I hate everyone (A brief guide)

In this blog post, we will discuss why you may feel like “I hate everyone” and how to overcome the feeling.

“I hate everyone” or ‘I hate humans’, have you heard it before? Probably a few times in your life.

Everyone gets annoyed or irritated at someone at some point in their lives, some people more than others but this is normal.

In addition, people might identify themselves as a misanthrope, someone who dislikes humankind to the point they avoid human society.

It consists of a generalized hatred, dislikes or distrusts towards human nature or species. 

In some cases, our negative experiences with other people outgrow the good experiences, for instance, maybe we have such noisy neighbors that won’t let us sleep or maybe you have experienced how a relative has disappointed you many times over, triggering the thought “I hate everyone”.

Many of the people who say “I hate everyone” are simply trying to express their frustration or that by saying this it will protect them from harm or pain.

In this modern world, it has actually become a trend due to the constant changes, the uncertainty, and the fear about tomorrow.

Also, this negative and pessimistic way of viewing humankind can be caused by bad experiences in general when interacting with other people or simply being disappointed many times over or just seeing how human beings tend to have a destructive nature where they tend to destroy everything around them. 

“Researchers have found that this type of cynicism can also show up as a temporary symptom of burnout: When we are living in a state of time scarcity and overwhelm, we lose sight of our values and need for connection, and other humans can begin to feel like distractions and stressful obligations”, according to Shonda Moralis from cnbc.com. 

If you claim that I hate my friends, you should be aware of the reasons and ways of coping with it.

Why do I hate everyone?

The truth is we all get irritated at some point with other people, but for some, this can develop into what feels like complete hatred for another individual.

Disliking other people is normal, and even to hate someone based on our particular experience with them (or someone else’s dear to us).  

However, if you started to feel you hate everyone, in general, this can actually cause some trouble in your life and relationships which can also be an underlying issue or unresolved issue within yourself. 

According to regain.us, “you need to decipher whether you truly hate others or if something else may be bothering you. If it truly is hatred that you’re feeling so often, there are quite a few reasons why you may feel that way, as well as some solutions to overcoming those sentiments to have healthier relationships and happier experiences.”

But do we really hate everyone? It would be the main question.

The first thing you may need to analyze is if your source of hate is caused by other factors around you or you just don’t want to be around anyone so you don’t have to deal with them.

We are social beings, so interacting regularly with other people is nearly impossible to avoid. 

Consider that your idea of hating everyone can be related to personality traits such as being an introvert, which means you feel more comfortable when you have a closed group of friends to are used to and you find social settings exhausting or draining.

This can actually make you believe you hate them. 

Another factor to consider is burnout from social interactions since certain jobs or activities require constant social interaction and sometimes you may not have an easy person to deal with.

In addition, if you suffer from social anxiety, this can lead you to believe you actually hate everyone making you very uncomfortable, nervous and anxious when being exposed to social situations where there is a possibility you may be humiliated or embarrass yourself. 

Lastly, having a stressful job that is related to dealing with people can be both as exciting with lots of positive interactions but often the same amount of negative too.

You may not really hate everyone, but you are more exposed to have unpleasant situations with people which can lead you to conclude you hate everyone. 

Our response when we dislike someone

According to Headspace “In order to understand what happens in your body when you dislike someone, you can start by trying to understand fear. As Robert Sapolsky writes in “Why Your Brain Hates Other People,” when we see someone who looks different from us, “there is preferential activation of the amygdala,” which means the brain region associated with fear and aggression flares up.”

This emotional reaction has the ability to ignite a long-term pattern of dislike when it is backup or supported by action such as you perceiving that someone has hurt you, your fear then becomes rational.

The negative feelings that are now associated with being in the presence of someone as the bad experiences are more significant than any good experiences we may have had, the negative thoughts will tend to trigger out fear response mechanism or flight-or-fight response.

In this sense, the person or certain people become stressors and trigger our response even though it is not actually considered a life or death situation.

Our brain won’t differentiate between a real threat such as someone pointing a machete at you or having to be in the same room as someone you actually dislike or hate. 

In an ideal world, every person we interact with would be nice, mindful, generous, considerate and will tend to have a personality that resembles ours but it is not a general rule and certainly doesn’t happen all the time.

Sometimes we have to deal with people we like and sometimes we have to live or work with people with actually don’t.

However, consider that it is nearly impossible for people to like other people equally.

Knowing how to cope when thinking “I hate everyone” is the key.

How do I overcome the “I hate everyone” Mentality

You may have to see people you clearly dislike since when you are around them you feel sick, your heart beats faster, your palms get sweaty and just the thought of having to talk to them makes you want to puke.

However, sometimes, such as in a work-related setting, you have to, there is no other choice. 

In some cases, all you need is some alone time for yourself since you find overwhelming the number of people you have to deal with every day, especially if you have a job that involves a customer service role.

