This article will focus on discussing how to accept that a friendship is over. It will also cover when you should consider ending a friendship.
How to accept that a friendship is over?
There is a process to accepting that a friendship is over. Here is how you can do it.
Remember why it doesn’t work anymore
No one decides to end a friendship from one moment to the next. When you decide to do it, it may mean that you have tried in many ways to maintain this relationship alive, you may have talked it over with your friend about the trouble the two of you were facing or even took your time to realize what was wrong.
So when you decide to be over, you must keep reminding yourself why that is. Knowing that there was a meaning for that is what will allow you to pursue that path and not turn back as soon as you miss them, which can happen as time passes.
Put it out
A good way to keep the reasons why that friendship is your memory is by writing it out. As you do that, you will not only keep the memories alive for you to look back on whenever you need them, but you will also have the possibility to put your feelings out, which can give you a sense of relief.
And that can’t be reached only through writing. Talking to people, be it your friends, family members, or even a therapist will help you get a clear view of what happened, why this friendship had to be over, and give you the possibility to vent.
Putting it all out is also a powerful tool to help you get some closure, as you get a full picture of what was happening in that friendship.
Let go of what reminds you of them
When a friendship is over, going through pictures, conversations, or social media posts the two of you had together will only make it worse. You should take down the pictures you have in your room of the two of you, for example.
Keeping all you have that reminds you of them in a memory box can give you a chance to later revisit it, but without you looking at it all the time.
You should also avoid going to places the two of you used to go together. That is not only because you may want to prevent having memories, but also so you don’t run into each other at the moment in which the two of you are still healing.
The same should be done when considering hanging out with people that were friends with the two of you. You may not want to hear about how your former friend is doing, and may not want them to know about you.
So you may want to think carefully before meeting people that are close to the two of you. This doesn’t need to be a definite change, but for the time being, it may be important.
Make new connections
If you have ended one friendship, it is important that you still have people around you that show you how capable you are of having friends, and how good it is to have friends with whom you connect. Having more positive connections can make you make even more sense of why this friendship happened.
Aside from the new friends, connecting to new things, for example opening yourself up to a new hobby or a new activity can help you gain a better sense of who you are without this friendship.
If you feel you need it, look for professional help
Dealing with a friendship that is over is not easy. You may grieve the end of the friendship, and sometimes dealing with those feelings on your own won’t be easy. So if you ever feel like you need to, don’t hesitate to look for professional help. This may help you discover new ways to cope.
Learn to let go
Ultimately, dealing with the end of a friendship means you should have in mind why it ended, and not keep feeding yourself with negative thoughts about that. Forgiving the person is not something you will do for them, but mostly something you will do for yourself, so you can finally accept the friendship is over, and then let go.
When should a friendship be over?
Ending a friendship is never easy. But sometimes it may be important to learn that friendship has reached its limit. Distancing yourself from your friend can happen for various reasons. Sometimes it may be that the two of you simply have been walking on different paths.
Maybe the interests you used to share no longer connect you, or you are in different life stages. Either way, it seems that the differences between the two of you say more than the similarities, and you don’t feel like there is a lot more for the two of you to share. When this happens, you can start to naturally drift apart.
But friendships may also end when one of you realizes that you are putting a lot more effort into the relationship than the other. If you feel that you are putting in all the energy, and making a priority of spending time together, when the other person is not doing the same, it may be time to consider ending this friendship.
The same should be done if you feel you can’t trust your friend. So if you ever learn that they have been gossiping about you, sharing your secrets with other people, and putting you in a compromising situation it may be time to say goodbye.
Finally, you may choose to end a friendship if you realize that it has become toxic. This doesn’t mean that the friendship will just fade away, but rather that you will have to make the conscious decision to step away.
You may want to do that if being around that person makes you feel anxious, if they encourage you to act in unhealthy ways, or even if your friend acts in a way that hurt you, for example, if they are always making fun of you.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): How to accept that a friendship is over?
What are signs that a friendship is over?
If you are wondering if your friendship is over, know that when it happens some things will change. It may be that only one of you is putting in the effort towards making the relationship work. It can also be that they will often betray your trust, and won’t keep to themselves the secrets you share with them.
When your friendship is pretty much over, you will realize that your friend will become more negative, and make no effort to change. With time, you may also realize that the two of you have very little to talk to each other about. And they can become that person in your life that only brings chaos or dramatic situations.
Aside from that, if you feel that, the relationship may be over if you feel that they are reacting in a passive-aggressive way whenever you say no to them. And whenever you want to discuss a matter, they will often disregard it. Finally, a friendship that is over is also one that will make you feel worse about yourself
Is it okay to ask for a break from a friend?
Yes, it should be okay to ask your friend for some time, and space. You should know that, even though you are friends, it is important that you prioritize yourself, and your health. So if you feel that at any point this relationship is demanding something from you that you need space, don’t be afraid to say it.
And if you ever notice that your friend is not accepting your requirement for space, it may be that your friend is not attentive to your needs, and boundaries, so that is something the two of you should discuss, and if they are still not willing to give you your space, you may want to think about how positive this relationship is to you.
How can I reconnect with a friend I lost touch with?
If you want to reconnect with a friend you are no longer in touch with, you may want to make the first move, and try to talk to them. Reach out, it can be through a phone call or even a text message. If you manage to do that, ask them if they are open to meeting you.
So if they agree to get together, it may be time to discuss the matters that made the two of you drift apart. Those shouldn’t be things to be discussed over text, talking about it face to face will allow the two of you to talk, listen to each other, and find an understanding, or maybe compromise on the matter that caused the two of you to become distant.
In this conversation, it is important that you take into consideration the history the two of you have, and you take the responsibility for the things you may have done wrong.
So through this conversation, you may come to realize if there is still a lot of room for the two of you to go on, and how would you like this friendship to be from this moment forward.
As you have stated your case, and the two of you have thought things over, it may be time to give them space, and let them decide what they want to do. And if they reach out to you, it is a sign that it is possible to make this friendship work once again.
What can I say to a friend that I want to cut off from my life?
If you have a friend that you want to cut off from your life, you may tell them that you have come to realize that you have noticed that the two of you are going through different moments in life and that you feel that maintaining this pattern is no longer healthy for you.
Can losing a friend lead to trauma?
Yes, losing a friend can be seen as a traumatic experience. It can happen that, as you end a friendship, the reaction and pain from it can be so intense making it a traumatic experience for you.
This article focused on giving you tips on how to accept that a friendship is over. It also showed you when you should consider ending a friendship.
If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write them in the section below.