I never feel in the moment (why and how to return)

In this guide, we will discuss why thoughts like, ‘I never feel in the moment’ arise and how you can return to the present moment.

We prefer to spend a lot of time as human beings in the past or the future. We spend a great deal of time worrying about what it was and what it should have been. And we spend a lot of time imagining the future and wondering what could happen. Indeed, this way of thinking is a great way of making much of your life much more miserable and limited than required. Of course, the secret to fixing this issue is living as best as you can in the only moment you ever really live and power. Right now, this moment.

I never feel in the moment

Over-thinking what has happened and what has yet to happen will mean that you can never drift off into a deep sleep, so that you do not wake up feeling refreshed and re-energized.

“If you always think about the future and the past, you don’t spend time at the moment very much,” said Müller, an online psychologist. “I have many clients who are either living totally in the past — like all the things they’ve done that were wrong, that didn’t go well … Or in the future — all the things that could go wrong, all the things that could happen to them, and how they could lose the things they love.”

In a sense, joy is closely correlated with living in the moment. The brain doesn’t know the difference between an emotion you’re feeling right now, and an emotion in your subconscious that you’re reliving.

“If you think about the situation, you can have all of these feelings from back then come back — you can feel the anger again in your stomach or your chest,” Müller said.

Depersonalization-derealization disorder

The depersonalization-derealization disorder occurs when you persistently or repeatedly have the feeling that you’re observing yourself from outside your body or you have a sense that things around you aren’t real or both. It can be very unsettling to experience feelings of depersonalization and derealization and may feel like you are living in a dream.

At some point, many people have a transitory experience of depersonalization or derealization. But it is called a depersonalization-derealization condition when these emotions begin to occur or never go away fully and interfere with the ability to work. In people who’ve had stressful experiences, this condition is more common.

Depersonalization-derealization disorder may be serious and can interfere with friendships, jobs and other everyday activities. Talk therapy (psychotherapy) is the preferred treatment for depersonalization-derealization disorder, although often drugs are also used.

‘I never feel in the moment’ signs

You forget how, literally or figuratively, you got where you are

Psychotherapist Jessica Tappana, LCSW, tells Bustle that arriving at a location or a line of thought without understanding how you got there is a sign that you’re on autopilot. Slow down and be intentional, maybe by taking a new path, about where you are going and how you get there. Give yourself time to enjoy the scenery. Maybe you’ll be shocked by what you find.

Your thoughts keep racing throughout the night

As you lie awake at night, one symptom of being in your mind is being lost in thought, says Tappana. Chances are, the same thoughts that distract you from sleeping in your waking life often distract you from meaningful experiences. Try to pay attention to your breathing pattern, the feel of your blanket, or other physical sensations. This will help you fall asleep as well, too.

You avoid circumstances where things could go wrong

We remain in our heads sometimes because it feels more comfortable than throwing ourselves into experiences. You could hold yourself in a bubble if you avoid social situations, new job opportunities, and other experiences because you fear something might go wrong, says Tappana. You may also not be putting anything out there when you find yourself in these circumstances.

The last thing you ate can’t be recalled

The way you interpret a meal, says Tappana, is the ideal mindfulness test. You could love all the different tastes and textures, or you couldn’t remember what you ate at all because you were in your head all the time. A better way to practice mindfulness can also be to enjoy a meal. Without any distractions, try to eat slowly and taste everything.

Nothing anymore seems enjoyable

The cruel irony of spacing out is that we’re doing it to amuse ourselves, but it also leaves us bored, so no new insight is being taken in. Psychotherapist Julie C Kull, LCSW, tells Bustle, “When you are always looking to the future or remembering the past, the present might be escaping you,” “To truly enjoy where you are right now in your life, you have to be present.”

You think that everything is about the future

Many people have a pattern of setting a potential target and deciding that they’ll be satisfied until it’s accomplished. We can stop planning and live in the present once we have a new apartment, a new career, a new relationship, or more income, the story goes. Then, we come up with a new target when we hit the goal. It’s a never-ending loop of pleasure infinitely deferred. The entire point of these goals is enjoying ourselves, and if happiness is only reserved for the future, we never get to do that.

You keep forgetting names

Sometimes, being terrible with names is just the consequence of not paying attention. It’s impossible, after all, to remember someone’s name when you’ve never really heard it. “When we aren’t present, we aren’t listening,” Mar Soraparu, a Studio Three empowerment coach and yoga teacher, tells Bustle. The more we are present at each moment, the more we can remember it.

You are always on your phone

Our gadgets will provide a quick escape when we’re unhappy at the moment. And our alerts can pull us out of the moment when we want to be there. Soraparu says, “Social media eats our time and distracts us from our thoughts,” “Controlled time is one thing, but mindless and endless exposure takes you out of your life and numbs your experience.”

You feel isolated from people

We feel hyperconnected to others when we’re genuinely present. Each facial expression, the motion of the body, or tonality becomes data that tells us what they think and feel. We tune out these signals when we’re not there. It’s like we’re talking, even though they’re right in front of us, on a phone. Even when we’re together, we have the nagging feeling of being isolated, and contact becomes a challenge. “If we are combative at work or with our loved ones, we aren’t working through our emotions clearly or we are avoiding them outright,”If we are combative at work or with our loved ones, we don’t work through our emotions explicitly or we ignore them outright. “Or, we are unable to communicate because we are worrying or numbing with other activities.”

Dealing with ‘I never feel in the moment’

Delete unwanted memories

Minimalism forces you, at the moment, to exist. Removing past memory-related things frees you and helps you to avoid living in the past. You will start living in the present until the past no longer has control.

Smile 

Every day is packed with endless opportunities! Get it started with a smile. Every morning, you are in control of your mood, keeping it confident and expectant. Be willful about it, and without even noticing it, you will find yourself doing it every day.

Full live today’s moments

The sights, the sounds, the smells, the thoughts, the triumph, and the sorrow, drink up as much of today as you can. These are in our everyday lives, but we always fail to take them in and enjoy them.

Forgive your past 

Choose to forgive and move on if you hold bitterness against another human being because of past hurts. The damage was their fault, but it is yours to allow it to affect your mood today.

Dream of the future, but work hard now 

Big hopes. Set targets and future plans. But the first step towards achieving your dreams tomorrow is always to work hard today. Don’t encourage living in the moment to replace worrying about tomorrow. It is only productive to dream about the future when paired with acts taken today.

Avoid being concerned

When you think so much about tomorrow, you can’t completely enjoy today. Realize that it’s going to happen tomorrow, whether or not you think about it. And because there has never been anything for someone to think about, channel your mental energies elsewhere.

In this guide, we discussed why thoughts like, ‘I never feel in the moment’ arise and how you can return to the present moment.

FAQs: I never feel in the moment