I want to hurt myself

In this brief blog, we are going to discuss what to do if you are thinking, “I want to hurt myself”.

We will hopefully give you a few reasons why you should not hurt yourself and why life is worth living without any self-harm.

What is self-harm?

Self-harm is when you hurt yourself as a  method of dealing with any issues you may be facing. Self-harm could be considered as a drug.

People self-harm in order to get rid of their issues. If you are thinking”I want to hurt myself” you may also be considering self-harm.

Self-harm could be a way to:

  • Get attention from friends and family
  • Change your emotional pain into physical pain
  • Make you regain what you feel is self-control
  • Turn the feelings you have in your head into something you can see
  • Feel better and get away from overwhelming feelings
  • Self-harm could also be a way to escape from things, in the same way people use drugs
  • Self-harm could be a way to escape traumatic moments
  • A way to punish yourself for whatever you are going through
  • Have something you can rely on
  • Maybe a way for you to express any suicidal thoughts you are feeling
  • A way to stop feeling disconnected or numb
  • It may also create a reason for you to seek help

I want to hurt myself

You may want to hurt yourself as you have just had a difficult day, maybe an argument with your wife, your boyfriend, your husband or your girlfriend and maybe you want to hurt yourself as a means to take your life.

What you should understand is that wanting to hurt yourself is just a feeling you’re experiencing right now due to the events that have just occurred, maybe an argument or maybe a fight, maybe you are just feeling low.  

Wanting to hurt yourself is therefore not only a natural feeling that a lot of us can feel but a feeling that a lot of us can also overcome with good planning and the right attitude.

You may need some time to just cool down and analyze what has just occurred. hurting yourself won’t make you feel any better but rather it will make things horrible and may lead to your death which will leave the people you left behind without a final word, the people you left behind without saying bye or explaining that you were going forever.  This is what self-harm can do to you.

If you are feeling like you want to hurt yourself then think about the countless number of people who have tried to hurt themselves to either kill themselves or get close enough to death.

Most of these people have experienced a near-death experience and now are very grateful that their self-harm did not lead to their death.

In most cases, the issues they wanted to hurt themselves over are now forgotten, they mean nothing or were resolved to everybody’s satisfaction and now appear so little.

I want to hurt myself for attention

If you are thinking I want to hurt myself to gain attention then you should consider that you don’t need to hurt yourself as a means to get attention.

If you are feeling depressed, sad, lonely or any other issues then you should tell your friends, tell your family, speak to your counsellor rather than self-harming.

Most people hurt themselves in a bid to gain attention but usually, they will hide evidence of their self-harm.

Consequences of hurting yourself?

Hurting yourself could be a lot of things:

  • Cutting or scratching yourself very badly
  • Burning yourself or scalding yourself
  • Punching yourself
  • Throwing or your body at the wall
  • Falling against objects
  • Sticking objects into your skin
  • Preventing your words from healing
  • Consuming poison or objects not meant for consumption

You can also harm yourself by doing things which may be very harmful such as drinking and driving, having unprotected sex, going to dangerous places, overdosing on drugs or trying to do anything which may put you at risk.

The consequences of hurting yourself are that hurting yourself as with drugs or most other things just provide short term relief and don’t really help you in the long run.

Once you have hurt yourself you will then begin to feel shameful, guilty and you may still be sad.

Another consequence of self-harm is that it doesn’t really solve any problem and your problem will then come back and still lay on your shoulders.

Self-harm may also lead to death as you may not know exactly what you are doing.

You may not want to go to the hospital out of shame and you could end up misdiagnosing yourself.

If you don’t find other ways to deal with yourself then your self harming could potentially get worse and when your problems get worse in the future you may end up being more depressed or looking for bigger things to numb the pain such as drugs. You may even consider suicide.

You may become addicted to self-harm and this could cause you to go to hurting yourself as your default solution.

You may find it hard to avoid cutting yourself. It could become addictive in the same way as people who are addicted to adult-movies.

Self-harm won’t help you. Getting help from a mental health expert will be a better use of your time than self-harm.

I want to hurt myself- questions to ask yourself

If you think you want to hurt yourself ask yourself the questions below.

  • Why do I want to hurt myself?
  • What will I gain from hurting myself?
  • Could I die from hurting myself?
  • Do I know where I want to hurt myself?
  • Do I have any medical experience in case hurting myself goes wrong?
  • I want to hurt myself, but what happens to my friends?
  • I want to hurt myself but I don’t want my family to see me like this?
  • I want to hurt myself but will I care about this issue tomorrow?
  • I want to hurt myself but why haven’t I sought help first?
  • I want to hurt myself, how will my family take this?

Ask yourself the questions above will hopefully help guide you on what to do next.

As mentioned before, in most situations, the things we are so concerned and worried about aren’t so great that we should  self harm and risk losing our lives.

In most cases, whatever you are worried about can be resolved pretty quickly.

