How do narcissists treat their exes?

This article will show how a person with narcissistic traits will treat their exes, and what goes through their mind in that. The article will also bring a brief explanation of what it means to be a narcissist.

How do narcissists treat their exes? 

Getting out of a relationship with a narcissist can be extremely difficult. Deciding to break up, or being broken up with by a narcissist is something that can drain you emotionally. 

But as it ends, you may start to question how your narcissist ex will act towards you. Here are some of the most common ways narcissists will act towards their exes.

They will be emotionally abusive 

When you break up with a narcissist, they can be extremely abusive. They will attack you using all your weakness, and insecurity. They may be so angry that you walked away, that all they want is for you to not heal. And maybe through that, you will even keep yourself under their power.

They will make themselves present 

If the narcissists still think of you as someone they need in their life, they will make sure to keep themselves present. They will send you as many texts as they can, and even if you are ignoring them, they will just keep writing.

They will make themselves present even by meeting you in a place by accident. They want to keep you within their reach, so even a little answer you send their way is an encouragement for them.

They will make sure you know how weak you are 

To maintain you in control, the narcissist will be extremely abusive. They will keep on reminding you how weak you are, even if that is not true. But making you feel small is a way for them to be valuable in your life.

They can say things such as “you are lost without me”, trying to emphasize how much you need them. So if you want to step away from this movement, you should work on your self-esteem, and self-worth, reminding yourself that you managed your life quite well before they came along.

They will try to seduce you 

Narcissists are people that are great at seducing others. They need to be since that is a way to keep others around. So at some point, when you are broken up with the narcissist, they may come back and try to seduce you again.

They can often begin to write you and talk about how good sex used to be. Tell you all the things they know you used to enjoy. In hopes of getting you back to their control.

They will play the blame game 

When a relationship with a narcissist ends, it doesn’t matter who ended the relationship, or who did what wrong. The blame will always be on the other person. It was either that you were behaving so badly that they had to get out, or if you left the narcissist they would say it was your behavior that made them act that way.

You can’t win with a narcissist, and if you stick around to discuss this blame game, you are giving them exactly what they want. They are keeping you around.

They can begin to bad mouth you 

Narcissists live based on how great people think they are. If you have ended a relationship with one, they may begin to tell others that you were the wrong part.

Narcissists will never own up to their responsibilities in the relationship. So they will turn to your mutual friends, or even your family members, and play the role of the victim, showing that you are the one that treated them badly.

How do narcissists treat their exes?

They can begin to blackmail you

When you are in a relationship, you may share the most secret and deepest parts of yourself. Unfortunately, with a narcissist, once you do that, you are just giving them ammunition for the future.

When the relationship is over, if they decide they still want something from you, they can begin to blackmail you. You may have sent nude pictures, told them embarrassing things about yourself, or you even have a kid with them, which they are putting through an intense custody battle. 

Once they want to get you back to their realm of power, they will use all of those things for that.

They will say what you want to hear

At some point, if they are trying to maintain their control over you, they will begin to tell you exactly what you want to hear. They know that there is something wrong with them. And to prove to you they are working on getting better, they will tell you that they are looking for help.

They may not talk about getting back together but may make you promise that you will never get them on a lie again, or that they are open to being friends. 

That is because they can be sneaky, and will rather have that space in your life than nothing at all. If you maintain your distance, they can even get to the point of saying that they will end their lives.

What does it mean to be a narcissist?

Narcissism can be a trait of a person or even a personality disorder. As a disorder, it is called Narcissistic personality disorder. When someone is a narcissist, they will be less empathetic toward others, and will often use people as a way to fulfill their needs.

The narcissist will often rely on the admiration of others but will have a high sense of self-worth. When a narcissist establishes a relationship with you, it can be because the other person will constantly praise them, or give them power.

People with narcissistic traits will have a sense of being grand, and think highly of themselves. Because of that, they will think that they need to be treated differently and better than others, always looking for privileges. 

They will often be overly focused on themselves, and try to impress others around, which can often lead them to brag about everything. They need others to keep admiring them, so they can feel good about themselves.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): How do narcissists treat their exes?

Do narcissists go back to their exes? 

Yes, narcissists will often go back to their exes if they allow it. This doesn’t necessarily have to do with love. That will continue to happen because they will count on their exes as a sure way to get their narcissistic supply. 

So whenever they feel they don’t have anyone doing that for them, or that it is not enough, they can return to their exes to have their needs filled. They will only stop going after their exes when they finally decide to cut all forms of contact with the narcissist, leaving them no other option.

Can someone be cured of being a narcissist?

No, narcissists can’t be cured. But the narcissistic traits and behaviors can be treated through therapy. And although it may be hard for a narcissist to admit they need to work on themselves, as they do it, they can see that their relationship with themselves, and others will improve.

That happens because through therapy they will begin to learn how to not have such perfect standards for themselves and others. They will also learn to look at themselves more kindly, and set goals that are not so unattainable.

In some cases, narcissists will also take medication to help them. But that is not to deal with the narcissistic traits, rather than that, they can take medication to help them with conditions such as anxiety, and depression.

How do narcissists react when they can’t control you?

For a narcissist losing control of the person that is giving them their narcissist supply is one of the most hurtful things. When that happens, they can often act in rage, and they can go to the extent of threatening the person.

They will use all the manipulation techniques, such as gaslight, and silent treatment to get the person back to their realm of control. In that way, they can also begin to bad mouth you to others, all in hopes that you will go back to them.

How do I know a narcissist is done with me?

Unfortunately, it is common that a narcissist will be done with people, and just discard them. When that is the case, they will show no emotions at all towards you. They can also begin to criticize you and put all the blame for things on you.

When in contact with you, you can feel that they are always irritated or angry and that they will pick fights over the littlest things, and will constantly try to take advantage of you. If you are in a romantic relationship, they will not be physically intimate with you, and can even accuse you of cheating.

When they are done with you, they will often gaslight you to tear you down. And they will likely ignore everything you have to say. But the clearest sign that a narcissist is done with you, is if they stop all communication. They will not even have the nerve to talk about it, most of the time they will just disappear.

Can a narcissist miss people?

Yes, narcissists can miss people. But it is important to have in mind that for a narcissist missing people doesn’t happen in the same way as it does to other people. A narcissist won’t miss the person in itself, but they will miss what this person gave to them when they were in contact.

So it can be that you are a person that has a lot of power and that you rub that power off on the narcissist. When they are not in contact with you, they can miss that. 

On the other hand, if you were the person that gave the narcissist a lot of praise, and put them up on a pedestal when they are no longer in touch with you, they can often miss all this praise that you used to give them.

That is why narcissistic people are often interchangeable with one another. If you are not filling their narcissistic supplies, they will likely find someone else to do just that. And that is the moment when they will stop missing you.


This article showed how narcissists will often treat their exes, and what is on their minds in each way. Aside from that, the article gave a brief explanation of what it means to be a narcissist.

If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write them in the section below.


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