How to not be nervous around him? (Tips)

In this guide, we will discuss a few tips on “How to not be nervous around him”. We will take a look more in-depth on some useful recommendations when you are hanging out with your crush or someone you are interested in. 

How to not be nervous around him?

If you are wondering ‘How to not be nervous around him?’ then it may mean you like this person whether you have started to see each other or just see him randomly when you casually bump to each other in the hallways, library, cafeteria, etc. but remember that being nervous from time to time doesn’t necessarily mean a bad thing. It is the physiological response triggered by fear. But why? You may ask. Well, there are several reasons why you could be afraid.

For example, we often fear saying something we consider stupid or humiliating. Also, we could think about how much we like someone but we don’t want them to find out due to a fear of being rejected and there may be even more reasons. However, try to remind yourself that this person may probably be nervous too since we never know what someone else is thinking unless we ask. We can assume but it can add even more to our anxiety.

Moreover, consider that your crush or special someone may find your nervousness endearing. Many people are indeed attracted to confident, outgoing individuals but others find someone shy or nervous very attractive. 

What happens if they notice I am nervous?

Letting someone know we feel nervous around them can make us feel embarrassed but admitting you are nervous is perfectly fine especially because it allows them to be nervous as well. For instance, you could include a reason why you are feeling nervous around them like how handsome they look or that you like them. This lets you crush knowing you are feeling nervous for a positive reason and not because you dislike them or don’t like to be around them.

It can feel like an awkward situation but you can make this situation become a funny or positive one by making a comment or joke about it. This will let your crush know you have the ability to laugh at yourself. Think about how this can happen to anyone, even to those that seem so calm and collected.

Treat them like a normal person

When we perceive someone as unreachable or out of our league we tend to put them on a pedestal and we tend to change our behaviour when we are around them. However, treat them just like you will treat any other person. Take a mental step back and remind yourself they are just normal people.

This doesn’t mean you have to pretend they are important to you. On the contrary, being kind, generous and polite to them but when we treat them as higher beings just add more pressure to the situation because we will think twice about what we will do or say next. This means that acting natural is the best way to go so don’t pretend to be someone you are not or agreeing to everything they say because sooner or later they will notice it.

Can I be friends with my crush?

Ideally, it is a great way to start feeling more comfortable with each other. Take your time to get to know them as they get to know you while focusing on building a friendship. This will eventually make you feel more comfortable around them and will reduce your anxiety. 

As recommended by Jessica Engle from Wikihow, “You could even try behaving around your special someone the way that you do around your friends. Treating him/her like a friend, and thinking of your crush as a friend, might help you to feel more comfortable.” 

What if they don’t like me?

There is always a fear of rejection and it is always a possibility but unless they have clearly stated they don’t really like you the same way you do then there is nothing to be afraid of. However, if they do let you know it doesn’t mean that you are a failure or you are not good enough. Be yourself around your crush and they will appreciate it. 

Finally, never apologize or be embarrassed by who you are so you become more ‘likeable’. If they don’t understand or appreciate your personality, your sense of humour, hobbies or interests then you may need to reconsider if you’d like to pursue something romantic with this person.

How to not be nervous around him? (Tips)

Being confident is key

It is usually easier saying it than doing it but it is a matter of attitude and how comfortable you feel with yourself. There is a majority of girls that struggle in this area but guys also have insecurities and it is completely normal. Think about how there is no need to look perfect all the time so they like you more or having to wear very uncomfortable clothes just to hang with them. 

Dressing comfortably and appropriately will help boost your confidence. Moreover, having good hygiene habits will also add to the mix because who would like to be around someone that rarely takes a shower or brushes their teeth? Take care of your hygiene at all times, not only if you are going to go out with your crush. 

Finally, accept yourself the way you are and believe it or not, the ability to be comfortable in your skin can be very appealing and attractive to many people. Everyone has flaws and things they wish they would change but accepting them will help you feel more relaxed around everyone, not only your crush. 

Don’t be afraid to start a conversation

We can feel very nervous and inhibit ourselves from starting a conversation because we may not know how or where to start. Try asking your crush open-ended questions so they are compelled to give detailed answers instead of just answering yes or no questions. 

If it helps, try learning more about them, what they do in their free time, favourite genre of music, favourite places to hang out, if they like animals or if they have a pet. However, if you feel more comfortable later on, you could also ask about the places they have travelled or the craziest thing they have ever done. 

When you keep them going and answering your questions, it takes the pressure off you. This doesn’t mean you need to have a list or bombard them with endless questioning. Just start the conversation by planning some of the questions and then let it flow.

How to not be nervous around him? (Tips)

Why is this blog about How to not be nervous around him important?

As we have discussed in this blog about ‘How to not be nervous around him’, the best way to tackle our anxiety when we are hanging out with a special someone is to recognize it is completely normal to feel nervous at first. Also, remember to be yourself and avoid pretending to be someone you are not just for them to ‘like’ you. As long as you are genuinely interested and display your personality, interest and hobbies then you will eventually start feeling more comfortable.

Finally, there is no need to rehearse or think too much about what you will say to them when you are together. Just take your time to get to know them while building a friendship, to know what they like, their hobbies, etc. However, don’t be discouraged if, in the end, they don’t feel the same way you do, it happens all the time and don’t ever think you are the one to blame or there is something wrong with you. Everyone deserves to be respected and loved just the way they are and if you have to become someone you are not just to like them then reconsider if pursuing a romantic relationship with them is the best option. 

Please feel free to leave any comments or thoughts about the content of this article!

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about How to not be nervous around him

How do I stop being nervous around guys?

You won’t probably stop being entirely nervous around guys but there are ways to cope and manage with being nervous. Here are some recommendations:

How do I stop being nervous around people?

Being nervous around people can be considered as normal if it is from time to time and not every time you are with people. Here are some useful tips:

– Stop fighting the feeling of anxiety or nervousness and acknowledge it is completely normal.

– Take deep breaths, sit down somewhere quiet and let it happen.
There is no rush so there is no need to put a time limit on what you are feeling.

Why do you get nervous around someone you love?

Getting nervous around someone you love may mean you care a lot for this person. Moreover, your brain releases dopamine, which is a neurotransmitter, when you have detected something in your environment that you desire. You instantly start paying more attention and focusing on the person in front of you. Your norepinephrine levels can also increase in which case would explain why you get so nervous and a bit cautious.

How do you train yourself to not be nervous?

There are a few tips and tricks on how to overcome your nervousness:

– Pay attention to the thoughts and write them down. 

– Once you have the thoughts identified, challenge them and contrast with reality.

– Choose courage instead of confidence.

– Take some deep breaths.

– Know your strengths.

– Flip the switch by recognizing being nervous as a sign of something good instead of giving a negative connotation. 

How can I be confident and not shy?

If you want to be confident and not shy it is a matter of attitude. Think about it as having a confidence suit or jacket. Also, your body language will help you show how confident you are. Your tone of voice can also influence so consciously change your tone of voice. Finally, stop self-sabotaging and telling yourself there is nothing you can do to change or how things are never going to change. 

References 

Engle, J. (2020. Aug.) How to Be Comfortable Around That Special Someone. Retrieved from wikihow.com.

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Daniela Paez is a Clinical Psychologist with an MSc. In Clinical Neuropsychology from Bangor University. She has vast experience in working with children with disabilities, adolescents and their families, in extreme conditions of poverty and vulnerability. Additionally, she owns a private practice where she provides neuropsychological evaluation for children and adults, and treatment for mood disorders, anxiety, couple therapy, among other conditions.