This blog answers: How to deal with favoritism shown to a relative? What are the effects of favoritism?
How to deal with favoritism shown to a relative?
Some ways to deal with favoritism shown to relatives are:
Keep in mind that you, too, have favorites
Accepting that you, too, have preferences within your family is the first step toward dealing with favoritism. Examine yourself to see how each member of your family is unique, as well as how your sentiments toward them differ.
Even if you love all of your relatives equally, you have a stronger connection with some than others. By identifying your own biases, you permit yourself to sympathize with the actions of your other family members.
Also, keep in mind that you may enjoy performing particular activities with each person or, conversely, you may despise doing certain activities with them.
You and your uncle can spend hours together playing cards or hiking, even if he isn’t very pleasant at holiday gatherings.
Respect your personal boundaries.
Even if you are capable of treating others equally regardless of your own preferences, you may see that many others are not.
Due to the taboo against favoritism, many people are afraid of hurting others if they disclose their behavior, even though it is evident to the rest of the group.
Alternatively, they may be completely unaware that they are generating a favoritism dynamic. Your best defense against mistreatment is to set clear limits and demonstrate what you are and are not ready to put up with.
Place a premium on your own happiness.
Above all, understand that some people simply do not belong in their families. Another taboo in a culture where “family is forever,” is that people frequently engage in holiday activities with people who do not respect them.
Although skipping a party may generate conflict, if you don’t want to spend time with your family and you have other options, don’t feel bad about rescheduling.
Recent trends show that, rather than putting up with family strife, many young people prefer to spend the holidays with individuals they care about.
You have the right to be happy, and putting yourself through suffering isn’t good for you or your family. If there are a few family members you want to see, consider making private plans with them and bypassing the gathering with the relatives whose favoritism bothers you.
Speak with your sibling.
Though you may be frustrated with your sibling as well, reach out to them if you feel safe doing so. Even though their experience differs from yours, they are the only other person who knows what it’s like to have the same parents as you.
If you can’t talk to a sibling, talk to someone else in the family.
To combat the negative impacts of parental partiality and possible sibling rivalry, try to cultivate a strong, autonomous bond with your sister.
You can achieve this by spending quality time with each other outside of family gatherings or scheduling a lunch date. A good relationship with your sister can help you get more emotional support.
What are the effects of favoritism?
Favoritism impacts both, those avoided and those given importance negatively over a period of time.
Favoritism can have various effects such as:
A predominant effect of favoritism is anger. Unfavored relatives might display anger towards those showing favoritism. In some cases, this anger is projected to those who are favored as well.
Persistent favoritism can have a negative impact on a person’s relationships. Favoritism can lead to resentment between relatives which prolongs for ages. Apart from this favoritism can also stop people from forming close bonds.
Effect on life success
One’s future success can also be impacted due to favoritism. For instance, if someone spent years thinking about themselves as competent and capable it might lead to an inflated sense of self.
Favoritism can also lead to over-dependence impacting a person’s decision-making and problem-solving abilities making way for major hurdles in one’s way to a successful life.
When it comes to visiting our relatives, some of us have mixed feelings. Family reunions may force bitter bias in our faces, which is one of the many reasons we dislike them.
This is normal. It’s difficult to remember the family order and who the “favorites” are after some time apart. We begin to compare our experiences to those of others, noticing that some members are given greater benefits than others.
This type of favoritism for a relative stinks and makes you feel bad about yourself. Favoritism is often unconscious, and few people are prepared to admit it.
However, you are the best judge of what is fair and what feels good to you, so plan your holiday activities appropriately. Keep in mind that partiality is a reflection of the person who chooses favorites, not of your value.
Finally, keep in mind that most of us do not get to choose our families, therefore there’s a good chance we won’t get along with our relatives.
You are more than the acceptance of those who do not accept you, even though they should. Hence put your happiness first, surround yourself with people who understand, and become your own favorite.
Frequently asked questions: How to deal with favoritism shown to a relative?
What can I do to stop favoritism?
Some ways to stop favoritism are:
- Keep an eye on things
- Set a Good Example
- Defend against the inner circle trend.
- Be Consistent and Frequent With Recognition
- Say Thank you
What is the source of the family’s favoritism?
It’s possible that one child is simpler to parent and interact with than the other. Often, another sibling simply doesn’t have the same demands or challenges or can become the mediator, leading to a perceived feeling of favoritism.
What impact does partiality have on the family?
Favoritism can lead to a child’s anger or behavior issues, as well as increased levels of despair, a lack of self-confidence, and a refusal to communicate properly with others. These problems can affect both children who were favored by their parents and those who were not.