How can I make an avoidant miss me?

This article will focus on explaining what are the best ways to make an avoidant miss. It will also show what it means to be avoidant.

How can I make an avoidant miss me?

If you are going out, or have some type of relationship with an avoidant person, you may have noticed that from time to time they will begin to push you away. If that is the case, know that there are some ways you can behave that will make an avoidant miss you. Here is what you can do.

Don’t go after them  

When you are in a relationship with an avoidant, the first thing you need to know is that you should never chase them. An avoidant person is one that often needs their time and space to deal with their emotional matters.

But if you become anxious about it, and start pursuing them, the avoidant will likely shut you out completely. Instead, trust the relationship you had up until this moment, and give them space. They will most likely come back soon enough and resume the relationship as it was.

What you can do, once they come back, is tell them how it makes you feel when they begin to push you away. Maybe through that, you can improve your communication, and deal with these moments differently. In some cases, even some therapy sessions can help the two of you to get a better handle on this.

Master the waiting game 

Since you are supposed to not pursue the avoidant, over the relationship you may become the master of the waiting game. Working on your patience is extremely important to maintain that relationship.

After a while with an avoidant person, you may have come to realize that this is their pattern. Sometimes they need their space and can push you away in the process. But if the two of you have talked this over, you know that this is not a sign that they don’t love you anymore.

Being confident of this is something that will help you not pursue them. It is also what will help you keep your life moving, even though they are not there. 

You know that staying in bed all day, and waiting for the phone to ring won’t fix anything. When you master the waiting game you will allow yourself to live your life while the avoidant is dealing with their matters, until they are ready to come back because they miss you.

Take some time away from social media 

This can work both ways. If you are pressuring an avoidant to make your relationship on social media known, it may be something that can make them feel pressured. And when an avoidant feels like that, they just run away.

But, if the avoidant person you are connected to has gotten distant, and it has nothing to do with social media, you can try to make them miss you by vanishing from that space. They may have known that you used to post everything, all the time.

And now, all of the sudden, there is no news from you in there. They may become curious, and wonder what is happening in your life. When they don’t know what is happening, they will not only miss you but will also get in touch.

Be mysterious 

In the same way as vanishing from social media, you should always leave an avoidant wondering what is happening in your life. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t communicate in your relationship, and leave them in the dark. 

But rather that you save some part of yourself that will always make them crave to know more about you. This will surely make them miss you.

Look good when you know you will run into them 

If there is any chance you are running into the avoidant, make sure to look good as you do so. It doesn’t need to be something over the top, but the avoidant needs to be able to see that, even though they are not present, you are still living a really good life.

Knowing that you are an interesting person and that you are caring for yourself, and even getting the attention of others, will surely make the avoidant miss you, and even get in touch with you.

Be careful of your body language 

If you have an anxious attachment style, and you are involved with an avoidant, as you meet them, your body language will likely show how badly you want them back.

Even if you have made a point of changing how you act, sometimes your body language can betray you. Because of that, try to be careful with how you move when you are close to them. Show that you are happy to see them, but that you are also going through great things in your life.

Don’t pressure then 

If you are trying to be in a relationship with an avoidant person know that it is essential that you don’t pressure, or rush them into making the relationship serious. By doing so, you will most likely just scare them off. 

Let the relationship build itself slowly, and instead of making a point of big definitions of the relationship, understand that an avoidant will show love differently and that it is mostly in the small gestures. By doing so, they can begin to miss you when you are not around.

Make them feel appreciated 

An avoidant person is usually one that has a lot of self-esteem issues. Hey can be extremely insecure, and that is why they push others away. They are, in reality, afraid of being abandoned, so they rather leave the relationship themselves.

So if you want to make the relationship with an avoidant grow, show them that you see positive things in them. This can make them feel safer around you. And if at any moment they push away, they can begin to miss you as they remember how supportive you were of them.

What does it mean to be an avoidant?

Being avoidant means you have an avoidant attachment style. This talks about the way you connect to people. The style of your attachment is something that will always have an impact on your relationship, be it romantic, or even professional relationships. 

A person with an avoidant attachment style can easily avoid people, and will not get anxious because of that. They are the ones that will get nervous if people get too close, and are not looking for a close emotional relationship.

There are other three types of attachment styles. It can be an anxious attachment, in which the person wants a close connection, but they are constantly insecure about the relationship.

When someone has a secure attachment style, they feel comfortable and safe in having a close connection with another person. 

And finally, there is the fearful-avoidant attachment style, which means that the person will be able to have a close connection and relationship. But they will always be scared if their partner is being honest.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ): How can I make an avoidant miss me?

Will an avoidant come back?

An avoidant can come back. But this will often be related to how you act as they have been away. That will often happen if you manage to make them miss you.

When that is the case, they will begin to feel like they have lost a great person, and because of that, they can grow nostalgic about what the two of you had, at that time, if the two of you reconnect, they will likely come back.

What are signs that an avoidant is in love with me?

Avoidants will often demonstrate love differently, but some signs will let you know that an avoidant loves you. They will feel like that when they feel like they can be vulnerable with you, and they will enjoy it when you physically demonstrate your love, even in public.

They will also show their love in a nonverbal way, and will often show you how important it is to have your personal space. When in love, an avoidant will make an effort to connect with you, and because of that, they will actively listen.

Another sign they are alone is that they will make the first move in the relationship, and will want to get intimate, and always be close to you. They will also make sure to introduce you to their friends and family, and finally, they will say yes to getting married.

Why is an avoidant ignoring me?

An avoidant will often begin to ignore you if they feel like you are asking for a definition of the relationship, or if they feel pressured in any sense. Avoidants may have trouble dealing with intimacy, even though they may want it. 

So to maintain a relationship with an avoidant means that you may need to be extra patient because they can keep going back and forth until the two of you can make the next step, and make the relationship official.

Do avoidant regret breakups?

Some avoidants may regret ending a relationship. But most of the time avoidants won’t regret their breakups. That is because they create in their minds a list of reasons to justify why they ended the relationship.

Right after the relationship is over, avoidants will likely feel relieved that they ended the relationship. This sense of freedom will prevent them from regretting the breakup. But for the ones that will go through the regret, it can happen that, after a while, they will feel the need for the connection they had with that person.

Do avoidants lack empathy?

It is not possible to say that all avoidants lack empathy. Some of them can, like any other type of person can, lack some empathy. But the way they behave can often make people think that they don’t have empathy.

What is important to keep in mind is that they may have gone through negative experiences in the past, which may have caused them to have trouble dealing with people that are willing to be close to them, and love them. 

So as soon as a situation like this presents itself, an avoidant won’t know what to do and will need to escape, and for that, they will likely not take the other person’s feelings under consideration. Which causes people to think they lack empathy.


This article explained what are the best ways you can make an avoidant miss. Aside from that, the article showed what it means to be avoidant.

If you have any questions or comments about this article, feel free to write them in the section below.


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