In this guide, we will discuss “How to not be nervous before kissing?” and some tips before, during and after kissing that person you like or you are interested about. Moreover, there are a few things to consider about kissing someone for the first time.
How to not be nervous before kissing and how to not be nervous for your first kiss
If you are wondering, ‘How not to be nervous before kissing?’ Let us say that it is completely normal if you do, especially if it is your first kiss. However, if it isn’t your first kiss but you are about to kiss someone for the first time you are also allowed to feel nervous.
There are mostly 3 different scenarios, the first is that there is someone you really like and you are planning on kissing them soon. Maybe you have talked about it with the person, you are planning something special for that moment or you simply feel it is about to happen at any time.
The second scenario relates to having someone special or someone you really like in your life and you are hoping to kiss them one day or eventually. Finally, the third scenario could be that you are just curious about it and would like to be prepared for when the time comes.
It doesn’t really matter the scenario you are able to relate to at this moment but understanding that kissing isn’t as hard as it seems. Most people think they may not be good kissers or they get anxious about the idea of the other person not being a good kisser even if they really like them.
You will also enjoy learning about the tips from a hopeless romantic.
How not to be nervous to kiss a guy or girl (Before)
First of all, it is important to let things run their course and stop overthinking about it. This will only build up more anxiety and the chances of doing something that could jeopardize the moment will increase. If you go thinking ‘I am going to mess things up’ unconsciously you may.
Moreover, it is all about the little details. For instance, making sure you and your breath smells good will take a pressure off your shoulders. If you are able to, take a shower and use deodorant, brush your teeth and don’t forget the tongue. Avoid eating spicy food, something that has too much garlic or onions.
Don’t go into the situation thinking about how you ‘need’ to have the perfect first kiss or having really high expectations towards your crush or someone you truly like. This will only set an incredible amount of pressure on you and the person you are about to kiss.
In addition, you could prepare your lips by keeping them moist and smooth. You could use a chapstick or a lip balm but if you use gloss, avoid putting too much. Also, think about the kind of place you might like to kiss, for instance, somewhere private or a public place.
Finally, consider the best time or appropriate moment to kiss this person and try to read their body language. For instance, if they try to touch your arm, hand, your back, shoulders, look into your eyes, you catch them looking at your lips or they are smiling at you most of the time then they probably want to kiss you. Otherwise, if they behave the opposite way, seem distant, distracted, avoid eye contact then they may not be interested in being kissed.
If you feel shy or unsure, try asking for their permission but be prepared for their answer.
You might also like to learn tips on how not to be nervous for your first time, as this moment brings with it a lot of anticipation, overwhelming emotions, anxiety and excitement. All at once.
Tips before and during your kissing time!
Now you are about to make your move and kiss the person you like. First, move your face and body closer to theirs. If you are sitting, turn a little to face them and move your face closer to theirs. You could try putting your arm around them or grabbing their hand. However, if you are hugging just try putting your forehead on their forehead so your lips get closer.
If you are prepared and in position for kissing, try not to go all the way at once. You could start slowly and progress into it letting the other person engage two. This way you could be certain they want to kiss you too. If they pull away or feel distant then it is time to reconsider and stop.
There isn’t a special technique you should know, so everything should come naturally. As you move your face towards theirs just tilt your head slightly so you avoid hitting them with your nose. However, if you do end up hitting them with your nose just laugh about it and keep going for the kiss. Slightly part your lips just like you do when you breathe through your mouth but without actually doing it.
Remember to close your eyes, relax and enjoy as your lips and theirs meet. Try to aim for one lip, usually the lower one, since it feels better than both lips pressing. At first, you can try to keep it simple instead of going all the way for a passionate kiss. However, there is a possibility they would like to go for that passionate kiss and even involve their tongue. If you feel pressured, just make sure to let them know.
After the kiss: Tips
Ok, so you did it now you can feel very proud of actually having the courage to do it. After kissing, you can pull away gently and look into their eyes. You could say something straight away or just smile, hug them or maybe play with their hair.
