How to stop caring what people think?

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This article will focus on showing you the best ways to stop caring what other people think. It will also give you a look at how it can feel to be anxious about what other people think of you, and why that can happen.

How to stop caring what people think? 

If you want to stop caring about what people think, there are ways to practice that. Here is what you may want to do.

Know that other people will have their opinions about you 

It is a simple fact: we are not able to control what other people think. Whether we want it or not, people around us will always perceive us in a determined way, and make assumptions based on that. 

Keeping in mind that this will happen no matter what you do will help you to differentiate that people will only think about you when it is related to a negative matter.

But that you can take back control over how you feel 

You may not be able to control what people think of you, but you do have control over how it affects you. What they think is not something that should define you. To prevent yourself from being caught up in other people’s perceptions of you, you may want to practice mindfulness.

It can help to go through mindfulness techniques, meditation, or even yoga. But doing activities that will help you focus more on the moment, being more aware of how you feel, accept it, and not be so moved by those negative ideas.

Have in mind that no one is perfect 

When we care too much about what other people think, it may come from the idea that we all should be perfect, and that the slightest mistake would define us forever through other people’s eyes.

To deal with that you should consider that even the people that are thinking about you also make mistakes. Aside from that, looking at mistakes more as possibilities to grow than failures will help you have a different perspective.

Work on yourself, and also on your confidence 

Thinking about who you are, your values and your worth will ultimately make you less exposed to what people think of you. If you have a better notion of who you are, you don’t depend too much on what other people think.

It can even happen that they don’t agree with you. But if you have a clear view of yourself, that won’t matter. The two of you will be able to discuss the matter, but you won’t feel the need to attend to the other person. 

Don’t try to guess what other people are thinking of you

When we care too much about what people think we may constantly keep an eye on how people are behaving, and perceiving us. This is a way to desperately try to control what other people think, but in most cases, we assume wrongly.

Consider if that is a reliable person 

It is important to know that it is normal to care about what people think of you, but there should be a limit to it, and you should consider the source of those thoughts. Letting the thoughts of a person you just met take over, and define who you are is just a way to harm yourself.

No one can know who you are from a brief encounter, let alone form a full opinion of you. You should not take into consideration the thoughts of people that tend to be overly critical of others. In that way, thinking of the source of the thoughts can help you set apart what is useful, and what is not.

Know we tend to be our worst critic 

We may have thoughts about what other people think of us, but what you should keep in mind is that usually, we are our worst critics. We may be thinking a lot more negative things about ourselves than the people around us, and even if we make a mistake, it is unlikely that people will define us for that.

Have people around you with whom you have positive relationships with 

Having positive relationships will allow you to see how people can have different thoughts about you rather than the negative ones you have about yourself. 

Having positive relationships also mean that you will have people that are supportive, and willing to be by your side even when you make a mistake, helping you understand that a mistake doesn’t define you.

Look for help 

If you feel that caring about what other people think of you is taking control of your life, it may be time to look for professional help. Talking to a therapist may help you understand the root of this concern, and how it relates to your life story, and create strategies to cope with it.

Work on how you judge others

Usually, when we are caring too much about what people think of us it may be a sign that we also spend too much of our time judging what other people do. Being accepting of others may also be a way of learning that others can be accepting of you.

How does it feel when I care about what people think of me? 

Caring about what people think of you can be extremely stressful. Although it is perfectly normal to desire to be liked and even get some form of approval, sometimes this can take over you, and make you feel stuck in a thought pattern that only thinks of all the things you have done wrong. And that can be detrimental to your mental health.

Caring about what people think makes criticism takes over any type of compliment you may have experienced. In these cases, caring what other people think harms you. It can make you begin to change yourself to avoid criticism. 

It can also mean that you will let others take control of your life, making it harder for you to maintain boundaries. It may also be a sign that you are a perfectionist, and that you wouldn’t expose your thoughts, or feelings if it feels like others won’t approve of what you are saying.

You might only feel at peace when others approve of you, and you may be constantly apologizing to others, and preventing yourself from saying no.

But caring for what people think is not always a negative thing.

When we care about what people think more positively, it is what will allow us to keep meaningful relationships. It is what allows you to live in a community and consider that you can’t take only your thoughts, as a rule, you should consider others as well.

Why do I care about what people think of me?

As said before, caring for what people think may have a positive aspect to it. It is what will allow us to live in a community. It is what will relate to our need for companionship, and even what makes us feel stimulated.

But when caring about what people think turns into a negative thing, it may be related to rumination, low self-esteem, and some forms of mental health issues such as social anxiety, or depression.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): How to stop caring what people think? 

Can a person’s attachment style change?

Yes, a person’s attachment style can change. But that is not a simple thing. To change your attachment style, it may be that you need to put a lot of energy, and effort. It may be necessary for you to go to therapy, and understand what led you to have the attachment style you have.

Through all that, you may be able to begin to explore other forms of connecting to people, and maybe develop a different attachment style.

What is social anxiety?

Social anxiety is a type of anxiety disorder that can make the person intensely anxious whenever they see themselves around people. They can fear that they will be judged by others, about how others will perceive them, or even if they are capable of being a part of those interactions.

When in a social situation, the person with social anxiety can feel their heart beating faster, and their breathing also increases. They can begin to shake, sweat, and feel the extremities of their bodies, like feet, and hands become numb.

What is a good exercise to practice self-validation?

If you want to practice validating yourself more often, you may want to remove yourself from places in which you feel you compare yourself to others, such as social media. That will allow you to look at yourself differently, without asking too much of yourself.

Writing how you have been feeling, what things you are proud of in yourself, and in your life, and what things you need to improve can also help. Having a clear view of your accomplishments, and becoming more self-aware will allow you to not compare yourself too much to others, and validate yourself more.

What is the difference between affirmation, and validation?

Affirmation means that someone is telling you something they know for a fact. You can, for example, tell someone you love them, and you say that because you feel it, and can be assertive about it.

When you are giving someone validation means that you may not always agree with what the person is doing, or saying. But you recognize that what they are saying, or doing has value, and it means something. 

What is invalidation?

Invalidation is what happens when someone is invalidating you. By doing that, they are denying, or rejecting what you are saying, feeling, or doing. Invalidation is a way to disregard what the person is going through, or feels.

When you invalidate someone, it means that you are having trouble understanding that others may not understand things in the same way as you do. It is possible that sometimes a person can invalidate others without ever even noticing, or they can do it as a way to manipulate the other person. It can also be a sign of low empathy or even compassion.

Conclusion 

This article discussed what are the best ways for you to stop caring what other people think of you. Aside from that, the article gave an insightful look at how it feels to worry about what others think of you, and why that happens.

If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write them in the section below.

References

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/where-science-meets-the-steps/201610/8-ways-stop-worrying-about-what-other-people-think?amp
https://psychcentral.com/blog/mental-shifts-to-stop-caring-what-people-think-of-you#tips

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