How to reach out to people when you need them?

In this blog, we will discuss how you can reach out to people when you need them.

How to reach out to people when you need them?

Counseling is Key to a Healthy Marr... x
Counseling is Key to a Healthy Marriage

Here are some ways that you can reach out to people when you need them:

  • Ask your loved ones for support
  • Leave them a message or mail
  • Be patient
  • Realise others may be struggling too
  • Join an online forum
  • Work with a therapist
  • Participate in a group
  • Contact a hotline
  • Talk to a spiritual leader

There are times in our lives when we struggle with challenges that almost seem impossible to overcome. When this happens, we need the support and advice of people we trust and love. 

However, for people who do not seek out support from others- the kind of people who do not take help from others- this can be an awkward and difficult thing to do. 

Irrespective of why seeking out help from others is difficult for you, you have to understand that it is normal to ask for help.

Here are a few things you can do to reach out to people when you need them:

Ask your loved ones for support

One of the first things that you can do if you need someone is to ask them if they can be there for you. 

You have to understand that people cannot read your mind nor can they truly understand what struggles you are dealing with. 

So if you want to reach out to people when you need them is to ask. If asking directly is so difficult for you, you can ask them over the phone or through text.

Let them know that you are having a hard time and ask them if they can spend some time listening to you.

Leave them a message or a mail

You also have the option of leaving them a message explaining what is happening to you and that you would like support and advice through mail or messages. 

It is important that you also let them know exactly what you need- their physical presence, advice, or just a listening ear. 

To clear the air between you and the person you are reaching out to, it is better that you clearly state your needs so that they know what to do since they cannot deduce what you need if you do not express yourself. 

Be patient

You have to understand that people have their own lives to tend to and while your struggles might be all consuming to you, you have to understand that people cannot drop their own lives to tend to you. So after you make contact with them, be patient and wait for them to respond. 

Realise Others May Be Struggling

If your friends or loved ones are not receptive, don’t take it personally. 

It is important to remember that people might not be able to offer their support when they are struggling to cope with their own problems or feelings. 

Their inability to provide any internal sources to provide you the support you need does not mean that they don’t care about you; it is just that they just don’t have the emotional strength to take care of others when they are having a hard time caring for themselves.

It is important that you do not take things personally when this happens because internalising this and engaging in self blame or negative self-views can only make it worse. 

Join an Online Forum 

If your friends and loved ones are not available at this time, during those times when you feel like you need to talk with someone right away, you can consider an online forum where you can talk about whatever is bothering you. 

Usually these forums are free of charge and are moderated as well whereas others are not. 

The online forums can tackle various topics from mental health to relationships issues etc. 

It is just a matter of finding out what it is that you want to talk about and writing out your message on the thread and interacting with other users to get the support and advice that you might need. 

Work With a Therapist

Engaging with a therapist, being diligent with treatment, and making the lifestyle changes you need to make to get better will determine your prognosis.

You have the possibility of seeking out therapists who are aligned with your needs, who are informed and educated of the same and those who can help you deal with a specific problem. 

Your therapist will help you understand what is happening to you, might prescribe you medication if needed, and can help you tap into your own strengths that can help you adapt to challenges, changes, and overcome them.

Participate in a Group

Another thing you can do for yourself is to join a support group of people struggling with the same issues so that you can experience emotional support first hand within these communities and over time learn how to manage your challenges by learning from each other. 

It is possible that people with depression can also struggle with a sense of worthlessness, a feeling that you have nothing of value to offer. 

By joining a group that is open, empathetic, and growing towards healing, you and your experiences can be an excellent sense of support to someone else who is also in their early part of their journey. 

Contact a Hotline

Here are a few resources that you can make use of if you are suicidal, depressed, or engageing in self harm. 

  • Call 116 123 to talk to Samaritans, or email: [email protected] for a reply within 24 hours
  • Text “SHOUT” to 85258 to contact the Shout Crisis Text Line, or text “YM” if you’re under 19
  • If you’re under 19, you can also call 0800 1111 to talk to Childline. The number will not appear on your phone bill.
  • Self Injury Support webchat (for women and girls) is open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 7pm to 9.30pm
  • CALM webchat (for men) is open from 5pm to midnight every day

Talk to a spiritual leader

If you are struggling, you also have the option of contacting your spiritual leaders for advice and guidance. 

It is likely that they have come across many others who have also faced this issue as you are currently facing and it is likely that they have helped them through it. 

So, seek them out and ask them for advice, be honest about what you feel, and ask them to help you through it. 

Why is it important that you connect with others?

Connecting with other people as an important aspect of an individual’s life and social connection is a need for an individual to flourish in life. 

It is important that we maintain a healthy level of social connection with others because it not only provides connection, comfort, and understanding but serves as an avenue to share one’s experiences with other people as a result of which it helps prevent feelings of loneliness and isolation.

Some of the important reasons as to why it is important to connect with others include:

Relieves stress

Talking to another person relieves stress and helps build a sense of support which can help minimise the problem because when one feels supported, they might feel more capable of handling the situation or the crisis. 

When they are able to connect with other people, they are also able to find support as a result of which they feel less isolated and alone in their struggles. 

Sharing experiences can also help in the process of decision making or solution forming as it exposes the individual to new perspectives and ideas from that of shared experience of other people and thus, it could help them in the process of problem solving. 

Longer life

According to writers at verywellming, strong and healthy social connection could be linked to longer life and better health as it plays the role of adding to the individual sense of happiness and life satisfaction. 

Healthy and positive social relationships can help reduce stress, feel supported, and  motivated to engage and enjoy their lives- this in turn can help them be healthier- psychically and mentally- and this can help them live longer. 

Conclusion

In this blog we have discussed what are some of the things that you can do to reach out to people when you need them as well as why it is important to connect with other people. 

FAQ related to How to reach out to people when you need them?

How do you reach out without asking how you are?

If you want to reach out to someone without asking the normal “how are you?” you can do something like:

“I really appreciate you being in my life. I’ve been looking forward to talking to you. I care about you. I wanted to ask if you have time this weekend to catch up?”

Why am I afraid of reaching?

One of the major reasons why people are afraid of reaching out is because they are ashamed of their struggles and believe that they will be judged for their inability to handle their own sleeves and their own life- which is a major misconception. 

Another reason is that they are afraid that they will be rejected even if they reach out to people. 

What to say to support a friend?

The best way that you can support a friend who is having a hard time is to let them know that you are present to listen to them if nothing else. 

Here are some examples of what you can say to them:

  • ‘Hey, I’m here for you if you want to talk. 
  • ‘You’re my mate, I’m here for you whenever. 
  • ‘You’ve not seemed like yourself lately. Do you want to talk about it?

What to do if a friend is isolating themselves?

If your friend is isolating themselves you can ask them about it and let them know that you are there for them when they are having a hard time. Next, you have to give them the space you need while being present for them when they need you and are ready to talk about whatever is bothering them. 

References

Gordon.S. What to Do When You Need Someone to Talk To. Verywellmind. Retrieved on 13th April 2022. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-to-do-when-you-need-someone-to-talk-to-5089236

Emma Pattee. How to Have Closer Friendships (and Why You Need Them). The New York Times. Retrieved on 11th April 2022. https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/20/smarter-living/how-to-have-closer-friendships.html

Tracy Bower. You Probably Need More Friends—Here’s How To Make Them. Forbes. Retrieved on 11th April 2022. https://www.forbes.com/sites/tracybrower/2021/09/26/you-probably-need-more-friends-heres-how-to-make-them/?sh=3863d9bd458f

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