How to detach from someone?

As a BetterHelp affiliate, we may receive compensation from BetterHelp if you purchase products or services through the links provided

This article will discuss what are the best ways to detach yourself from someone. Aside from that, the article will explain why sometimes it may be necessary to detach yourself from someone.

How to detach from someone? 

There are several ways to help you detach from someone, here they are.

Put yourself as the priority 

Needing to detach from someone often means that this was a codependent relationship. You may have just come to realize that you have been putting this other person as a priority in your life, some so that they were even more important than yourself.

And it may be that, even though you were giving them all that attention, and affection, they still didn’t value you enough, so it may be important to change this scale and put yourself as the priority. But even if they did recognize what you do for them, it shouldn’t be a common occurrence in your life that you are always putting others before you. 

So before this reaches a breaking point, it may be important for you to focus more on yourself. And this means detaching yourself from this person you have a codependent relationship.

Give yourself time and space 

As you have decided it is important for something to change in this relationship, you may require some space. If this is an abusive relationship, it can be that the person will keep trying to get you back, or even play the victim. In those cases try to keep in mind that there is nothing wrong with asking for some space.

Doing that doesn’t mean you love them less. Just means that you need to take a few steps back, and spend some time not talking to think things over. And you can take all the time you need with that.

Evaluate the relationship 

Detaching from someone implies that you have confronted how this relationship is making you feel, and you have come to the conclusion that even though it may hurt, it is better to put some space between the two of you.

As you process that information, you must have in the back of your mind all the reasons why you are doing this. Ask yourself some difficult questions like: why do I stay in this relationship? Am I enjoying the attention? What makes it difficult to move on?

Having those answers in mind may help you motivate yourself to not run back to them.

Cut them off

Once you decide to detach from this person, you should cut them off completely. If you keep in touch with them, chances are that you will fall into that codependent pattern in no time. You can still have their number, but you shouldn’t call them whenever you miss them.

And when it gets difficult, ask yourself what you will get from this contact. This may help you think more objectively about why you still want them in your life, and help you question yourself about why you would put yourself through this again.

Distance yourself from the friends you have in common 

Although it may not be possible or desirable to completely cut off mutual friends, right as you start to detach yourself it may be extremely important to do so.

Having mutual friends means that, at some point, you will hear some news about the person you want to detach from. And this is not a good thing. Knowing how they are doing, be it that they are doing better, or that they are doing worse will only make you feel bad, and harm your mental health.

You should only go back to meeting with those mutual friends if you feel that, as you talk to them, you don’t need to keep looking for information about the person you are detaching from.

Allow yourself to grieve 

Whenever we take someone out of our lives we will surely experience grief. That just means that we are dealing with the sadness and other feelings that come from the end of a relationship. So if that is happening to you after you detached from them, let those feelings out.

Grief won’t go on forever, but you must let it all out so you can then begin to rebuild your world without that person.

Don’t look back 

You probably just got out of a bad relationship and managed to find the strength to detach from it. As you do it, sometimes happy memories about this relationship may come to your mind. We will often romanticize relationships when they are over, and that can sometimes make us want to go back.

As you experience that, avoid looking at pictures or conversations the two of you had in the past. Don’t look back, and keep in mind that there was a reason why you decided it was time to detach yourself from them.

Let go of the fantasy 

When you are deciding to detach from someone sometimes you may give in to the idea that you will get some distance now, but later on, the two of you can go back to being friends. It is important that you also let go of that fantasy.

You probably invested a lot of time and energy in that relationship to ultimately decide it wasn’t right for you. So why go back to it after the wound has healed? Chances are that even if the two of you agree to stay friends, at some point you may fall right back into that same pattern, and you will put yourself through all that hurting again.

Put it out

Talking about how you feel can help you not only get some sense of relief from it all but also allows you to get a different perspective on the matter. You may talk to friends, or family members, or if you think it is necessary, you can look for professional help.

What is important is that you don’t keep your feelings all bottled up inside, turn them into words, and through that get some relief, and comfort.

Why sometimes it is important to detach from someone?

Detaching someone is never easy. But sometimes it may be important to do it. For example, when you are in an abusive relationship, be it a romantic relationship, or even a family relationship, it may be important to detach yourself from it so you are not consumed by the patterns of relationship that can harm you emotionally, and sometimes even physically.

It is important to keep in mind that detaching yourself doesn’t mean that you are abandoning the person, or simply that you don’t care for them at all. Most of the time it just means that you need to create some distance between the two of you to evaluate the relationship, and how it has been affecting you. 

It can be that you are overly responsible for the other person, or they are too controlling of you. Either way, if you understand that this relationship is affecting you to the point that you are more irritable, have more headaches, lose sleep, or are constantly worried, or anxious, it may be a sign it is time to let go.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): How to detach from someone? 

What are the signs of obsessive love disorder?

Obsessive love disorder can often cause you to have low self-esteem. It can also make the experience an intense attraction for the person and have obsessive thoughts about them. It can also make you feel like you need to protect them.

You can have possessive thoughts, and actions towards them. It also makes you extremely jealous of them. You can also begin to text, or call them often, and be in constant need of your partner to reassure you.

Having this disorder means that you may have trouble maintaining other relationships, and constantly keeping track of what the person is doing. 

What are some signs he likes me?

If he likes you, he can often act shy, and make a lot of jokes when he is around you. They can talk to you about other girls because they may want to try and make you jealous. He may also make a point of bumping into you as often as he can.

If he likes you, he will try to get close to at least one of your friends and will make fun of your best friends. He may not say that he likes you, but he will always make a point of looking great whenever you are with them.

When does loving someone become a problem?

Loving someone can become a problem if you love someone to the point that you lose touch with yourself. It is a love that makes you blind and makes you act differently than you often would. Loving someone too much can be harmful to you, to your partner, and also to your relationship.

If you ever feel that you are experiencing that type of love, it may be time to loom for professional help to help you manage it, and deal with love more healthily.

What causes people to develop obsessive love disorder?

Obsessive love disorder can be a consequence of other mental health conditions such as schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, or bipolar disorder. It can also be related to the abuse of alcohol, or drugs. Erotomania, a condition that can make people delusional can also lead to the disorder.

It can also happen because of the style of attachment that the person has, especially when they have an insecure, or reactive attachment style. Traumatic situations or fear of being abandoned can also lead to it.

What are signs someone loves me?

When someone is in life with you, likely, they will often stare at you, and act nervous whenever they are around you. They may also make the effort to be close to you as much as they can, and will ask you deeply personal questions.

They are also looking for ways to help you, and smile whenever they see you. They can also begin to mirror your body language, can often tease you, and remember all the little details you tell them.

Aside from that, they will make sure that the conversation keeps going, and notice every little thing that you change about yourself. They can often let you know they are jealous and will tell their friends about you.

Conclusion

This article highlighted the best ways for you to detach yourself from someone else. Aside from that, the article explained why sometimes it may be important to detach yourself from people.

If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write them in the section below.

References

https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-what-why-when-and-how-of-detaching-from-loved-ones#what-is-detachment

What was missing from this post which could have made it better?

[Sassy_Social_Share type="standard"]