I regret my whole life (5 coping tips)
By
OptimistMinds
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Author bio
The Optimistminds editorial team is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health professionals. Each article is written by a team member with exposure to and experience in the subject matter. The article then gets reviewed by a more senior editorial member. This is someone with extensive knowledge of the subject matter and highly cited published material.
In this guide, we will try to find out why do I regret my whole life. In addition to this, we will also look at various ways of overcoming the regret of your whole life.
Why do I regret my whole life?
We all have regrets now and then in our lives. We regret that we did not spend much time with our parents, or regret that we did not study hard for our career and college. Having regrets has become normal. Well, it should be normal. You cannot live a perfect life, it is not possible. Even for those who say my life is perfect, they might still have certain regrets in their lives.
People usually regret their whole life mainly because they are not satisfied with what they have done and achieved. They believe that they could have a lead better life with better lifestyles, careers, and relationships. If you are not satisfied with your life when you look back at it, it is natural that you are left with a sense of regret in it.
If you realize that you did not work hard enough to be successful, or if you see that none of your relationships are close enough for you to fall back at them, or you are all alone, with no one to support, you might end up regretting your life.
Just like Erikson mentioned in his theory when you reach old age and look back at your entire life, you might either see your lives as unproductive, feel guilt about our past, or feel that we did not accomplish our life goals, we become dissatisfied with life and develop despair, often leading to depression and hopelessness. This is when a person regrets his own life.
On the other hand, if you happen to feel satisfied and successful, it will lead to the virtue of wisdom. Wisdom enables a person to look back on their life with a sense of closure and completeness, and also accept death without fear.
How to deal with the regret of my whole life?
Here are a few ways to deal with the regret of my whole life.
Quit believing it’s past the point of no return.
It’s never past the point where it is possible to give penance for past missteps. Regardless of whether the individual you trust you violated has died, there is something you can do. For example on the off chance that they cherished creatures, you could make a gift in their memory to a creature good cause.
Separate reality from fiction.
The vast majority have a particular memory and will in general see the past through a bogus channel, regardless of whether inadvertently. You may accept that you were to blame, however, in all actuality it might have been everything you could manage in the conditions or with the information you had accessible at that point.
Stop posing some unacceptable inquiry.
Quit Asking “Consider the possibility that? Imagine a scenario where I had or hadn’t done either?” Ask all things being equal ” What in the event that I continue this way. I’ll wind up squandering my life and that will include another lament on top of the first one. Am I truly set up to go on like this?”
Own up to your mix-up.
In the event that you really wrecked, at that point apologize. Also, comprehend you’re saying ‘sorry’ for you. Regardless of how sometime in the past it was, it will help ‘close’ the scene in your psyche, permitting you to proceed onward.
Separate your regret.
Treat your regret as a different element with which you have beyond reconciliation contrasts. Formally cut off the association and begin once again.
Quit passing up the present.
Regret keeps you interminably secured before, re-living past occasions in your very own universe of excruciating recollections. Acknowledge the amount you are passing up a great opportunity and recollect ” Life is in you today and you make your tomorrow”.
Make amends for your past failings in the present.
Possibly you lament being mean with cash when you were more youthful. Perhaps you would not help other people. Put this correct now by liberally giving your time or potentially cash to worthy missions.
Take the concentration off yourself.
In the event that you regret not having had the chance to accomplish something advantageous yourself, at that point ensure another person has that chance at this point. Couldn’t bear to attend a university or failed out? At that point support somebody through school here or abroad and give them the chances you won’t ever have.
Counter your remorseful considerations.
Try not to allow regret to get the better of you. Rebuke any remorseful considerations with a ground-breaking rebound: “That was some other time, somewhere else. I’m not that individual any more”.
Comprehend that you’ve changed.
This follows on from the last point. You truly aren’t a similar individual. You have developed and gained from your encounters. What you did at that point, you wouldn’t do now.
Live in the present time and place.
In some cases, the best methodology is to disregard remorseful considerations and hurl yourself entirely into the present. Make an incredible life in the present time and place and you may locate those remorseful musings normally blur.
