How to help a friend through a breakup?
This article will focus on showing you the best ways you can help your friend through a breakup. Aside from that, the article will show you things you should never do when your friend has gone through a breakup.
How to help a friend through a breakup?
If you want to help a friend through a breakup, here is what you can do.
Ask them what you can do
If your friend is going through a breakup, one of the most important things you can do for them is ask them how you can help. In doing so, you recognize that you understand that everyone deals with a breakup differently and that you are open, and willing to help them in whatever way they need it.
Sometimes what they tell you may seem strange or miles away from what you would consider important when going through a breakup, but caring for their particular needs is a sign that you are a true friend.
Build a safe space for them to express their feelings
Dealing with a breakup is never easy, and your friend may be going through a roller-coaster of emotions. Letting them know that you are open to listening to anything they may want to say will build a safe space for them to manifest their range of emotions.
If they can manifest their anger, their anger, or even their regrets with you, it is a sign that they feel comfortable with you, and are using this space to manifest their grief brought on by the breakup.
Help them with their daily chores
When you end a relationship, you may lose, even if for a short period, your ability to care for yourself, and the things around you. It can be that going through a breakup your friend forgets to take the trash, pay for their bills, or even go grocery shopping.
Doing those chores for them shows that, at this moment, they shouldn’t worry about anything else. It also lets them know that they can focus on slowly healing.
Help them rediscover themselves
When a relationship ends, the people that were a part of it may lose their sense of self. So much of their identity was based on the relationship and the things they used to share with their partners, that once the relationship is over, they don’t know who they are anymore.
A great way to help your friend through a breakup is to help them rediscover themselves, their interests, and passions. Help them in trying new hobbies, get a new look, or even try to experiment with new food.
If they need it, help them find professional support
Dealing with a breakup can be a traumatic experience. If you feel that your friend is taking the breakup too hard, it may be time to talk to them about looking for professional help.
It may be necessary if they are dealing with the breakup of an abusive relationship, or even if they have a pattern of being too harsh on themselves doing a breakup.
In therapy, they may talk about their angst, and discover new ways to deal with it. In those cases, you may want to help your friend look for a trustworthy professional, and even accompany them to the appointments.
Don’t forget to take care of yourself
If you are helping your friend that is going through a breakup, don’t forget to take care of yourself. To do that, make sure you still have time to focus on your needs, and that you allow yourself to say no to your friend when it is necessary.
Saying no doesn’t mean you don’t care about them anymore, but just that you understand that to be close, and care for them, you also need to be healthy. So if you ever need some time apart, you may want to call in reinforcements m and let other friends of yours help.
What you should never do when your friend has gone through a breakup?
You should never do this if you want to help a friend through a breakup.
Never assume you should do a certain thing
If you are helping your friend through a breakup, you should never assume you know how they are feeling, and take action without asking them. By doing so, you are telling them that they are only allowed to suffer in your way and that you are the only one that knows how to fix it, which can often invalidate how they feel.
Don’t belittle their emotions
Telling your friend they should feel one way or another about the breakup, or even about their ex is a way of you belittling their emotions. It can make them feel like there is a right way to deal with a breakup, and that the way they are doing it is wrong. Making them feel even worse about it all.
Don’t throw them into drugs and alcohol
When people go through a breakup, they may use alcohol or drugs to numb their pain, and to get some relief from all the thoughts in their heads. Being a supportive friend implies that you may follow your friend through this process.
What you should be aware of is to not overdo it. Too much alcohol and drugs can be harmful in many ways, but it can even be detrimental to their mental health, making them more anxious, or even depressed. So to support your friend through a breakup, learn how to balance the party.
Don’t rush them
If your friend is dealing with a breakup, one thing you should never do is rush them to be over it. Not only it is extremely disrespectful and belittles their feelings, but it can give them a sense of failure, that they are not dealing with the breakup as well as they should.
Don’t say bad things about their ex
When your friend has gone through a breakup, there may be times in which they say bad things about their ex, and this is okay. They are venting and letting all their anger out. But be careful to not be the person that starts to say bad things about their ex to a point it makes them defensive.
Remember that, no matter what happened, your friend loved this person, and invested a lot of time and energy in that relationship.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): How to help a friend through a breakup?
How should I tell my friend his girlfriend is cheating on him?
If you need to tell your friend that his girlfriend is cheating on them, the first thing you should do is to be sure that they are cheating. Make sure to also tell them in person, and before just spilling the news, ask them how their relationship has been going to know if there is any chance they suspect something is happening.
Once you are telling them, make sure to be direct, and offer them the support they need. Be sure to stand by their side, and show them that even though they are going through an extremely difficult situation, you are there to support them through this grief.
What should I keep in mind if I am considering hooking up with my friend’s ex?
If you are thinking about hooking up with your friend’s ex, it may be important to keep some things in mind. The first of them is that you should know that through that you may lose a friend. There is a chance that your friend won’t be able to tolerate this fact, and the friendship will be over.
Know that the reason why your friend ended that relationship is important in this situation. Ending on good terms doesn’t mean that this will be easy, but it may be easier than if the relationship ended because of cheating, or on bad terms.
Keep in mind to talk to your friend before making any move, and know that you may face the same problems they did when dating their ex.
How long does it take to get over someone?
It may be difficult to set a timetable on when to get over someone. Dealing with the heartache, and the grief that comes with ending a relationship is never easy. You may need to learn how to care for your life alone all over again.
But it is understood that it can take from six weeks to six months to let go of someone or a relationship for good. Dealing with a breakup means that you will stop investing your feelings, and energy in one person, and will need to find new ways, and places to invest it.
What are signs that a breakup is final?
When a breakup is final, some signs will show you that. First of all, it may not hurt as much as you thought it would. The fights, and coming and going may have been preparing you for this. There is a clear physical distance in it all, and, likely, your friends don’t like your ex.
Whenever there is someone else in the picture, it may be clear that it is over. It may also have become easier to not write them on an impulse, and you have learned how to deal with the urge of reaching out.
You may have become better at dealing with the negative emotions brought on by the breakup, and there are boundaries between the two of you.
How can I stop loving someone?
If you want to stop loving someone the first thing you should do is come to terms with the fact that the relationship is over. Understanding that will allow you to begin the process of healing.
Knowing what was good in that relationship, but also what caused it to be over will surely give you a better understanding of why the relationship is over and will help you move on. If it was a hurtful breakup, knowing that sometimes a relationship will not be easy to get over can help.
Looking for the future, and making sure that you form new, positive bonds will guarantee you to understand that life is moving on, and there are a lot of things to look forward to. In some cases, when dealing with a breakup it may be important to look for professional help to cope.
This article showed you the many ways you can help your friend that is going through a breakup. It also explained to you what you should never do in those situations.
If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write them in the section below.