In this brief guide, we will discuss the theme, “I hate my mom.”
We will present the reasons why some people hate or can hate their moms and what should be done in such a situation.
You can also read some confessions of people who say, “I hate my mom.”
Why I hate my mom?
If people say, “I hate my mom,” means they have some reasons for saying that.
Here are some reasons that can cause hatred or make you feel like you hate your mom:
Additionally, some children not just hate their moms, but they hate parents in general.
Physical or psychological abuse
The child lives in constant tension, and the parent turns into their enemy, from whom they must defend themselves and wait for a blow.
Elders solve the problems in the family by physical punishment or by tough discipline.
If in the family it is forbidden for kids/teenagers to express themselves and their wishes then when they become adults they may get difficulties to talk about their worries and hate their parents.
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Invading a child’s life
Often children (even adult children) complain of the lack of boundaries.
It can be annoying and can lead to hatred of their parents and especially their moms in some cases.
Sometimes moms give their children gifts with conditions.
For example, a mom can give a new cell phone to her adult child with the condition that whenever she texts or calls, he/she must answer.
Though this is not a big thing, forwarding lots of emails to your children every day can drive them crazy, and be a reason to make children think, “I hate my mom.”
Enforcing to follow family traditions
Some moms do not want to realize that their children are adults; they have their own families and may want to make their own family traditions.
Such moms force children, for example, to gather to celebrate birthdays, or to celebrate Christmas in their paternal house.
Not being close
Nowadays, it is a common thing that moms may be the breadwinners of the family and hence go into a career which takes most of their time and reduces the time they have for their personal life.
It makes children get negative feelings and thoughts about their moms and they start thinking, “I hate my mom.”
This might be a reason why one thinks I hate my sister.
Lack of emotional connection
Some moms satisfy only their child’s primary needs.
They prefer to pretend that since the children are full and healthy, everything in their life is good.
If the child tries to talk about a conflictual situation at school or with friends, then the mom, not wanting to experience psychological discomfort, devalues her feelings: “The teacher is older than you – he is right,” “Deal with the offender yourself,” “You exaggerate.”
Becoming adults, children start feeling intense anger towards their moms, and that anger can lead to hatred.
They may end up saying, “I hate my mom.”
Тhe transference projection begins when the mom blames the children for everything.
She feels guilty, but to get rid of that unpleasant feeling, she tells her relatives and acquaintances that her children are unbearable.
So the parent saves herself from unpleasant feelings, shifts the blame on her adult children, thereby exacerbating her pain and resentment.
I hate my mom: Confessions and letters.
Unfortunately, it happens that we see poster slogans “I hate my mom,” “Mom hates me,” or tweets on Twitter or writings in Tumblr about this topic.
On the internet are memes, quotes, and stories about hatred towards moms, fathers, sisters and family in general.
My mom has hurt me so severely; I suffer from PTSD.
She is a hypocrite, manipulative, and plain old mean. She refuses to listen to anyone besides herself, is loud and brash, and never apologizes.
She is drinking and smoking herself into a dark hole that she will never climb out.
I hate her completely, and I have a right to hate. Sometimes there’s just nothing you or anyone else can say or do to change that.
I cannot forgive her for what she has done, and I have accepted that. She is no longer in my life. That is that.
Depending on what your mom has done, it may be appropriate to “hate” her at this point, but these things have a way of lifting as we get old.
What has worked for me is forgiveness or putting myself in her shoes as a mom.
Forgiving does not mean you have to interact with her, but at least there will not be the hardness in your heart.
Sometimes letting a family member go is what’s best for our own emotional and mental health.
They may not see it that way, but this is your life. Good luck!
As soon as you try to share your problem, you come across an impenetrable dogma that sits deep in the minds of most people.
“How can I say that! She is the mom! She raised you! She raised you.”
Because of the mass conviction in this, I began to see my guilt in my statements and scandals.
But then the time has come, and soon I will become a mom myself, once again I wonder: is it possible that there is a female genital organ and biological process of childbirth, then feeding and buying clothes makes a person a priori holy and right?
What kind of ***** did that come? Why does everyone believe that?
My mom ***** ******, which in my childhood did not ruin my mind, and although I have not lived with it for a long time (dumped at the first opportunity and wound around in rented apartments), I am still disintegrating the consequences for psyche from communicating with this person.
We hardly communicate with her, but when she dies, I will gladly come and dance on her grave.
And not the fact that when I give birth, I will become a normal mom.
It is just exciting: who came up with this “she is a mom, and she must be respected,” and why?
We naturally want to love our parents, but sometimes they behave in ways that make us hate them.
Sometimes these things are even unforgivable in our eyes.
However, the key to forgiveness and unconditional love for someone like a mom is to accept them.
Think of her not as your mom, but as a fellow human for a moment.
Recognize that all humans make mistakes and try to understand how she may be feeling at the time.
Keep doing so until you feel you understand her if you cannot.. try to love her only for being your mom- even if you would not otherwise.
We cannot choose who our biological family is, but we can choose how we feel about others for the most part.
Day by day, step out of your shoes a bit. Learning to love those around you regardless of their flaws is a fantastic skill to have and will make your own life more comfortable.
It is difficult but possible.
I hate my mom: What should I do to overcome this feeling?
Some people who feel negative feelings towards their moms and often say, “I hate my mom,” may have a wish to overcome this feeling.
Here are some tips that can help you to get over it, and make your relationship with your mom much more healthier:
- Become conscious about the reasons for your hatred and negative feelings towards your mom – Self-reflect, think about the situations when interacting with your mom, the thought “I hate my mom” crosses your mind, try to find the deep-seated reasons of your hatred. You can also write down your feelings to understand much better.
- Try to understand your mom – After being aware of the reasons, you should try to look at the situations from her point of view. It is possible that you will realize that she does not deserve your hatred or that she makes mistakes behaving in a particular way rather than saying some things.
- Forgive your mom and talk to her – There may be some situations when you get hurt from your mom, and you may want to stop all kind of interactions with her. But will that make you feel good? You should think well with a calm mind, and not act when you feel intense anger. Forgive your mom. Moms are also human beings, and like all people, they can make mistakes too. Talk to her when you are calm, explain your feelings, and let her explain hers too; listen to her. Many problems start because people do not listen to each other.
- Go to a psychological consultation – In the case, you find it hard and need to be supported by specialists, you can meet a psychologist, who can help to understand your feelings better, and will help you to find ways to overcome them.
Recommended books and sources
- A Daughter’s Confession
- Dear Mom, I Hate You
- HFNE “Acupuncture for Anxiety”
- HFNE “I Hate My Wife”
- I Think I Hate My Mom?: The Growth of a Mama’s Boy
- My Mom is the Worst: A Child’s Perspective on Parenting
Side Note: I have tried and tested various products and services to help with my anxiety and depression. See my top recommendations here, as well as a full list of all products and services our team has tested for various mental health conditions and general wellness.
In this brief guide, we discussed the reasons why some people say, “I hate my mom,” we also presented some confessions and letters about hatred towards moms from various kids.
Anyone can feel hatred or other negative feelings towards their parents, but you should overcome these feelings and forgive your mom; all people make mistakes sometimes without realizing it.
Try to be thankful to your mom for what she did for you, and forgive her for what she could not do.
- Avoid Mistakes That Could Make Your Kids Hate You
- Why do I hate my mom?
- How to stop hating your mother?