Now that you have kissed this special person and you have a sense of accomplishment because you were waiting for a while then before you part ways you could go for a simple kiss.
However, there is also a possibility the kiss didn’t go as planned and you feel a bit awkward about it. Don’t worry too much, there is no need to get it perfect the first time. Remember that sometimes nerves can get the best out of you and it can definitely take the best out of the other person. If you really like each other then there are plenty of reasons to try it again some other time.
Additional things to consider
- Don’t force yourself into the situation just because you feel pressured. There will be plenty of opportunities to kiss someone and hopefully you will feel ready to.
- Most first kisses are awkward but avoid adding more into it. Try to laugh and have a good sense of humor that can make the situation more enjoyable for everyone.
- Maybe the person you are kissing seems more experienced than you, but don’t feel embarrassed or nervous about it. Just think about how excited they are to kiss you without letting experience get in the way.
- Kissing should be fun but if you feel your kiss was not as you anticipated, don’t worry, you’ll get plenty of opportunities to get a better experience.
Why is this blog about How to not be nervous before kissing? Important?
As discussed on ‘How to not be nervous before kissing’, if you are about to kiss someone you like or you are thinking about the possibility of doing it in the future then just remember to have fun and enjoy the moment. The ultimate goal is not getting the perfect kiss but showing the person you are kissing that you really like them.
Moreover, if it is not a good experience for you or the person you kissed don’t be too hard on yourself, in time you will get better so if you both like each other that much, you will have more opportunities to get a better experience. Remember there is no perfect technique but be careful with body language, how close you get to the person, how fast and how intense the kiss is.
Please feel free to leave any comments or thoughts about the content of this article!
Side Note: I have tried and tested various products and services to help with my anxiety and depression. See my top recommendations here, as well as a full list of all products and services our team has tested for various mental health conditions and general wellness.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about How to not be nervous before kissing?
Why am I so afraid of kissing?
You could be so afraid of kissing because it is your first time and you are scared about how the other person will perceive the kiss (i.e. good, bad, disgusting). Also, it could happen that you are afraid about your personal hygiene, meaning having bad breath. If you have been ‘marked’ as a bad kisser before this could be scary because you are afraid the other person may feel the same so you’ll keep the ‘bad kisser’ label.
How do I overcome my fear of first kiss?
If you want to overcome the fear of your first kiss, the first thing to do is to take a deep breath. Also, flip the switch and instead of thinking what could go wrong try to have fun and enjoy it. Avoid eating garlic or spicy food before your first kiss and make sure you have brushed your teeth and have used some mouthwash to avoid bad breath. Try to close your eyes and concentrate on the sensation and the moment instead of everything around you, even that awkward moment when you see them getting extremely close, that could make you really scared.
How do you kiss a girl when you’re nervous?
If you want to kiss a girl when you are nervous try to take a deep breath first. Make sure you don’t have bad breath and visualise how good is going to be that kiss. If you are too nervous the image of getting closer to her face could be overwhelming so try to make eye contact for a second or two, close your eyes and let things take their natural course.
Do you lick your lips before a kiss?
If you need to lick your lips before a kiss it will make your lips dry. Try to use a chapstick or a lip balm before a kiss instead of licking your lips.
What is the average age for first kiss?
Some believe the average age for young people to experience a first kiss is fifteen but if you are fifteen and haven’t kissed anyone yet don’t rush into it. Take your time and wait until you feel ready for it.
What we recommend for Relationship & LGBTQ issues
- If you are having relationship issues or maybe you are in an abusive relationship then relationship counselling could be your first point of call. Relationship counselling could be undertaken by just you, it does not require more than one person.
If you are dealing with LGBTQ issues then LGBTQ counselling may be a great option for you. Maybe you are confused as to your role and identity or simply need someone to speak to. LGBTQ counsellors are specially trained to assist you in this regard.
Pairedlife.com: “How to Kiss Someone for the First Time”