This article will discuss how it feels for people to live without a significant other. How you can enjoy your life, and not feel bad about it. The article will also discuss how loneliness can affect you when you have no significant other.
What can I do when I don’t have a significant other?
Having a significant other is something society is always asking of us. Our society assumes people would only be happy and fulfilled if they have a relationship. Since teenagers, we are led to focus a great amount of energy on finding someone.
In high school is finding a high school sweetheart or someone you will go to prom with. In college, people are already pressured into finding someone they would marry straight out of it. And if it doesn’t happen that way, family and friends may constantly ask you when you will meet someone.
You may have had some relationships in your life, but no one you can call a significant other. By your thirties, it may seem like you are late, or left behind.
So many of your friends have found their significant other and already decided to get married, that you can feel like there is something wrong with you. It can also make you feel like a failure.
What is important to keep in mind when those feelings kick in is that your life is not only based on the relationship you have. You have got a lot more going on in your life. Let’s discuss what are things you can focus on when you don’t have a significant other.
Reflect on what happened in your previous relationship
When you feel bad about not having a relationship, try to look back on the ones you had before. Try to understand your patterns, your attachment style. Reflecting on your past relationships can be a way to prepare yourself for the one in your future.
It can also be a way to understand that you are worthy of love and have a good relationship. It has happened before, and it will happen again.
Discover things that give you pleasure
Having a life that is fulfilled not only by a relationship is extremely important. Even when you have a significant other, you should always have things in your life that bring you joy, and that is not connected to the relationship.
It can be learning a new language or joining a dance class. But try to have things that bring you positive emotions and make you feel fulfilled even without a significant other.
Enjoy self-care activities
The same is said about self-care activities. When you are in a relationship, you usually tend to care a lot for your partner, and the relationship. So when you are single, try to focus your energy on your self-care.
Exercising, eating healthy, sleeping well, and developing your knowledge can be great ways to remind yourself that your life is more than having a significant other.
Focus on your other relationships
You can also focus on your other relationships. Friends, family members are also an important part of life. Get in touch with them, and do things together. You can go for a hike, or have coffee with them. Human beings need connections, and people they can share things with and trust on.
Focus on your work
While you don’t have a significant other, it can be a great chance to focus on your career. Maybe focus on a promotion, or you can think about moving to another town to work. You can feel a sense of accomplishment and realize how you can have a great life without a relationship.
How can I cope with loneliness?
But sometimes, even if you feel like you have a full life without a significant other, loneliness can appear. The first thing to know is that loneliness is a common feeling. Everyone will experience it once in and while.
And dates such as Valentine’s Day can seem harder when you don’t have a significant other. And although loneliness is common, it can also impact a person’s physical and emotional health.
It can be associated with depression, a less active immune system, and a poorer sense of well-being. When you are experiencing loneliness, here are some ways you cope with it.
Get a Pet
Having a pet is a great way to cope with loneliness. You can rescue a pet in a shelter, this can be an altruistic act, and it also gives you a companion. And the benefits are not only in your house.
Having a pet can even increase your social contacts. For example, if you have a dog, you will need to take it for a walk, and at that time you can meet people from your neighborhood, and even other people that take their dogs to one of those dog parks.
Enjoy the positive sides of being single
While you may feel bad for not having a relationship, you can look at it from another perspective. You can allow yourself to discover the perks of being single. You can use this time to develop a new skill, or a hobby, all of this can improve your health and your sense of well-being.
Doing a volunteer job can be another altruistic act, but it can also be something that gives your life some meaning. It can make you feel a sense of happiness, and satisfaction with your life. Not only that, but volunteering can also make you feel more grateful for the life you have.
Start a new project
If you feel lonely, it can be good for you to start a new project. Maybe remodel a room in your house, or join a new book club. Keeping your mind occupied when you feel lonely, can make it easier for you to deal with it.
Look for professional help
If you feel, at some point, that loneliness is taking a toll on you, it might be a good idea to look for professional help. Having someone to listen to you without judgment can prevent your emotional state from deteriorating.
It will allow you to understand what is causing you to feel so lonely, and what are other ways for you to handle it.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): How does life feel without a significant other?
What makes a relationship successful?
A successful relationship is one in which people have great communication. That doesn’t mean that the relationship will always be easy and without conflict. That is not real. To have great communication means you can speak your mind and feel heard by your partner, and he feels the same.
No matter what conflict you are dealing with, you both will be open to dealing with it. Another aspect that makes a relationship successful is knowing as much as you can about your partner.
This way you both will be able to be careful about triggering some of their traumas, but also know what makes them feel loved, and act accordingly.
What are the signs of a healthy relationship?
In a healthy relationship, you won’t feel afraid of speaking your mind. The conversation will flow easily, and you will both be open to dealing with conflicts. That is because you trust one another, and even if you don’t agree on everything, you surely respect each other above all of it.
In a healthy relationship, you and your partner will be walking towards the same goal but will have autonomy and independence to have your separate interests. In this relationship, you will feel that your boundaries are respected and that even though you both have them, you respect and support each other.
What are the signs of an unhealthy relationship?
An unhealthy behavior usually has some signs. The main one is dishonesty. You don’t need to tell your partner absolutely everything, but sharing your ideas and desires is important so you can grow closer.
In an unhealthy behavior, people are often controlling. They won’t respect the person’s independence and autonomy. In it, you also avoid dealing with difficult topics, this can cause conflict and resentment to grow in the relationship.
Insecurity also makes a relationship unhealthy. Of course, your partner is not able to make you completely secure, but you both should be able to understand the importance you have on the other’s life.
What are the warning signs in a relationship?
Warning signs are signs people should be aware of because they can come to be a problem in the long run of the relationship. For example, if you ignore something that would be a deal-breaker for you, tight at the beginning of the relationship. This can be a warning sign for you to make the relationship work.
Another warning sign is when you and your partner don’t have aligned goals. This can make it hard for you two to understand where this relationship is going. If one of you wants children, and the other doesn’t, how can you find a middle ground?
When disagreements or conflicts turn into blowouts it can mean that there is some trouble in dealing with emotions. It can be from your side, from their, or just about how you communicate. But you should try to figure this out before it becomes worse.
The same is said about blaming the other for everything. It can turn the environment hostile, and sharing can become a lot harder. Keeping a secret is also a warning sign.
You don’t need to tell your partner your every thought, but you should be able to share your intimate desires and thoughts with your partner, otherwise, you might become distant.
What is an unsupportive partner?
An unsupportive partner does not have your back. They are also ones that minimize the issues you bring to difficult conversations. And might even talk over you when you are communicating your concerns.
Your unsupportive partner will hardly be happy with your success, they can be envious of it. They will not show interest in your goals and plans, that is because they will make everything about them, which can make you distance yourself from them.
An unsupportive partner will make themselves scarce when times are hard.
They won’t have the energy to help or even care for you in a difficult time. They can’t even find little ways to help. And usually, just pile on the negative thoughts or situations you are going through.
This article discussed what life feels like when you don’t have a significant other. What are things to consider during that time, and how can you deal with loneliness when you don’t have a significant other.
If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write it in the section below.