In this article, we will provide you with different tips and techniques you can employ when you want to deal with festering anger inside of you in a healthy way.
Anger is an emotion that is seen in a negative light, something that is uncontrollable and causes a lot of problems. Anger stems from the frustration one experiences when one is unable to reach their goals. The object, situation or person who is blocking their way to their goal becomes the object of anger. Many times we can release this anger but sometimes we have to hold it back and it starts to fester inside us.
It is not healthy to let festering anger drive or motivate our actions and behaviors. We should find the means to express our anger in a healthy way that helps us reach our goal rather than create more problems for us. Festering anger leads to health problems also, like high blood pressure, coronary heart disease, stroke, etc.
How to deal with Festering Anger
Here are a few tips and techniques on how to deal with festering anger positively and healthily:
- Look out for warning signs for festering anger in you
- Pause before you speak
- Express your points when you are calm
- Exercise or engage in physical activity
- Go out for a walk
- Take a timeout
- Look for alternative solutions
- Don’t start the blame game
- Forgive the other person
- Practice relaxation techniques
- It is okay to cry
- Sleep over the anger
- Write down your feelings
- Channel the anger into something productive
- Watch something relaxing
- Talk to a friend
- Seek professional help if anger seems to be out of control
Look out for warning signs for festering anger in you
The first step in dealing with festering anger is to understand and realize that you are getting angry. You need to notice your body signs and symptoms like increased heart rate, quick breaths or clenched fist and jaw muscles. The sooner you will be able to notice yourself angry the quicker you will be able to check yourself and realize the anger in a productive healthy manner.
Pause before you speak
When we get angry we are likely to say things to the other person we might regret later on. So before you speak anything while being angry take a minute to contemplate your thoughts and formulate them in a way that you know will not hurt the person. Some individuals have reported that thinking that they are being recorded while being angry helps them keep their language and what they are saying in check.
Express your points when you are calm
Sometimes it gets very difficult to put across one’s point of view when we are angry. There is more shouting and screaming that is happening than actual understanding and communicating of thoughts. So it would be better if you could communicate and express your point of view after you have calmed down or removed yourself from the situation. The main aim is to reach our goal and not be angry.
Exercise or engage in physical activity
Anger builds up a lot of energy inside of us where we feel more hyper and active. Rather than hang that to cause hurt or pain to objects or people you can use it to workout and exercise. Use your anger as fuel to exercise or engage in physical activity. Let your steam out by working harder rather than by shouting and breaking things. A physical workout will let you release the built-up tension inside and make you feel better about yourself.
Go out for a walk
Sometimes removing yourself from the situation that is making you angry can help you relax and calm down. Going out for a walk and listening to relaxing can help deal with festering anger. It helps you by giving you time to think about the situation more objectively and formulate a plan to deal with it more effectively than just shouting and screaming. Walking also helps with the loosening of the body and with the physical stress that is inflicted upon the body due to anger.
Take a timeout
Removing yourself from the situation that is making you worked up and angry even temporarily can be helpful. In case you are in an argument with your loved one, take a timeout and let your mind think over what is happening rather than letting the festering anger out after you have thought about the situation more clearly. It helps you evaluate the other person’s point of view too against your own and then assess the situation more rationally.
Look for alternative solutions
Rather than bursting out in an angry fit analyze what other possible alternative solutions can be done to take care of the situation. What other ways can the situation be dealt with so that you can achieve your goal and remove the hindrance? It is necessary to look at the bigger picture rather than letting the festering anger inside us get the better of us and spoil the situation even more.
Don’t start the blame game
It is very easy to blame the other person when things go wrong but difficult to look at our own mistakes and self reflect. It is very important to look at where we are lacking or what wrong we did rather than blaming others for not being in the position of achieving the goal we wanted to. Introspect and look where you went wrong and try to fix that. It is important to learn from our mistakes so that we do not do them again in the future.
Forgive the other person
One way to let go of the festering anger within us is to forgive the other person and not hold a grudge against them. It is not easy to forgive someone and let go of the situation. It is very tough at times and requires a lot of strength. But it is very important to let go of the anger we have built up inside ourselves against the person.
Practice relaxation techniques
Practicing yoga and mediation has been proven helpful in controlling anger, especially festering anger. It helps the body and mind realign themselves and focus on the positive alternative that can be implemented rather than the negative ones like anger outbursts. Other mindful exercises can also be practiced daily to help with the anger.
It is okay to cry
Sometimes anger can cause overwhelming responses within us and lead us to want to cry. Remember that it is okay to cry and let out the emotions and feelings pent up inside us. Crying is a healthy response to feelings of anger and can help us release our feelings in a way that brings us closure. Crying while being angry is not a sign of weakness.
Sleep over the anger
Take a short nap or close your eyes for 20 minutes. Rather than allowing the festering anger to take over your whole body and mind, give your mind time to process the situation and assess your best move. Sleeping helps calm down the physical anger as well as the turmoil that is brewing inside our minds.
Write down your feelings
Rather than directing your anger towards an object or person, direct it towards a pen and paper. Not by destroying or breaking them but by jotting down the feelings and emotions you are experiencing. Write down how you are feeling and why these emotions are present inside you. Also write about things that you want to do when you are angry and rather than doing them just write about it.
Channel the anger into something productive
Rather than bursting out in anger and letting your festering anger get the better of you, channel your anger into something productive. This could include working harder on achieving your goal of finding other alternative solutions for your problems. Use the anger as a fuel to help you move forward.
Watch something relaxing
Sometimes putting on a funny stand up comedy or re-watching your favorite movie can help you feel better and calmer. So switch on a funny video and let it work it’s magic in you. Sit back and relax, forget about the problems you have for the moment. After you feel better go back to the problem and think of a solution.
Talk to a friend
Discuss your problems with friends and explain to them your situation. Sometimes talking about it with someone can help you find a solution better than just pondering upon it on your own. Let out your anger to them and let them provide you solutions.
Seek professional help if anger seems to be out of control
If you feel that no matter what the festering anger inside you is not going away, seek help from a professional anger management specialist. They will help you learn how to control and channel your anger.
In this article, we provided you with different tips and techniques you can employ when you want to deal with festering anger inside of you in a healthy way.
FAQs: How to deal with Festering Anger
What’s behind the anger?
Anger is a response to frustration that is caused by external stressors. Anger is triggered by emotions felt by us such as sadness, fear, worry, anxiety, embarrassment, shame, fear, hurt, guilt, jealousy and disappointment. These negative emotions are felt by us and are seen as threatening. To deal with and remove these feelings we get angry.
How do you release anger and rage?
To release anger and rage in a healthy non-threatening manner, you need to think before you speak especially when you are in a situation that is making you angry. Calm yourself down and once you feel in control of your anger, express the reason for your anger and rage. Exercise a little or take a timeout to calm yourself down. Identify the possible solutions to your problem.
What does festering mean?
Festering is a verb that means to generate pus in a wound that is inflamed and festered. Festering also means to cause an increase in irritation, poisoning or bitterness in a person.
What is a festering sore?
Fester is a verb that is used to describe the process when a wound or sore starts to get worse and has some liquid or pus coming out of it. In case a cut or disease is infested it starts to fester.
What are the three types of anger?
Anger is expressed in three general types, they are aggressive, passive and assertive.
What Mental Illness Causes Anger?
A mental illness that causes anger is bipolar mood disorder. Bipolar mood disorder causes dramatic mood swings and these mood swing’s intensity ranges from mania to depression. Individuals with bipolar mood disorder are likely to experience feelings of anger, rage and irritability.