Issues with your boyfriend or girlfriend

If you want to hurt yourself because of your boyfriend or girlfriend then you should consider these points below:

Have you told your boyfriend or girlfriend that you are considering hurting yourself?

Have you told your boyfriend or girlfriend how you truly feel?

Have you tried to work out the issues that you are facing?

If you have broken up with your boyfriend or girlfriend have you considered going out clubbing, partying or socialising to see if anybody else out there excites you?

There are over 7 billion people out there who you may find captivate your attention better, who may excite you or offer you something much different sexually or emotionally.


If you want to hurt yourself because you are being bullied at school then you should first tell your parents, then report this to your teachers and the counsellor at your school.

If no one does anything to help you then tell your brothers, sisters or refuse to go to school rather than self-harm.

When telling your story of how you have been bullied be sure to explain it in great detail.

If you are scared of getting hurt or someone is physically harming you then call the police on 999.

If you want to hurt yourself because you are being bullied at your workplace then you should report this to management.

If you are being bullied by management then you should contact your employee workforce or discuss your issue with the employment tribunal or a suitable legal representative.

You should get evidence of workplace bullying. Rather than hurting yourself you could get paid a hefty compensation for workplace bullying which could help you pay off a mortgage, go on a nice holiday or doe something similar rather than dying through hurting yourself and causing your family pain, stress and sadness.

Failure at work or school

If you want to hurt yourself because you are failing at school or at work then I want to let you know that failure is a big part of success.

Most people who have succeeded in life have also failed severally.

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” —Thomas A. Edison

If your family or workplace is putting way too much pressure on you to succeed and you are unable to handle this sort of pressure then you should let them know that you are no longer able to work under their terms.

Do not hurt yourself because you are trying to please other people and this is putting way too much pressure on you.

If you are thinking to yourself “I want to hurt myself”  you may be suffering from burnout by trying to do too much and hence you feel deflated, sad, depressed, lonely and now want to hurt yourself as a way of seeking for help or just giving up.

You’re Not the problem, don’t hurt yourself. Work is the problem, leave work and regain your wellbeing.

What’s makes you want to self-harm?

An important reason why a lot of us want to self-harm is that we are going through a stressful period, a period where we may feel alone, we may feel guilty or we are feeling depressed.

In these instances we may revert to self-destructive behaviour such as drinking too much, taking drugs or a lot of drugs, self-harming or even being very distant from our friends.

Self-harming is a method of dealing with stressful moments, painful moments or even traumatic moments.

When we don’t deal with our emotions or feelings, they can eventually overwhelm us and we may need up feeling like the only way to deal with these issues is by self-harming.

Many of us view self-harming as a way to distract ourselves from the issues we are dealing with and for others it is a way for us to seek help.

Self-harming will not help us deal with our issues, they just act as a distraction for a very short period of time( as we turn the emotional pain to physical pain) and when our issues come back we will then revert to hurting ourselves again.

The need to self-harm will continue creeping up until we deal with the issues causing us to self-harm.

Why can I control an urge one day and not another?

You may be wondering why on some days you are able to control yourself and see no need to self-harm whilst on other days you can’t seem to help yourself.

This can simply be due to the emotional thresholds which we have. 

When we are stressed we may look for short term relief such as drinking, drugs or even self harming.

The type of short term relief we may look for will usually depend on what our emotional threshold is.

If things are going well or you have found a good way to overcome your issues in this past then you may feel more reassured in yourself that you will be able to overcome the issues in front of you and therefore not resort to self-harming.

In some cases, you may feel no need to self-harm in several instances and all of a sudden feel the need to self-harm.

It all depends on your emotional threshold.

How to prevent future self-harming

IfThe best way to prevent future self harming is to reflect on what you were feeling like when you were thinking “I want to hurt myself” .

It is a good time to come up with your own coping strategies that have been helpful in the past that you could use again in the future:

Some of these include

  • Think of the last time you wanted to self harm but didn’t, What did you do differently? Who did you speak to? What helped you through that difficult moment of wanting to hurt yourself?
  • Make a list of what events, actions or feelings make you want to self harm and then make another list of how to deal with each feeling. This will be your go-to guide when those feelings erupt.
  • When you hurt yourself, how do you feel and what else can you do to get those feelings again without self-harming.
  • Make a list of things which you love about yourself, write these things down and always refer to them when you consider self-harming.
  • Find a person you can trust to always be there for you when you consider self harming. Let them know that you have them put in this list so they treat every call they get from you with some level of urgency or importance

What to do if you are thinking of hurting yourself?

If you are thinking to yourself, “I want to hurt myself”, you may be faced with some very huge and complex decisions.

The reality is that your mind will be racing so fast that you won’t be able to help yourself, you won’t be able to think properly and you may not be able to break down and understand what you are truly going through.  

Taking a moment to slow down and consider what is happening, what is driving you to this point may help you reflect better.

Consider speaking to someone, anyone, 999, 911, consider calling Samaritans, consider speaking to your counsellor or therapist, your friends, your family, a stranger.

