How to deal with ghosting someone you love? (+7 Effects of ghosting)
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This detailed post will be discussing how to deal with ghosting someone you love. We will also be explaining when ghosting someone can be perfectly okay and the different effects that it can have on you.
How to deal with ghosting someone you love?
To deal with ghosting someone you love, you can use the following tips,
- Send one last text
- Stop all types of communication
- Be ready for some negativity
- Make excuses continuously
- Keep them waiting for responses
- Block their contact
- Unfollow them on social media
Send one last text
If you are ghosting someone you love for whatever reason, you can end the communication by simply sending one last text or having one last phone call where you can explain that you had a great experience but are not ready for something deeper.
Stop all types of communication immediately
Once you have sent your last text or message to the person, it is very important that you put an end to all types of communication with them. This can be difficult since it is someone you love and care for, but is necessary if you are trying to ghost them.
Be ready for some negativity
Ghosting can never be easy, especially on the person who is being ghosted. So you need to be ready for some negativity and backlash from the other side. They may even express rage and anger and try to hurt you back because you are ghosting them.
Make excuses continuously
If you are ghosting someone you love but don’t want to cut off contact immediately, you can try making excuses continuously in order to not meet them. When you make excuses to not meet them for a long time, the person might get the hint that you don’t want to be with them.
Keep them waiting for responses
If they keep messaging you on a regular basis and expect you to respond immediately, you can even try responding late. When you keep them waiting for responses, this can also make them feel that you don’t like them anymore and are better left alone.
Block their contact
If you have ghosted someone you love, you can even block their contact details on your phone so that they don’t call you all of a sudden. You can also block them on various social media platforms.
Unfollow them on social media
When you are ghosting someone you love, you can also try unfollowing them on social media platforms. When you unfollow them on social media, this not only enforces the idea of ghosting but also keeps you away from receiving new updates about the person.
When is ghosting someone you love okay?
Ghosting someone you love can seem like a rude and crude practice. But in many cases, ghosting someone, even if it is a person you love, is perfectly okay and needs to be enforced as soon as possible. The various instances when ghosting someone you love is okay are:
- When the person has started acting toxic towards you: Sometimes even someone who is in love with you can act toxic and dangerous towards you. If someone is continuously showing toxic traits to you and is not stopping ghosting is alright.
Toxic behavior can be manifested through a number of ways, including passive aggressiveness or even misogyny. Repeated toxic behaviors and actions like this make an act like ghosting necessary.
- When the person is sending you indecent pictures and messages: In case the person that you love is sending you a number of indecent pictures and even messages without your consent, this is another major red flag which calls for immediate ghosting.
This is especially needed if the messages come from a stranger. Many strangers tend to send unsolicited pictures of their genitals and even obscene messages to attractive and seemingly available women online which calls for immediate ghosting.
- When they keep crossing boundaries: Every healthy relationship requires you to set some boundaries between you and your partner. However, if one person or the other is continuously crossing these boundaries, this can also call for immediate ghosting.
Crossing boundaries can also mean that the person you are in a relationship with refuses to give you any personal space. Personal space is necessary for self-growth and development and when there is no personal space, ghosting can be enforced.
- When they are not seeking your consent: Consent, particularly mutual consent, is necessary in each and every activity of a relationship, particularly intimate activities like sex. If the person you are with does not seek your consent, ghosting is perfectly okay.
The consent not only refers to the consent for intimate activities, but even other activities like meeting for dates and talking on the phone. If the person is not respecting your opinions on consent, they deserve to be ghosted.
- When you have already broken up with them: Sometimes people just don’t accept the fact that you have indeed broken up with them and may continuously pester you and disturb you, trying to make you speak to them.
In case you have broken up with someone and they are still disturbing you, you can try ghosting them. Ghosting not only means that you need to cut off contact with them on social media, but altogether.
Effects of ghosting on you
Many people speak out about the effects of ghosting on the other victim but the truth is that ghosting can affect both the person who is attempting the ghosting as well as the one who has been ghosted. The different effects that ghosting can have on you when you are ghosting are:
Feelings of guilt
The biggest effect on you that ghosting can have is the feelings of guilt. This is particularly true when the person whom you have ghosted is someone who you truly love or liked in the past. However, you need to remember the original reason for you ghosting the other person.
Fear of backlash
When you ghost someone, there might be backlash or some negativity. In many cases, people have been physically hurt by the person they have ghosted. This fear can also make you avoid social places and public platforms.
Emotional immaturity
If you often use ghosting as a means to get out of a relationship, this can lead you to be emotionally immature and fragile in the future as well. Emotional maturity can make other opportunities difficult and challenging for you.
Lack of empathy
If you have developed a pattern of ghosting people whom you get close to, it can also lead to lose your natural empathy. Often those who continuously ghost people are seen to lack empathy and thereby cause others a lot of hurt.
Feelings of narcissism and superiority
Another set of personality traits that you might develop as a result of frequently ghosting someone is feelings of narcissism and superiority. Narcissism means that you become too obsessed with yourself to care about the feelings of others.
Problems in future relationships
The personality traits that you develop through frequent ghosting along with the lack of empathy can also cause you problems in your future relationships. This can make life hard for you, not only romance-wise but even in other social relationships.
Immaturity in communication
Ghosting often comes by because the person does not know how to communicate in a mature manner. If you are resorting to ghosting instead of openly facing the problem, this means that you may be lacking in communication skills.
Conclusion
This detailed post has discussed how to deal with ghosting someone you love. We have also explained when ghosting someone can be perfectly okay and the different effects that it can have on you.
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Citations
http://mon.uwpress.org/content/113/2/245.short
