From the article below, you will know the way to deal with toxic people.
How do you know someone is toxic?
These are some signs listed below which will help you identify if someone is toxic:
Talks bad behind your back
If someone you meet criticizes or complains about a third party who isn’t present, that may be a sign that you’re dealing with a toxic person–and when you’re not around they’ll say bad stuff about you.
In life you will meet hundreds of people. Some will be good to you, some mean. Toxic people are those who will be good to you but talk rubbish about you behind your back. You may not realize how much of hatred he or she has against you until you listen to those from you friends and colleagues.
How do you know when someone is toxic? Obviously they won’t behave toxic in front of you or when interacting with you. The trait of talking behind the back is a constant which is a good detector. You may find in various instances where they talk about your friends or colleagues’ behaviours; make fun of them; criticize for their mistakes and so on.
Toxic personalities usually complain a lot and see the negative in every situation. If you are friends with someone who spreads such a negative vibe of complaining, it may be bad for your mood, your productivity and even your health. So if someone starts off your acquaintance with a lot of complaining, think hard about whether you want that person and their many dissatisfactions in your life.
They ask for special treatment.
Toxic personalities are those who ask for special treatment and want special attention. Special attention in forms of favours such as expecting you would pay his/her part of the share. If someone asks you for a special favor when you’ve only just met, just imagine what they’ll ask for once they get to know you better.
These people have an interesting trait of boasting out their achievements and possessions. They may also insult other people whose achievements are lesser than theirs.
They put you on the defensive.
Charging and questioning upon your life choices and decisions in the form of intrusion to your privacy is a habit of toxic people. They may put you to be defensive which further exhausts your energy. Someone who makes you feel like you have to constantly defend yourself, your company, or your beliefs is going to be unproductive to spend time with.
No concerns for you
They will want you to be with them when they are upset and moody. They won’t even care about your existence after they behaved rude with you. They would never apologize for their mistakes nor show empathy. For example, you’ve just had a 10-minute conversation with a new acquaintance and you already know where they grew up, that they got divorced six months ago, and that they just landed a promotion. Meantime, they don’t even know where you work or what you do for a living.
How to deal with toxic people?
Listed are some ways to handle toxic associations:
Toxic personalities have a tendency to show themselves as the victim in every situation. If they mess up, they may shift to blame others to prove their point and safeguard their own interests.
In these cases, try to respectfully disagree with them rather than getting angry or excited. Don’t be aggressive, but you should be assertive.
While your disagreement might upset them, it might also lower the chances they’ll try involving you again.
Voluntarily ignore their complaining habit
Usually these people will complain about other people’s activities, make fun about them or insult them when they are not around. Resist the urge to jump on the complaining train with them or defend yourself against accusations. Instead, respond with a simple, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” and leave it at that.
Or when you are with them and they start gossiping about someone, just give an excuse of work and leave the discussion.
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Talk to them about their behavior
Communication can solve a lot of problems with people. Even if the person is emotionally exhaustive, you should also understand that they have their struggles too. Maybe they have a difficult family situation; maybe they are lonely; maybe they need validation because of their extreme insecurities. Being human beings, we all have our own set of triggers which make us behave in a certain way.
The best way to convey that, is to talk to them. Tell them how their behavior becomes unacceptable at times. Ask if they know why they behave like this. Do they gain pleasure out of hurting people around them? This will help them introspect and have a realization of what people think about them and how negative their association is at times.
Put yourself first
On the flip side, behavior doesn’t have to be abuse or spiteful to be toxic. Other behaviors can be just as damaging.
Maybe the person in question “desperately needs” your help to get them out of a bind — every time you see them. Or Barrie Sueskind, a therapist in Los Angeles who specializes in relationships says, “you’re always giving and they’re always taking, or you feel like their emotional stability depends on you.”
You might value your relationship with this person, but don’t offer support at the risk of your own well-being.
“Healthy relationships involve give and take,” Sueskind explains. In other words, you offer support, but you receive support, too.