Speak to anyone who may be interested in helping you as they could potentially give you more clarity on what you are going through and how to overcome it.

Remove things that can harm you

If you want to hurt yourself then you should at least try and remove anything that could potentially harm you.

If there are knives, medication or anything around you that cold harm you then throw them out of the window immediately.

If there are too many things to throw away then leave your home and go somewhere social.

Go speak to someone random, interact with people and you will hopefully feel better.

I want to hurt myself: Call a friend

If you want to hurt yourself then you should first call a friend. Tell your friend how you are feeling and hopefully they will be able to help you understand what you are going through, your friend may come round or you may go round to their homes and have a chat, maybe stay over until you feel better and well enough to go home.

Keep your mind busy

If you want to hurt yourself then you should try and keep your mind busy. 

Think about other activities that you may want to do such as golf, football, hockey, basketball, dog walking and whatever else you may be able to do to take your mind off wanting to hurt yourself.

This could be as simple as watching your favourite movies or playing video games.

Self-help tips for self harm

If you are considering self harming then there are a few tried and tested tips which may be able to work for you.

Not all of them may work and maybe only one will work so if it doesn’t work out for you then don’t be disheartened by it.

Below are a few self harm tips which you can do yourself:

  • Meditation. Meditation helps us get back to a positive vibe. We can push away negative feelings by simply meditating.
  • Make a happy box with things that make you feel accomplished, proud, happy and satisfied. You can also include things which make you feel happy to this list. If you are ever feeling bad then look at this list.
  • The 15-minute rule – The 15 minute rule is a very good rule if you feel the need or urge to self -harm. You should simply give yourself 15 minutes when you feel the need to self harm by distracting yourself with other things such as writing down your feelings, going for a jog. When the time’s up, see if you can extend it by another 15 minutes. Try to keep going until the urge subsides.

Speaking to Samaritans

Samaritans are known to have helped a lot of people who have come to this difficult moment of trying to hurt and potentially kill themselves.

The Samaritans telephone line is open 24 hours a day. This means you can access the hotline at every single second of every year.

If you are feeling suicidal just give Samaritans a call on 116 123. You can find more information about calling Samaritans for help about feeling suicidal here.

If you can’t quite figure out what is happening or need help breaking it down further then Samaritans will be able to help you talk through things.

You may be sceptical about how talking could help you solve your problems but talking can indeed go a long way to helping you solve your problems.

If you are feeling desperate and on the edge then Samaritans can certainly help you make sense of it all.

Samaritans will also be able to help you understand other forms of help which may be available to you.

I want to hurt myself. Are you suicidal?

It’s a worthwhile question as sometimes we can’t really tell how we are feeling.

If you are experiencing any of the below thoughts then a chat with Samaritans may be worth it:

You feel like you want to die

You feel like you have no more options

You have lost all hope or will

You want a solution to the nightmare you are having and can’t see any other way out but to hurt yourself

You feel alone, betrayed, abandoned and just want to end that feeling

You aren’t really planning on hurting yourself but you won’t mind it happening either

You feel out of control and you feel like many things in your life are now out of your control and you see death as the only way to regain control

You can’t quite figure out why you are having suicidal thoughts and you feel very powerless to help yourself

Will Samaritans stop you from hurting and killing yourself?

Samaritans will do all they can to show you that there is a more positive outcome and hope that you will not hurt and potentially kill yourself.

They will hope to get you to see things from a different and more positive viewpoint.

Of Course, Samaritans will not enforce anything on you and you are free to make whatever decisions you feel are necessary, including the decision to end your life.

Samaritans will respect whatever decision you make and will continue to talk to you even if you have made the decision to end your life.

Will Samaritans tell anybody I’m suicidal?

No Samaritans will never disclose such information or even disclose that you ever called unless you ask them to.

The only exceptions to this are when Samaritans will call the emergency services. They will do this if:

You ask them to, and you’re unable to call for yourself

You’ve already told Samaritans your address, location or phone number, and then become incoherent or unconscious during the call

You’re in one of Samaritans branches, and you’ve harmed yourself in a way that puts you in danger at that time.

Side Note: I have tried and tested various products and services to help with my anxiety and depression. See my top recommendations here, as well as a full list of all products and services our team has tested for various mental health conditions and general wellness.

What if you don’t want to talk on the phone?

If you don’t want to talk on the phone then there are various other ways to contact Samaritans.

You could visit a branch

Write a letter



PO Box 9090



Email Samaritans

If you are suffering from depression, anxiety, loneliness or any similar mental health issue then seeking help for it may be a good option.

Mental health issues such as depression, loneliness and anxiety can affect anyone of us.

If you are under 18 then CAMHS, an NHS run programme may just be the answer for your mental health struggles.

You should look to see if you meet the CAMHS referral criteria and then fill in the CAMHS referral form.

In this brief, blog we discussed the statement  “I want to hurt myself”.

We hope you found some value in this post please let us know your comments or questions below.

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