Perhaps you just need to set aside some time to relax, unwind and reset yourself so you can be ready next time you are required to interact with other people.

In addition, according to regain.

Us “Many people have different views on things in life, and this is often due to several different factors. A lot of people have different beliefs, different upbringings, and different experiences that affect how they think and feel about things, and sometimes they may have some strong opinions that conflict with your own. There’s nothing wrong with a healthy debate but allowing arguing and differing views on an issue to make you feel as if you hate someone isn’t accomplishing anything, nor is it good for your overall health.”

Here the key is to learn how to agree to disagree. 

However, there are more strategies out there to shift your “I hate everyone” mentality if your thought is related to a specific person or a group of people you seem to dislike or not tolerate.

For instance, focusing on the positive instead of the negative, forgiving people that did you wrong instead of holding onto anger,  needing to set some boundaries and limits, understanding why you really feel this way towards others, etc. 

Try to stay calm

Our emotions can play games on us, sometimes they will take over, something like the famous case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde or sometimes we feel we have a Hulk waiting to come out at any moment.

Knowing how to deal with our emotions and stay calm under any circumstances that may trigger is very important. 

We know dealing with people who stress you out can complicate your ability to regulate and maintain a calm approach.

However, start by taking a deep breath and quiet your mind letting go of the thought that is making you arouse.

Also, it is ideal you can express those emotions you have inside at an appropriate time and being assertive. 

Focus on what is important when communicating

Bringing up past feuds related to previous conflicts or problems can be tempting when communicating with those who we dislike or seem to hate.

However, what this does is clouding your judgment and the real issue will eventually keep growing, making mutual understanding and finding a solution to the current problem less likely. 

Focus on keywords and what is important, try to analyze the situation leaving your emotions aside and try to rationalize your thought into finding an appropriate solution. 

Set limits/boundaries

Some people tend to make us feel the same every time we interact with them if this is the case try to come up with limits or boundaries for them so you can cultivate your mental health and stay sane.

Identifying what actually makes you get angry or what bothers you from that person is important, getting clear about what makes you feel crazy is key.

For instance, if someone tends to make racist comments or criticize your religious background and you are clearly not comfortable with it, make sure to let them know in a polite and assertive way to avoid making such comments in your presence.

Identify what actually bothers you about them

Once you have identified their specific behaviors then try to do your best to keep your emotions under control.

Digging a little deeper and going beyond their behavior can let you come up with a strategy to help you deal with them and they behave in the best way possible. 

Coming up with strategies is key here since they will help you prevent your emotions from being everywhere and clouding your judgment, to staying calm and relaxed whenever possible.

Listen to your body

When you are upset or angry towards someone, your body will make sure to let you know and you will actually feel it too.

Spend some time identifying and paying attention to your body and the emotions, physical symptoms and how you are feeling at the moment.

Attempt to answer the question, how are my emotions linked to my physical symptoms?

Is it pressure in your chest, the tension in your muscles or throbbing in your jaw?

All of these physical symptoms are examples of common responses to anxiety or stressful situations.

Additionally, all of those anxiety-related symptoms have many ways and strategies for you to cope with them, such as yoga, meditation, reading, writing, eating healthy and exercising or going to therapy. 

You are in control, don’t forget it!

Some people like to step into other boundaries or they just simply know which buttons to push so they get on your nerves.

When emotions control your behavior it can be difficult to change perspective and see the bigger picture to find a potential solution to the situation.

However, don’t let anyone steal your inner peace, your calmness, and your happiness because if you let them win, all they want is to destabilize you. 

Side Note: I have tried and tested various products and services to help with my anxiety and depression. See my top recommendations here, as well as a full list of all products and services our team has tested for various mental health conditions and general wellness.

Why is this blog about “I hate everyone” important?

We have discussed how the phrase “I hate everyone” can be very powerful and can turn a belief into a fact by giving into finding examples to support such belief, on the other hand, if we believe the opposite we will tend to do the same. 

In contrast, you can find yourself saying “I hate everyone” because you are generalizing the dislike or hate you feel for certain people that happen to be part of humankind.

Ask yourself why you feel this way towards them so you can come up with a strategy or a solution to feel better around them, especially when they are unavoidable.

Remember you are responsible and in total control over your emotions, do not let other people gain power over you by darkening your day with their mere presence. 

Please feel free to comment in the comments section below!

What we recommend for Relationship & LGBTQ issues

Relationship counselling

  • If you are having relationship issues or maybe you are in an abusive relationship then relationship counselling could be your first point of call. Relationship counselling could be undertaken by just you, it does not require more than one person.

LGBTQ issues

If you are dealing with LGBTQ issues then LGBTQ counselling may be a great option for you. Maybe you are confused as to your role and identity or simply need someone to speak to. LGBTQ counsellors are specially trained to assist you in this regard.

References

Regain.us

Cnbc.com

Headspace.com

Talkspace.com

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