In this brief guide, called “I hate my friends,” we will discuss the reasons why you hate your friends.
You can also see some tips that can help you deal with that situation and get more favourable to your friends.
I Hate My Friends: Signs You are Starting to Hate Some of Your Friends
If recently you catch yourself on the thought “I hate my friends,” it can be a signal that something is wrong in your relationship with friends.
Maybe you have started hating them, but the fact that you use the word “friends,” talking about them, is a sign that you still have some affection for them.
To help you understand your feelings towards your friends better, we present some signs that you are starting to hate some of your friends:
- You are avoiding them – You find yourself avoiding your friends. You do not initiate meetings, and when they call you for a hangout, you find excuses not to go. You may see one of them outside but pretend that you did not notice, hoping he/she will not see you.
- You disagree with everything they say – You do not accept things they say, or you try to make them seem wrong, even if they are right or if the things are neutral.
- You talk about a friend with others more than with him/her – In this case, you should figure out what to do and how you can let him go.
- You feel anxious when you meet them – When people meet their friends, they feel excited in common. However, if you notice that every time you meet your friend or friends, and it makes you feel anxious, means you have got some negative feelings towards them, and you are possible that they lead to hatred.
- You are avoiding eye contact – While your friend or friends say something, and you want not to burst to shout something hurtful, you can find yourself avoiding eye contact and biting your tongue and fingers.
- After hangouts, your mood is bad – If after hangouts, your mood is wrong instead of being joyful, and if you think “I yell my friends,” this can be a sign of a developing hatred.
- You do not initiate contact – You do not initiate contact in any way: you do not call to know how they are doing, or you do not suggest to spend some time together. You like it being apart from friends.
- You feel like just placating their issues – If you feel like a problem-solver for your friends and you do not feel connected to them in other more profound ways, and you do not care about them, this can also signal about dislike.
- You profoundly disagree with something they do – If you see how your friend ruins his/her life and you try to keep him away from individual decisions, but he/she does not listen, your care for them can turn into anger, sadness, and hatred (depending on what they do).
I Hate My Friends: Confessions
I do not know what is wrong with me. I have no problem making friends at all, but I always end up hanging out with them, and it takes a while, but eventually, after a couple of years or later, even shorter of an amount of time, I can’t get past(passed?) their flaws even though I have plenty myself. I have had quite a few absolute best friends and always end up hating them. Nowadays, it does not even take as long for this to happen. I am upset about this and do not get it.
I can ‘drop’ people instantly too. It is not valid in all cases. However, once I have it in my mind that I hate someone, I have no issue never talking to them again.
I am very conflicted about this. I do not cause any drama or anything; I abandon everything.
I have recently left school and have started at university. Lately, I have been feeling more and more distanced from my high school friends, which I know is a common occurrence. I have made some friends at uni, but none I would consider to be good friends or people that I can discuss these sorts of things.
The thing is, I have started to feel something like hate towards my friends – especially to my best friend. I am growing increasingly intolerant of them, and am talking with them less and less. Every time I do have a chat with them, I feel agitated and angry, almost frustrated. When I am with my friends, I am incredibly irritable.
I have always enjoyed my own company, but I am starting to feel increasingly lonely, which is funny because I am the one pushing them away!
I know something as trivial as this probably belongs in a teen magazine advice column, but I figured I would throw it out there to see if any other people have dealt with the same issue and have any advice.
I Hate My Friends: The Reasons Why?
The reasons why you shout, “I hate my friends” can be different.
Here are some of them:
Your friends have changed
It is possible that your friends have changed and are not the same.
Try to be empathic and more understanding with your friends.
They may have a hard period in life, or they may be changed and have made new friends who are closer to them with their values and mentality than you.
It is also possible that you have got fake friends. You can come to that thought, for example, if they give you advice which is terrible to take.
Fake friends also do not care much about you, and they vanish when you get troubles or need an emotional or other kinds of support.
You have changed
You should consider this option too. You may be the reason why your relationship worsened.
Maybe you got changed evaluating life, your aims, and changing mentality.
Maybe you are distant from your friends, and you can wonder how you could have such friends.
It can cause some thoughts like “I hate my friends.”
Jealousy is often connected to hatred.
If you are in a period when you struggle a lot to live, and your friend has successes one after another and is happy and careless, it can make you jealous and feel hatred.
You will probably start avoiding him/her not to get informed about his/her success and feel bad.
If you suffer from depression, it can be a reason why you hate your friends.
As we know, depression is a medical illness that affects negatively on your mood, on the way you think and the way you act.
If you got offended by your friends while arguing over something, this can be a reason for you to hate them.
I Hate My Friends: What should I Do?
In the case you feel like yelling, “I hate my friends,” here are some tips that can be helpful for you:
- Take a paper and write all the good qualities of your friend/friends whom you hate. It can at least reduce the negativity towards them.
- Meet your friend/friends, and talk about your feelings, tell them what you think. Maybe you had a misunderstanding, and when you discuss, you can find a solution to the problem.
- Do not gossip about your friends whom you hate. The less you think and talk badly about the person you hate, the better.
- Try to be more tolerant of people.
- Minimize the contact with the friend/friends whom you hate. In the absence of constant communication, the negative will gradually reduce.
- Consider counseling. A professional psychologist or therapist can help you understand your feelings and clarify your future steps.
- Work on personal development. Learning new skills, meditating, and living a healthy life can change your life perception, making it positive. It can help to overcome hatred.
I Hate My Friends: Quotes
Friendship has essential meaning, and it is one of the values in people’s lives.
Here are some quotes that can change your friendship perception, and help you get rid of the thought “I hate my friends”:
“Ultimately, the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or friendship, is conversation.”
– Oscar Wilde
“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.”
– Walter Winchell
“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You do it too? I thought I was the only one.”
– C.S. Lewis
“True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable.”
– David Tyson
“A single rose can be my garden… a single friend, my world.”
– Leo Buscaglia
“Do not make friends with whom is comfortable. Make friends who will force you to lever yourself up.”
– Thomas J. Watson
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
— Dale Carnegie
“I do not need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.”
“In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”
– Albert Schweitzer
“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”
– Friedrich Nietzsche
“No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.”
– Alice Walker
“Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a wonderful nature to sympathize with a friend’s success.”
– Oscar Wilde
“The tender friendships one gives up, on parting, leave their bite on the heart, but also a curious feeling of a treasure somewhere buried.”
– Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Recommended books and sources
- Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy
- HFNE “Depression”
- HFNE “I Hate My Body”
- How to Win Friends & Influence People
- I Hate Everyone
- I Hate Everyone But You: A Novel about Best Friends
- Video “I Hate My Friends”
Side Note: I have tried and tested various products and services to help with my anxiety and depression. See my top recommendations here, as well as a full list of all products and services our team has tested for various mental health conditions and general wellness.
In this brief guide, we presented the signs that you are starting to hate your friend/friends.
The reasons why you shout, “I hate my friends.”
If you feel negativity towards your friend/friends, at first you should talk to them, it can be helpful.
If it does not help, keep calm, and try the other tips that we suggested.
Please feel free to comment on the content or ask any questions in the comments section below.
What we recommend for Relationship & LGBTQ issues
- If you are having relationship issues or maybe you are in an abusive relationship then relationship counselling could be your first point of call. Relationship counselling could be undertaken by just you, it does not require more than one person.
If you are dealing with LGBTQ issues then LGBTQ counselling may be a great option for you. Maybe you are confused as to your role and identity or simply need someone to speak to. LGBTQ counsellors are specially trained to assist you in this regard.