How to deal with people that criticize others constantly?

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This article will explain the best ways to deal with people that criticize others constantly. Aside from that, the article will discuss why they may do that.

How to deal with people that criticize others constantly? 

If you feel you have in life people that are constantly criticizing you, here is what you can do.

Think of where the criticism is coming from 

If you are dealing with people that are constantly criticizing you, it may be important to think about who these people are, and how much they know about you. 

For example, if you have a colleague from work that is constantly criticizing you about how you deal with your free time, you may ask yourself how much they know you to criticize those things.

This means that you should try to consider how much credibility there is in that criticism the person is making before assuming it is all true, and that you should guide yourself by what was said. 

Assessing where the criticism is coming from also implies that you should try to identify if the person has ulterior motives to be saying those types of things.

Try to distance yourself from the criticism 

Distancing yourself from the criticism means that you will not take it all so personally. It means not only taking into consideration where the criticism is coming from, but also knowing that sometimes people that are constantly criticizing others may do so because they are projecting their insecurities, and sense of self on you.

A good example of that is having a friend that is constantly criticizing your boyfriend, but that is constantly saying that she wants a boyfriend. This may be that her desire for a partner causes her to be constantly criticizing yours.

Take a minute to breathe 

As you hear a criticism, even more so when it comes from someone that is constantly criticizing others, you may feel enraged, and just feel the urge to scream at that person. You may feel hurt, and in that feel the need to act defensive towards them, which can make things worse, turning the criticism into a full-blown argument.

But before you act on an impulse, you may want to take a minute or two to breathe. This will help you center yourself, regain perspective on what is happening, and allow you to react to it differently.

Watch out for how you react 

There is a big chance that someone that is constantly criticizing others will often do so to watch how people would react to it. It may be strange, or even sad, but some people will feed on the stress m, and anguish they cause to other people.

So if you ever realize that the person around you is criticizing you, or others in hope of watching how you react, you may want to change the way you do it. 

Answering them in a blunt way that doesn’t show too much of how you feel, for example: “Ok, I’ll take what you are saying into consideration”, can make them lose control of what is happening, and with time, they may realize that you are not as affected by their criticism as you once were.

Look at the critics through empathetic eyes

If someone close to you is constantly criticizing others, it can be a difficult person to be around. But before you just cut them out of your life completely, you may want to look at them with a more empathetic eye. 

It may be that this person is now overly critical, and is harming others because they have experienced hurt in their life before. If you can understand why they behave as they do, it can give you a chance to look at them with more compassion, which allows you to not be as affected as you would be by what they say.

Why are there people that criticize others constantly? 

Criticizing others means that you are a person that is often making rude, or negative remarks about how others behave, and even though all of us will experience criticism in our lifetime, it is important to know the difference between someone that is offering you a positive criticism from someone that is only trying to make you doubt yourself.

Positive criticism will allow you to believe you can do things better, it values your abilities and leads you to growth. But the negative sort of criticism can be extremely detrimental to you. It can impact your self-esteem, or even lead you to develop mental health conditions such as anxiety, or even depression. 

When people are overly critical, they may do so because of how they see themselves. And this behavior can sometimes happen without them even realizing they are doing it. 

Overly critical people tend to be more anxious, and to manage their anxiety, they can begin to criticize others. A person may also become too critical of others if they were raised by a mother that is overly critical of them.

It can also happen to someone that has low self-esteem, is constantly insecure about themselves, or has a sense of superiority. So to deal with the perception they have of themselves, they will begin to project and criticize others.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): How to deal with people that criticize others constantly?

Can criticism lead to depression?

Yes, people that experience a lot of criticism can become depressed more easily. But it is important to keep in mind that this is not a fact for everyone that is often criticized. It is known that some traits lead people to have a higher chance of getting depressed in that situation.

People that are more sensitive to criticism will usually be more susceptible to getting depressed. They are also people that will have a higher level of neuroticism and have a more negative view of matters.

How can I give criticism to someone sensitive to it?

If you need to give some criticism to someone sensitive to it, you should first get to them with a smile, and be careful of the tone of the conversation you will use. Don’t ever talk to them as if you were their parent.

When talking to them, always use their first to show that the two of you are on the same team. And keep in mind that it doesn’t matter how many times you say it, criticism is always personal, so don’t expect the other person to be too happy about it.

Aside from that, you should prevent criticizing a person that is sensitive to it in public, and maintain your goal of giving one piece of criticism at a time. But as you do it, be sure to do it as detailed as you can, and sometimes it may even be important to show them how to act on the matter.

What causes people to develop contempt?

People can develop contempt whenever they feel they are better than another person, or even better than a group of people. You can develop contempt whenever you feel that the person’s moral is different from yours.

What does being vindictive mean?

Being vindictive means that you are a person that will often hold a grudge when other people have done you wrong, and it is likely to seek revenge on them. 

A vindictive person will often be consumed by what people have done to them, and may only be able to let go of the matter when they feel they have brought the same pain to the other person.

A person will often be vindictive because they are jealous, or are extremely insecure about something, or someone. They will usually have low self-esteem, and that is what will drive their insecurities. 

The negative thoughts that often are in their mind will take them to a point where if they see someone is doing something great in their life, it can cause them to feel frustrated, and have the urge to harm the person, which is when they will act in a vindictive manner.

What does it mean to behave spitefully?

Behaving spitefully means you are treating others with contempt, or even in a malicious way. Research has shown that it is often related to aggressiveness, narcissism, and guilt-free shame. It also seems that people that often behave spitefully have lower self-esteem, and are less susceptible to experiencing guilt.

Behaving spitefully can happen for various reasons. The person may do it because they are desperate to inflict something on the other person, or they are acting this way in a well-thought-out manner, so they are being strategic, or even behaving without ever giving it a second thought, which means that they are spiteful for the lack of thought.

You may pick up on some signs that will let you know that someone is a spiteful person. They may talk to you, or act in ways that they intend to hurt the other person. 

And even when hurting is not the main goal, they can still look for ways to bother or make the other person angry. It is important to know that the person can be spiteful with their words, and even with their actions.

How can I live with a spiteful person?

The first thing you should do when living with a spiteful person is recognize they behave like that, and understand how often they try to manipulate you, and how they behave in that sense, if it is playing the role of the victim, or being aggressive, for example.

So whenever they act spiteful towards you, focus on staying calm, and not reacting aggressively, as they would want you to. If it is possible, let them know how their behavior is hurting you, and what other common effects of them acting spiteful towards you. When you do that, focus on using “I” statements, and say how you feel.

Work towards building your boundaries, and not letting them cross them, and if you realize they are not respecting your boundaries, you may want to ask yourself if this is a relationship that is worth going on with. 

If you decide to keep this person in your life, make sure that you care for yourself, and do not succumb to what they are trying to make of you.

Conclusion 

This article showed what to do when dealing with people that criticize you constantly.  Aside from that, the article also explained why they can act that way.

If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write them in the section below.

References

https://medium.com/change-becomes-you/why-people-are-overly-critical-and-how-to-deal-with-them-a405eec988a4
https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-critical-people#recap

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