How soon is too soon to propose?

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In this brief guide we are going to answer the question ‘’How soon is too soon to propose?’’ We’ll find out how soon couples get married, how long a couple should wait before getting married and things to consider before making this big decision.

How soon is too soon to propose?

It’s never too soon to propose, but it’s best to wait until at least one year to see if the feelings you have are for real.

Modern couples are rewriting the story of romance when it comes to marriage. We’re spending less time imitating the fantasy fairy tale and more time making a decision when it comes time to put on the ring. 

Not only that, but we’re also spending more time in our relationships before marriage. According to an English study based on 4,000 newly married couples, a normal couple takes almost five years in a relationship before going through the civil registry.

On average, couples spend 17 months in a relationship before moving in together. Living together, the big filter before marriage, takes about 22 months before the engagement. Then come the preparations that last 20 months before marriage. 

The vast majority of couples live together for 3.5 years before marriage and almost 9 out of 10 couples live together before marriage. One of the reasons may be an economic decision, although many others want to “try-out” what marriage would be like.

We are also marrying much later than previous generations. Modern brides are over 30, grooms are choosing 32 as the ideal age for marriage. A far cry from the young 22 and 24 when couples were choosing to marry in 1971. These days, dead men in the closet are more likely than in previous years: normal couples have already had two serious relationships before marriage.

People’s attitudes toward marriage also changed. 83%said they felt no pressure to marry and 84% talked about marriage before engagement. In addition, an impressive majority (91%) said they got married to show their commitment, but not for social pressure, economic reasons or convenience. This shows how much society has changed in just a few decades.

Even almost all couples (95%) recommend getting married and 85% say it makes a relationship stronger. 80% said they feel more committed to each other and feel happier.

Hamish Shephard, the founder of Bridebook.co.uk, the company that conducted the study, said there is enough evidence to say that marriages are cemented stronger than before because decisions are made with time and independence.

Other researchers say that the important thing is that the couple is really sure that they want to take the next step, leaving behind the years or months they have known each other. -Like my parents who got married 6 months after being engaged, and they didn’t eat their cake before recess.

What should we live before getting married?

The truth is that in order to make a decision as important as getting married, couples must go through the following steps:

  • Celebrate an anniversary.
  • Meeting their parents.
  • Going on vacation together.
  • Spending a birthday.
  • Celebrating a Christmas.
  • Being together on success or failure.
  • Getting angry. This includes giving each other time, constant fights, couple crises you know the typical I love him or not. A breakup and reconciliation.

Spending a vacation

Spending a few days of rest together, away from the usual routine. This space is essential for everyone to see how they cope in the hustle and bustle of an airport, after a day of touring the city, or simply when it’s time to pay the bills in restaurants and stores.

An anniversary

Celebrating this special date, on which you met or began your relationship, will give you a glimpse of what the rest of your life has in store for you. 

If anniversaries are very important to you and your partner simply forgot about it, you can already start making decisions, because imagine what awaits you when you celebrate 10 years of marriage.

A Birthday

More or less the same considerations as above apply. As a bride and groom, this is the best time to measure how special or thoughtful your partner is and how much you do or do not care about those details.

Celebrating Christmas

Perhaps this is the happiest time in the world, the one that inspires the best wishes and unites us more and more to the family. But it is also the most stressful and the one that generates the most depression, anxiety and sadness in people. That is the only reason why you have to survive your partner’s family.

A success and a failure

In sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, that is simply an evolution of being together with your partner in success and failure. According to a popular adage, in difficult times people get to know each other better, and this, of course, is also the case with fiancés.

A disagreement 

Just as dangerous as a couple that fights over everything is one that never has a difference, experts say. So if you’re still at the stage where you always agree with each other, try to delve into that aspect and find points of difference that will surely help you grow as a couple.

A meal with their parents

Even though the relationship is yours, when you decide to marry your partner you are also marrying his or her family. You will have to overcome any family differences that exist and always know where you stand.

A cooling off

Yes, it can happen to everyone. After the first three months of magic and enchantment, it can happen that things cool down a bit and make you rethink. 

The good thing about this difficult situation is that if you manage to overcome it as a couple, you may also be able to do so in the future as spouses.

A fresh start

It’s an extreme situation, but surely couples who manage to overcome it successfully may be a little more ready than others to start a life together.

So your courtships can last long or short, it depends on you and how you feel about the relationship and your partner.

Frequently Asked Questions: How soon is too soon to propose?

How long should you wait before proposing?

One to two years is often a good amount of time to date before getting engaged.

Is 1 year too soon to propose?

Each couple is different, but a reasonable amount of time to be engaged is one to three years.

How long does the average couple date before getting engaged?

Most couples date for two or more years before getting engaged.

Is 9 months too soon to get engaged?

Yes, nine months is too soon to get engaged. It is recommended to wait at least one year.

How long do rushed marriages last?

Of those who were quicker to marry, the study found that the marriages survived to the seven-year mark, but many divorced after that.

References

Title, S. (2020, September). 26 Signs You Should Propose ASAP. Retrieved August 3, 2022, from WeddingWire website: https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-ideas/21-signs-you-should-propose-asap

‌Hampson, L. (2019, January 10). This is the “perfect” time to get engaged, according to experts. Retrieved August 3, 2022, from Evening Standard website: https://www.standard.co.uk/lifestyle/dating/average-relationship-timelines-when-to-get-engaged-a3861276.html

Gonsalves, k. ‌How Soon Is Too Soon To Propose? 18 Signs You’re Ready + Red Flags To Watch For. Retrieved August 3, 2022, from mindbodygreen website: https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/how-soon-is-too-soon-to-propose

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