This is how most of us have been conditioned to operate.
This can easily be linked back to your childhood if you feel out of touch with your feelings While you were upset, in what way did your parents react? Whilst you were angry or feeling misunderstood, did you feel like you could just talk to them?
If we hesitate or struggle to communicate or express our feelings as grownups, it’s often because we were never given the opportunity to do so as children. And this is usually because the folks we grew up with didn’t know how to express their feelings either.
The problem is that suppressing our feelings isn’t a healthy or natural place to be in. In fact, it has the potential to become toxic with time.
Repressed feelings do not simply go away. They silently build up in the background. And before we know it, they’re screaming at us, forcing us to pay attention.
Why Is It Important To Talk About Your Feelings?
Feelings are like messengers
Emotional intelligence (or being in tune with your emotions) is vital since our feelings are essential messengers that tell us what is going on in our lives and what is going on with us.
Emotions communicate precisely what we really need to know (even if it isn’t always what we’d like to know). All of your feelings are valid, even the ones which are unpleasant.
Listening to your feelings and processing them will empower you to make changes in your behaviour and choose the best course of action for yourself.
Bottling them up makes it worse
Visualize this like placing a lid over a boiling pot. Whenever you put a lid on our feelings, they will eventually boil over.
When you have devoted lots of time suppressing your feelings, expressing them may cause discomfort and even feel overwhelming. Perhaps you’re having a disagreement with your partner and suddenly erupt, or you lash out at a coworker over something petty.
In the short term, repressing your feelings may result in you overreacting to situations. This can have far more devastating long-term implications, resulting in conditions such as depression, anxiety, and sleep disorders.
Owning Your Feelings Is The Way
You permit your feelings to rule you when you are out of touch with them. How you feel has an impact on how you act. Your emotions can end up impacting your choices without you even noticing it if you don’t have awareness of how you’re feeling. By identifying and accepting your feelings, you provide space for them to be processed so that you may move forward in the most constructive way possible.
It Makes Space For Genuine Connections
It will be difficult to build close relationships when you’re not in touch with your feelings. Perhaps you resist true connections because they are frightening, or you build superficial friendships and partnerships to feel at ease. Communication is essential in any relationship, and talking about your feelings will help you grow as an individual and as a partner.
A Burden Is Lifted From Your Shoulders
You may try a variety of methods to repress these feelings, including numbing yourself with drugs, keeping yourself so busy that you don’t have time to reflect or process your feelings and thoughts. However, once again, none of these seem to be long-term solutions.
You will become liberated, light, and live life in the present when you process and share how you feel. You make room for happy things to take their place by releasing your feelings in the form of tears or honest expression.
Putting A Label On Your Feelings Deescalates Them
Your emotions are in a perpetual state of flux. Even if you are feeling a specific way this time, it will not remain forever. Putting a label on your feelings might help you get from “I am sad” to “I am feeling sad,” bridging the gap between feelings and thoughts. This revelation alone can provide a great deal of relief. You realize that you are an experiencer of a feeling.
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How To Talk To Someone About Your Feelings
Talk To A Friend
Make a list of your friends when you’re thinking about who you might be able to open up to and talk about your feelings. People you know from a range of settings, such as relatives, friends, Facebook buddies, and even colleagues, should be included.
Now try to figure out who on your list isn’t only emotionally intelligent, but also emotionally mature and NON-JUDGMENTAL because you wouldn’t want to feel judged when you’ve just stepped out of your comfort bubble to be more open and talk about your feelings. Since they are compassionate, individuals with these abilities are usually a lot easier to talk to. Once you’ve created a number of options, contact them and invite them out for lunch or a walk.
Join A Support
Joining a support group is one approach to expand your support network. Whether you join an online group or perhaps a group that meets in person, you’ll have access to a network of individuals who understand what you’re going through. You’ll be able to get the help and understanding you really need, and also offer help to someone in a similar position.
Talk To A Therapist
A skilled therapist can aid you in making sense of your thoughts and feelings, whether you need to talk about a mental health problem, need help coping with daily stress, or simply wish to become more mentally stable.
Therapists can assist you in developing healthy coping strategies and may even offer advice on how to form a support system.
You might also consider looking into online counselling options. These solutions are sometimes more economical, in addition to being more convenient for people with hectic schedules.
BetterHelp: A Better Alternative
Those who are seeking therapy online may also be interested in BetterHelp. BetterHelp offers plenty of formats of therapy, ranging from live chats, live audio sessions and live video sessions. In addition, unlimited messaging through texting, audio messages and even video messages are available here.
BetterHelp also offers couples therapy and therapy for teenagers in its platform. Furthermore, group sessions can also be found in this platform, covering more than twenty different topics related to mental health and mental illness. The pricing of BetterHelp is also pretty cost-effective, especially considering the fact that the platform offers financial aid to most users.
Conclusion
In this article, we talked about why it is important to talk about your feelings and acknowledge them instead and why ignoring your feelings is not the best thing you can do for yourself. This article also looked at how you can talk to someone about your feelings and get help.
Frequently Asked Questions: I want to talk to someone about my feelings
Why am I not able to talk about my feelings?
Alexithymia is an inability to recognise and explain emotions rather than a disease in and of itself. Alexithymia affects people’s ability to perceive and communicate their own emotions, as well as their ability to recognise and respond to the emotions of others.
Is there someone I can talk to about my problems?
Your doctor may be able to refer you to a qualified professional who can assist you with your issues. You’ll talk about any troubles you’ve been experiencing and what you have been feeling should you choose therapy or counselling. Your doctor, therapist, or counsellor can assist you in determining what is best for you.
Why does talking make you feel better?
Catharsis, or a sense of relief, is induced by talking. We experience a reduction in the intensity of our strong emotions. Nothing will have changed in our life that has caused us to suffer, but talking will help to alleviate some of the suffering.
Why do I cry so much over little things?
Crying spells, crying for no apparent reason, or crying over minor issues that would ordinarily not affect you could all be indicators of depression. The inability to focus. You might forget things, have problems making decisions, or have trouble concentrating if you’re depressed.
What causes emotional detachment?
It’s possible that emotional detachment could be voluntary. Sometimes people may choose to maintain an emotional distance from a person or circumstance. Emotional detachment can also be caused by trauma, abuse, or a past experience.
Does talking help relieve stress?
Studies have shown that merely talking about our problems and expressing and communicating our negative emotions with somebody we trust may be quite beneficial in terms of stress reduction, immune system boosting, and physical and mental distress reduction.
How do you ask someone about their problems?
Say something along the lines of, “I could be mistaken, but it appears that you’re feeling …” It’s possible that you’ll say something incorrectly. This isn’t a problem because they’ll almost certainly correct you. “I’m not upset; I’m simply depressed,” for example. Anything like this is a good way to start a conversation and make the other person feel seen and heard.
What happens when you don’t talk about your feelings?
As per a study from the University of Texas, if you don’t address your feelings, you’re allowing them to become stronger. According to clinical psychologist Victoria Tarratt, emotional outbursts are “your body’s way of releasing that pent-up emotion.”
References
What to Do When You Need Someone to Talk To
I need to talk about my feelings: why it’s important and what to do