Seek the intelligence of others.
Numerous individuals have been in a similar circumstance as you. Utilize their insight to help you. Start by discovering incredible statements like the one at the highest point of this article.
Concentrate on the higher perspective.
Whatever you did or didn’t do likely isn’t that large an arrangement in the entire world point of view. “Nothing in life is as significant as you might suspect it is while you are considering the big picture.” – Daniel Kahneman
Allow sympathy to help you proceed onward.
“In the event that you need others to be cheerful, practice empathy. In the event that you need to be glad, practice empathy” – Dalai Lama. Similarly on the off chance that you need to fail to remember your lament, focus on helping other people and you’ll before long fail to remember your own concerns.
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Make a statement of purpose.
Carefully recording your considerations down can be the catalyst you need. Detail your accurate lament and what you plan to do to exile it. Peruse it frequently until you have freed yourself of your lament.
Proceed onward for other people.
In the event that you have ever realized somebody overwhelmed by lament and caught previously, you’ll realize how troublesome it very well may be for people around them. Try not to leave that somebody alone you.
Reexamine yourself.
Now and again the lone compelling game-plan in the event that you can’t execute the lament is to commit suicide. Not in a real sense, yet emblematically. Begin once again in another town, or country if needs be. Change profession, or even your name on the off chance that it helps (I know a few people who have changed their names and re-developed themselves).
Quit rehashing a similar misstep.
The issue with lament is that while you’re investing your energy lamenting a previous slip-up, you are probably going to proceed to commit that equivalent error once more. In the event that you lament getting disregarded for an advancement, ensure the following time the chance emerges you are decidedly ready and can stop history rehashing itself.
Put your slip-ups in context.
Alright, so you wrecked? You know, the solitary individuals who don’t wreck are in the burial ground. It’s as much a piece of being human as breathing or cherishing.
Do the opposite of what you regret
If you know what is causing the regret in your life, try to change it. make sure that you take a step forward to make amends on these regrets. When wishing you had done things any other way overpowers your reasoning, get proactive. Channel your considerations into what is inspiring. Peruse something that rouses you. Accomplish something pleasant for somebody. Connect with a considerate hand. Be caring to everybody you meet. Grin. We are all in the ring with wishing we had done things any other way previously, yet it is astounding how accomplishing something positive, gainful, and valuable will take out the goliath of disappointment.
Learn from your mistakes
If you know that you have made mistakes in your life that you regret, remember it is never too late to learn from them. Whatever, makes you feel that you should regret your life, identify it and learn from it, learn where you went wrong, how you could have done things differently, and then do them. Make those amends. Implement your learnings.
Find the root of the regret
Feeling regretful is not easy. There has to be a concrete reason why you feel so. In order to cope with it, it is necessary that you find the root f each and every regret, when you know what is causing you to feel regretful, you might be able to correct that, or just knowing the root can make you feel better.
Set goals
Usually, we feel regretful when we are not in the right place in our lives. One way to live a life without any regrets is to simply hone in on the things you want to achieve, and it’s even better when you can see it every day. You can do this by making a list of your goals and putting it up on the wall. This way every time you look at the wall you will be reminded of your goals and can work towards them. This way you can also avoid the regrets that you might face if these goals e left unfinished.
Conclusion
In this guide, we have tried to find out why do I regret my whole life. In addition to this, we have also looked at various ways of overcoming the regret of your whole life.
FAQs: I regret my whole life
Why do I regret so much?
We regret our choices and plans because we believe that we must have done better in our lives. But when we fail to choose this better option we are left with a sense of regret.
Why is it bad to regret?
Regret leaves us with a sense of sadness and despair. You feel that your life is a failure and you have done everything wrong. Like it is said it is better to live a life full of mistakes rather than regrets.
How does regret affect us?
Regret can significantly impede happiness because regret often causes people to feel shame, sadness, or remorse about decisions or the ways in which they have spent their lives. Sometimes regret can contribute to depression, but depression can also cause feelings of regret that were not previously there.
References
https://adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/how-handle-regret