This article will guide readers on how to deal with a spouse who hides their drinking habits. Furthermore, it will explain why a husband may hide their alcoholic behavior and how one can spot the hidden clues to determine if he is lying or not.
Why Does My Husband Lie About His Drinking Habits – 5 Reasons
Your husband may lie about his drinking habits for a number of reasons such as:
- No Productive Support
- Criticism – You Put Him Down
- Stress – He Needs The Booze
- Other Problems
- He Needs Real Help
Let us take a look at each reason in detail now!
No Productive Support
Before you hold your husband accountable for his drinking habits, you need to examine your own behaviour. Do you just tell him to stop or actually put in an effort to help him stop? Many spouses resort to the blame game only and do not do anything practical to help their significant other stop their drinking problems. The partner who is suffering from this realizes the lack of support they have from their spouse. This not only gives them a reason to carry on with their habit but they may not be able to actually help it. Furthermore, they may be upset because of the lack of support and this feeling may backfire and cause them to continue their drinking habits.
A good example of lack of support would be to throw a party and offer drinks to everyone there while knowing your husband is suffering from this problem and has a hard time controlling his habits. Another example could be going out to a restaurant that serves drinks; look for a restaurant or cafe that does not primarily focus on this type of beverage.
Here are some tips to help your husband when it comes to his drinking problem:
- Remove items such as glasses or champagne holders from the home
- If the problem is serious, try to control what content he watches or reads; if there is excessive reference to drinking then help him focus on other content.
- Avoid going to places or parties where drinking is normal or excessive – at least until he gains some control over his habits
- Help him try new foods and drinks – it will shift his focus
- Talk to him about his other problems; most of the time people resort to drinking to get over stressors.
Criticism – You Put Him Down
You may be trying to help him but you might be doing more harm than help! Sometimes catching your husband drinking when he promised not to can result in a fight that entails much criticism. You may get frustrated – which is natural – and start hurling accusations at him expressing your disappointment! After all, you must have given up a lot to help him solve his drinking problem. You may even degrade him by saying how weak he is; the possibilities are many!
What is the result of this? Not only will your husband feel worse but his anger or upset mood may cause him to drink even more to displease you. He will either start drinking openly in retaliation to your behavior or carry on doing it in a covert mode. Hence, your efforts will go down the drain because of the fight you had where you criticized him excessively. It is imperative to understand that your husband is guilty of his habits but he cannot help it and will be experiencing emotional struggles where he also feels guilty and put down. Further criticism will only make things worse.
Stress – He Needs The Booze
Before you stop him, take a look at his situation. Why is he drinking? Is it just because of habit or is he going through other problems that create stress for him. Does he have issues at the workplace? Is he having arguments with his best friend? Did he lose a deal he was very passionate about? All of these possible scenarios can push him into a spiral of stress and even depression.
If this is true, the situation is more complex and not only does his drinking habit need to be controlled but his problems need attention. It is possible that until his problems are solved, it would be counter productive to end his drinking problem altogether.
Your husband may be stuck in other problems or bad influences. He may have friends that do not realize his situation and encourage him to drink on without any worry! It is also possible he is stuck in an extra marital affair that causes him to engage in drinking on the insistence of his new found ‘love’. He may also be engaging in drinking to get over the guilt of what he has been doing.
It is necessary to deal with these problems first.
He Needs Real Help
It is possible that your husband’s drinking problems are out of control. He may have developed an addiction that cannot be stopped just by not drinking. He may need real help which he is not getting. Addiction can kill and needs to be dealt with very carefully.
If you think your husband is addicted, refer to a rehabilitation center where you can receive proper guidance on how to handle the situation and what services or treatments may be needed.
How To Identify A Lying Husband – Drinking Illegally
It is not difficult to catch your man doing something wrong. Other than the natural instinct God has gifted women with, there are a number of clues you can look for to verify your sixth sense such as:
- Smell his clothes – you won’t miss it
- Keep an eye on his routine, if he is missing from work it is possible he went for a drink
- Ask his friends – the ones you trust – to help keep an eye on him
- Visit the local bar – you might see him there
- Observe his behavior – monitor him if he seems restless. If he asks to go out it is possible he has decided to get a drink because he can’t take it anymore.
Dealing With An Alcoholic Husband – Never Easy
Apart from the constant fear that he may take out his anger on you if he is drunk, there are many reasons why you need to deal with this issue that include health problems, potential risks to your children’s safety and your marriage as well as work related problems.
So, how can you deal with this issue in a more mature way? Let’s take a look:
- Talk to him: figure out if the problem is the habit itself or is there a deeper underlying problem such as depression or stress.
- Involve his close circle: You need to ensure his environment allows him to take the steps he needs to. If his friends keep encouraging him to drink then it will be difficult for him to stop.
- Be there for him: You need to help him focus on other things in life by keeping him busy and distracted. Spend more time with him.
- Help: If the problem is serious, get professional help.
If out of control, drinking can become a serious threat to one’s own health and the safety of others. Every year, so many people are killed or seriously injured because of drunk drivers, domestic abuse cases and violence that can be attributed to drinking largely. It is necessary that a person observes care when they engage in such behaviours and does not go overboard in their habits – it can cause harm to even the closest of people.
Over time, excessive alcohol use can lead to the development of chronic diseases and other serious problems including:
- High blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, liver disease, and digestive problems.
- Cancer of the breast, mouth, throat, esophagus, liver, and colon.
- Weakening of the immune system, increasing the chances of getting sick.
- Learning and memory problems, including dementia and poor school performance.
- Mental health problems, including depression and anxiety.
- Social problems, including lost productivity, family problems, and unemployment.
- Alcohol use disorders, or alcohol dependence.
By not drinking too much, you can reduce the risk of these short- and long-term health risks.
The article focused on why a husband may lie about their drinking habits and attributed this to reasons such as criticism, no support from their spouse or other problems such as stress. Furthermore, the article highlighted what a spouse can do to help their significant other control their drinking problem. The article also shed light on clues that can help you determine if your husband drinks and how to deal with it. Lastly, the article also cited the possible harms of excessive drinking.