Learn to say no
Usually toxic people are manipulative and it becomes very difficult to refuse their requests. They become aggressive if you don’t want to act the way they want you to. In these cases, you should say a “no”. There are many techniques to show you are uninterested. You can simply make excuses or you can tell them the truth. Making excuses will not be difficult, but saying the truth to a toxic person about your disagreement with them may make them more manipulative. This is where you have to understand why saying a no is important. Walking away from toxicity and negativity is your choice and nobody has got the right to mentally exhaust you in order to confirm your ideas with them. Politely tell them, “ I am not comfortable discussing these hence please excuse me” and leave the place.
Don’t make yourself available all the time
People who act in a toxic way “can often sense who they can manipulate,” Sueskind says. “They may move on when they see their tactics don’t work on you.”
If you’re never available, they might eventually stop trying to engage. This strategy can be particularly helpful at work, where you’re bound to have plenty of honest excuses, like:
- “Sorry, I have too much work to chat.”
- “Got to prepare for that meeting, so I can’t talk!”
Encourage them to get help
Remember people behave in a certain way because their experiences make them unique. Apparently we may presume a person as completely fine but maybe they are struggling with some personal challenges too. This doesn’t excuse problematic behavior, but it can help explain it.
If one of your close friends shows toxic behavioral signs talk to them and tell them to get help. Rather than judginging them or pushing them away, try and help them. Understand why they behave that way; ask if they want to share anything that has distrubed them when they were a child; is there any problem they face with parents or family. If you think he or she is interested and encouraged to seek help, tell them how psychotherapy may help. “Psychotherapy can help people identify problematic behaviors and learn to manage their emotions and reactions in healthier ways,” Sueskind says. “Therapists are trained to help people work through difficult situations like these and can offer compassionate, judgment-free support that fits your circumstances.”
Stay grounded :
Next time you feel anxious in an interaction, try grounding yourself with these tips:
- Breathe slowly and deeply.
- Try relaxing your muscles instead of tensing them.
- Let the words wash over you and silently repeat a calming mantra.
- Distract yourself if the situation allows. Doodle, fidget with an object, or close your eyes and visualize your favorite place.
From the article above, we got to know how to deal with toxic people.
What we recommend for Relationship issues
If you are suffering from relationship issues then ongoing professional relationship counselling could be what you need. Relationship Counselling can be done individually or with one or more partners.
Relationship counselling helps you regain the amazing elements of your relationship and provides you with the techniques needed to avoid conflicts, misunderstandings and the most common issues most relationships struggle with.
FAQs: How to deal with toxic people?
What are the signs of a toxic person?
You’re left feeling emotionally exhausted after an encounter with them.
They try to intimidate you to get their way.
They try to control you by guilt tripping.
They are easily jealous.
They constantly see themselves as a victim.
They give backhanded compliment
How do you beat a toxic person?
set clear boundaries.
let them expose themselves.
do not trust them.
tell them when it is their fault.
stop trying to please them.
do not get involved in their drama.
rise above them.
What is a toxic person?
A toxic person is anyone whose behavior adds negativity and upset to your life.
How can I change my toxic behavior?
Establish Mental Goals.
Accept the Past.
Own Your Actions.
How can you tell if someone is manipulative?
Here, experts explain the telltale signs that you could be the subject of manipulation.
You feel fear, obligation and guilt.
You’re questioning yourself.
There are strings attached.
You notice the ‘foot-in-the-door’ and ‘door-in-the-face’ techniques.
What to do if you think you’re being manipulated.
How do you tell if someone is trying to destroy you?
They are generally negative and toxic people and have nothing good to say about anyone or anything.
They always play the victim card to get your sympathy.
They will try to put down your dreams and ambitions.
They talk about you behind your back.
When should you remove someone from your life?
They’re fun people at parties, but you can’t remember a time you enjoyed their company elsewhere.
They’re not people that challenge you in any way.
You’re always helping them, yet they’re always dragging you down.
They don’t value your time.
They spend a lot of time spreading negativity.
How do you apologize to someone who is toxic?
Explain what went wrong.
How do you tell if a girl is manipulating you?
Your Woman Is a Smooth Talker.
She Plays With Your Emotions.
She Is a Critic.
She Pretends Ignorance.
She Is Manipulative if She Plays the Blame Game.
She Uses Emotional Outbursts.
They Deny Things They Voiced Earlier.